If you don't control your woman, she will ruin you.
I never thought I would write those words, especially given my youth where I was impressed upon by everyone to defer to women at all times. If I had the chance to see where I was today and how I treat the women in my life, from family to friends to co-workers, I would wonder how I could be so popular with all of them. I wouldn't have understood how cockiness, order giving and stomping around inspires women to be deferential and sweet. Indeed, as a young man, I always wondered why it was that women I asked out would reject nice me so handily, but then they would go on to date guys who treated them poorly.
In this post, I'd like to present a ranking scale of where you and your wife/girlfriend are, and what you can do to upgrade her. I still don't recommend marriage for any man with the way the anti-male laws are today, and for all the many reasons I've written on this blog. This information, I hope, goes only to dating men, or men who are married with children who want to protect their kids by taking control of their marriages. Childless bachelors have little idea of the naked terror a man feels when his kids are in danger of being harmed or removed from his life, but I know about the empty pit in the stomach, lost weight, chaotic thoughts, dizziness and suicidal fantasies. Trust me. So let's get to it:
Rank S - Superb
- Does as her man says, with little to no question.
- Initiates sex some or most of the time, and it's on upwards of five times a week.
- Proactively cooks and offers massages, presents and other shows of love.
- Proactively thanks her man for what he does.
- Checks with her man before making a decision.
- Makes almost immediate changes when her man's desires contradict her personality or actions.
Ranking up
Since there is no way to rank up from a Rank S woman, being at the top and all, I'll instead offer some basic advice on how to keep her here:
- Don't every apologize. Ever. Even if you do something horrible like accidentally run over her cat, focus on what you'll do to make it right, or on how you made a mistake. Never, ever apologize to a woman, unless you're joking.
- Never ask her permission. When you're going to do something, treat it as a foregone conclusion. "So, what do you think about that? Is it ok if we take a vacation to Russia?" and words like this will slowly rank her down because she sees you as not leading. Instead, "Hey, I've got some money saved up, so let's go to Russia in two months" will show her who is making the decisions in the relationship and keep her in line. If she does protest or offer criticisms, do it anyway/go without her/laugh off her advice, anything but actually giving her any kind of credence. If she ends up being right about something, take her advice with a light, cocky grudge. I like to squint my eyes a little, lift my head up and look away from her, pause for a few seconds, exhale deeply, then concede her point... then either add my own idea on hers or order her to do something. For example, if she suggests I take a long sleeved shirt to town, I'll say, "All right. It needs to get some air." Or, I might say, "Yeah. Hey, I'll call thirty minutes before I come back, so make me some burritos." Every time you ask a woman permission for something, it's a tacit admission that she sits at the big kid's table... and she should never think that.
- You can offer her compliments, especially if she's making changes you like, but always follow up with how she can do more or do better. If you keep complimenting your girl, she'll become complacent and stay where she is. But if you say, "Nice waist. Way better than before. Keep going." It not only shows her that her old waist was unacceptable, but she still has changes to make.
- Be physically dominating. Every once in a while, grab her or get up in her business. I like to put my hand on her waist as she walks by every once in a while to stop her, then look sideways at her for a little bit. It's up to her how she responds (usually she giggles or smiles), but if she asks what I want, I use my other hand to finger tap my cheek twice to get a kiss. Get up behind her while she's cooking, only an inch or two away, then delay a few seconds before growling, "Love hamburgers, babe." Or grab a breast. Or both. When you pass her in a hallway, give her a butt a dominating, light swat or squeeze.
- Order her around. You can thank her and show appreciation for her actions so you can encourage her to do more of them, but don't use words like "please," "could" or "would." As a man, the most polite word you should use for your girl should me nothing stronger than "can." Compare the feeling between "Could you make me a sandwich? Thanks a lot!" to "Can I get a sandwich, babe?" Women love taking orders from strong men because it shows them who they're deferring to.
- Use fewer words than she does. If she gives you ten words describing her troubles at work, answer with five. If she says she loves you, answer "Yeah," or "Same." On that note, try to avoid telling her you love her, even if you do. I honestly don't think I've told my wife this for the last six to twelve months, but she's told me several dozen times. You want her chasing you, and being quieter is one way to get her to do that. If you ever tell her a long story or joke and she responds with a shorter answer, freeze her out and ignore her until she comes to talk to you again, tilting the balance of power back to you. It won't take long, trust me.
- Never show weakness. Never show fear. Never show any feeling besides confidence, irritation if she makes a mistake, or some other emotion of power. Weakness is to women what obesity is to men, sexually speaking.
- Don't respond to her nonsense with passive-aggressive copy-mockery. Before I stopped engaging with western people online, I used to see a lot of this in comments sections and videos where someone would repeat words of someone else, but change the words slightly to make the other look foolish. For example, one person might say, "You DO realize that guns can be used to protect children from home invading predators, right?" to which someone else would respond, "You DO realize that the police can help, right?" or "You DO realize that guns can be used to kill innocents, right?" This concept also applies to copying the actions of someone else to karmically punish them for what they've done. For example, if your wife burns the pizza she cooked but she lies that it tastes fine, then you would cook burned sandwiches the next night and say they tasted fine. This kind of catty nonsense gives your girl two impressions: first, that the two of you are equal, otherwise the man wouldn't be copying the woman in word or action. You and your girl are NOT equal. Second, it calls out the negative actions of your girl, which is good, but provides no sense of leadership to what she should do instead. In the pizza and sandwich example, a better move would be to cook the best meal you possibly could, serve it to your girl, then after she ate it, get right up in her business and say, "Tell me that was delicious" with a cocky smile, and she'll agree. If she says it wasn't, jokingly threated to kick her ass, then pick her up, throw her into bed, rip off her clothes and go at it. If the kids or someone else is around, still pick her up, but throw her on the couch and tickle her until she submits.
Rank A - Arguing
- Argues with her man about things every so often.
- Initiates sex rarely, and it's on once or twice a week.
- Cooks and offers massages, presents and other shows of love when asked, but sometimes refuses.
- Proactively thanks her man for what he does, but sometimes forgets.
- Makes some unilateral decisions.
- Makes some personal changes at her man's request.
Ranking up
Some men may find this kind of woman attractive, one of those "strong and independent" types that the media goes on and on about, but I personally find them draining. They will constantly second guess what you do, and even after you consistently prove that you know what you're doing, they'll be back time and again to complain about something else, which also puts them at risk to ranking down to Rank B, given enough leeway. A quick example from my vacation last month with my mom and sister:
Sister: What was that he tried to give you?
Me: Stickers. You can exchange them for free stuff, but I'm not interested.
Sister: Wait, but it's free stuff. Why don't you just take them home?
Me: It's basically exchanging $25 of purchases for $1 of candy. I don't want the food anyway and it's not worth it.
Mother: But maybe they'll change what they offer.
Me: They don't.
Mother: But it's free food. Just take them back with you. You're going to come back later anyway, right?
Me: I don't want the food, and it's a very slight save. It's all just a ploy to get me to buy more than I want right now so I can collect enough stickers to get something I don't much want anyway later on.
Sister: Are you sure?
Me: Yes. I'll save more money this way.
Sister: Ok...
(Ten minutes later)
Mother: Why did you close the window? It's stuffy in here.
To avoid this constant second guessing, I find Rank S women to be way, way more appealing to live with. If you have a Rank A on your hands and want to rank her up, you should always follow the advice given above in Rank S, with special focus put on points 2 and 5: never ask permission, and order her around. Flip the relationship and make it clear that you are calling the shots. Give this a few days, a few weeks maximum, and you'll have yourself a Rank S on deck.
Rank B - Babying
- Does not do as told most of the time.
- Initiates sex only if not asked for a while. Denies sex a lot, leaving it to once or twice a month.
- Begrudgingly helps out around the house when asked about half of the time.
- Condescends to her man and orders him around.
- Acts unilaterally with big decisions and doesn't trust much, if any, input from her man.
- Hardly ever changes.
Ranking up
Your girl has gotten this far because you haven't been acting like a man. If she has just started being like this, it's probably going to get worse in a few weeks or months because you are doing everything wrong, and you need to take my advice immediately. If she's been like this for a while and hasn't gotten worse, then you're doing some things right and others wrong, so there's much more hope for you.
Rank B women feel that your leadership isn't good enough to lead your relationship, and have started to take a more proactive role in guiding things between you. She takes on a motherly role to direct things in a way she thinks is better, but this directly contradicts her genetic code, which screams at her to submit to a powerful authority. As such, she treats you, her man, like a baby, because if you aren't her master, you are her child.
When you have a Rank B on your hands, you'll find that nothing you do is ever correct. You put the dishes away wrong, you ate your chicken incorrectly, you need to put on more clothes, you should tell your boss about your troubles, you need to exercise more, your friends are a bad influence, could you open the window that's right next to me, could you turn up the TV when the remote is right in my hands... a Rank B will make you feel like you're back in grade school again.
To rank this girl up, follow all of the advice mentioned above under Rank S, and especially the points mentioned in Rank A. She is testing your authority, and you have failed time and again to provide the leadership she wanted. You need to turn the tables on her, and you need to order her around EVERY SINGLE TIME she tries to baby you. When she asks you to close the door, and even if you're closer, answer, "You can do it." This not only gives her an order to follow, but the addition of the word "can" makes it like a challenge that she needs to accept to prove herself to you. If she refuses, it also gives you the easy response of, "What, you can't do it?" Then you can laugh at her and walk away to do something else, showing that you don't put yourself below her anymore.
Remember, she only gives you a hard time because you let her do it. I know taking back your balls and standing up to your wife feels strange and uncomfortable as hell the first time or two you do it, but that's what deprogramming the woman worshiping brainwashing that you received your entire life feels like. Keep this up, and your wife will rank up and you'll wonder how you ever bowed or scraped to her whims in the past when being a man feels so much more natural... for the both of you.
Rank C - Criticizing
- Flagrantly disrespects and flaunts the authority of her man.
- Never initiates sex, and frequently denies it for upwards of a season.
- Hardly ever shows love of any kind, and when she does, only under passive-aggressive protest.
- Criticizes her man for everything he does (even in public), always demands more, and never thanks him.
- Engages in any kind of behavior she wants, often contrary to what her man wants simply to be contrarian.
- Never changes.
Ranking up
Understand that your girl is Rank C because you let her get here. I understand that you probably weren't taught well by your absent/hangdog father, your ball-busting mother and your woman worshiping culture (I sure wasn't), but now that you've found this blog, you have no excuse. It's time to get your life back, and rank this Rank C woman up.
In all honesty, though, if things have gotten this bad, my advice might not even work and you should really consider breaking up or divorcing, but if you're married with children and you need to protect your little ones, go balls to the wall, do what I say and hope for the best: your children do not need to see their mother breaking you down like she does, or they'll likely grow up to do/receive the same thing.
As usual, you'll need to follow the Rank S advice above, but in this case, hold off on points 3, 4 and 5 for a little bit because you're dealing with a Rank C who doesn't trust your authority yet. Complimenting her will swell her head even further, even if you follow it with a dig. Trying to proactively touch her will probably provoke a negative physical response. Ordering her around will make her laugh at you. No, a Rank C needs to be improved at the base before you can do anything else. So what should you do?
First of all, immediately shut her out. Spend as much time as possible either away from the house, or with your kids, whichever is applicable. Give her one word answers to everything, leave the house to hang with friends or watch a movie without telling her where you're going, refuse anything and everything she tries to offer you, and avoid eye contact at all times. If she stands in front of the TV or something similar to force you to look at her, glare at her then order her to move. If she asks what's wrong, shake your head at her, snort derisively, whatever it takes to nonverbally show your displeasure, then disappear for a few hours. Do not ask for sex, and if she tries to initiate with you as a sort of apology (she's probably confused about what's going on and thinks sex will solve it), refuse her. "Not interested" is a good answer. Delete her text messages without reading them. Refuse her calls.
The purpose of this exercise is to shake up the comfortable little world she's built up where you hop to and do exactly what she wants, but even more importantly, for her mind to swirl with a thousand chaotic thoughts of what is going on in your relationship. "Is he cheating?" "Did I forget something?" "What happened?" You want this chaos to swirl around her mind for a few days or a week (any more than that, and she'll probably start cheating or preparing to leave you, if she hasn't done one or both of these already). Then, when it seems like she's at her breaking point, there's only one thing left to do.
Yell. Let her corner you somewhere, then turn the tables and put the utter fear of God into this woman who has disrespected, used and taken advantage of you for so long. Tell her about all the things she put you through, about every one of her failings as a human being. Do not try to meet her halfway by apologizing, even if you've made a mistake; just verbally trash her actions and character. Also, don't cuss more than necessary because you want her to fear the ideas behind your words, not necessarily the words themselves: wield your words like a scalpel to cut her metaphorical heart out, and leaving her a crying, apologizing mess of blubbering clay that is ready to be remolded into something beautiful. Take that chaos you created in her mind throughout the shutout, and prepare to shape and direct it into a better direction: one that you have chosen and you will lead better than she ever could.
When you're done, disengage and put her on freezeout for a while, prompting her to cook for you, initiate sex and otherwise chase you. For my wife, I went about six months before I started giving her compliments in addition to orders or cooking for her, because I knew then that she was to the side and below me again, and it was safe to offer niceties here and there. And for God's sake, do NOT forget to lead her now that you're back in charge: if you yell at her but just go back to the life where she called the shots, you'll be back in this position again in no time. Ever wonder why you had a father, a friend or someone else who kept getting back into it with their girl, fight after fight? THIS IS WHY.
One last note, though: if you live in a woman worshiping country that has passed domestic violence laws that translate "yelling" as "abuse," you can consider doing everything above except replace yelling with icy cold condescension. In fact, this may be more effective than yelling if you live with a naturally rebellious woman who fights everyone, but I've successfully ranked up my mother, sister and wife with this technique at different times, all three of whom are fighters to some degree, and not one of them has dared to return to Rank C. All things considered, if you live in a culture that will view you as the bad guy no matter what because you are the male, I again advise you to just break up with your Rank C girl and not make the same mistakes again with your new one. If you're married with children, though, this is what you need to do to get your life, and the lives of your family, back on track.
Rank D - Dangerous
- Violently disrespects and flaunts the authority of her man.
- Frequently denies sex and only initiates as a show of power and control.
- Never shows love of any kind.
- Physically assaults her man when her ridiculous requirements are not met.
- Flaunts all authority and does anything she pleases.
- Never changes.
Ranking up
You are in mortal danger living with this woman. Perhaps this is your fault because she started at Rank A or B, but through your constant refusals to lead or deal with your girl's nonsense, it's fallen to this point. Perhaps another man abdicated his duties (her father or ex), and now you're dealing with the fallout. In any event, there is only one way to rank up a Rank D woman, and it's not therapy or religion: she will eventually relapse, I promise you. The answer to a Rank D is a haymaker.
Don't do it. If you beat your Rank D girl into submission to protect yourself and bring her back from the edge, you will be punished for it. If it's not her ex, it will be her brother, her uncle, her father, the police, a judge, prison inmates, or someone else. For defending yourself, you will be jailed, beaten, or even killed. Your only answer to a Rank D woman is to get the hell out of there, or if you are married with kids, record her abuse, then get the hell out of there. Understand?
Men pre-1965 in America knew that striking a woman is the quickest way to rank her up, and the only way to fix her when she's fallen this far. You might have seen these kind of premeditated attacks in the media on classic TV shows or documentaries. But many of those men also used physical violence as a way to control their women in cases where it wasn't necessary at all, where any of the above techniques for Rank C, B and A women would have worked just as fine. The major point is, there is almost never a good reason to strike a woman, and even when there is, you will pay for it as a man, no matter who the aggressor was. So just don't do it, and run. Run hard, run now, run silent, run deep, run like Mexican water through a first-time tourist, but the key word here is "run."
Really, if my ranking system of women holds any kind of water, it would account for the cycle of abuse that women undergo with violent boyfriends or husbands that they stay with. A powerful, violent man gets with a woman at Rank S or A who respects his confidence and strength, but as time goes on, she starts to dig more and more at him and his actions by s*** testing him through criticism, disrespect and other nonsense, ranking down to Rank B, C or D. The violent man, either raised by another violent man or with no good father in his life to give him proper techniques for controlling women, beats the daylights out of her. She immediately ranks back up to Rank S to follow this powerful man who "loves" and "protects" her, and he begins the process of reconciliation where he apologizes for what he did, taking better care of her. She immediately loses respect for this supplicating woman worshiper, ranks back down, and the process begins anew.
I know this might be a lot to take in, and when I was reading up on information for men about troubles like this, I felt overwhelmed as well. But to help you where I had less guidance, let me assure you that a change in mindset is the absolute most important thing. Just by coming to this blog and reading this far, you've at least shown an inquisitiveness to what may be going on in your relationship with your girl, and accepting that you might have a problem is the first step. Having some self-respect, taking back your balls and standing up to the mini tyrant in your house will come next, and in each case, your thought processes will change to provide you the words and actions needed to keep your girl in line. You don't need to follow each of the examples I provided to the letter; they will come naturally to you because of your new mindset. I've just provided basic blueprints and suggestions.
I know this is true because I read blogs on dealing with women and how to answer this or that text, or respond to this or that s*** test when chasing girls, and the author would provide sample answers on how to make her like you better. When I first started reading in 2012 while I was awakening to what it meant to be a man, I would struggle to come up with an answer for several seconds, and it would always come out wrong or deferential. Just a year after I started making changes in my life and marriage, I can now pick nearly perfect answers (sometimes word for word, based on what the author wrote as a possible answer) in less than two seconds. It's all about the mindset.
The best one I've found in Chateau Heartiste by Roissy. If the Don't Marry blog beat me over the head with the realities of how I was completely wrong about women and relationships, then Roissy crucified, disemboweled and dismembered my woman worshiping carcass with his shiv, leaving me to slowly put myself back together like the T-1000.
I've grown stronger for it, and you can too.
Sunday, March 6, 2016
Monday, February 15, 2016
All the same
I've heard it said that women have different operating systems: some are Windows XP, others DOS, a few Linux... but every single one of them operates on the exact same BIOS. It seems clear after a short vacation with my American family, that evidence piles in favor of this saying.
A few weeks ago I went to the airport to pick up not only my mother, but my sister as well. In the beginning I thought things were going to be relaxing and fun as I showed the two around and they got to see my family here, but that wasn't the case at all. In the very beginning there was trouble with the airport pickup because I went to the wrong area, so I was sending IMs back and forth with my sister who was getting increasingly snippy while she was waiting past the tenth minute.
When I got to them, fifteen minutes after I promised, my sister came to hug me and I picked her up, carrying her towards my mother so there would be a big bear hug. And there began the first complaint: "Why didn't you hug me first and say hello before going to mom?" my sister asked.
And it was all downhill from there. From that moment on and for days onward, it was criticism after complaint after problem from her:
"Why do you keep walking around so fast? Stop rushing us and let us shop."
"Why are you sitting at a table with four seats if there are five of us? I can't sit anywhere."
"Yeah, it was five blocks away. You just said it was three, so you're probably lost again."
"It's not 12:00. It's 11:55."
"Stop wearing light clothes."
"Why are you wearing heavy clothes? It's too hot."
If these things sound like sibling teasing to you, imagine a head shaking, stone-faced, sighing, snarking girl with a constant look of contempt on her face saying them. These things were meant to criticize, not make fun.
Also, if this sounds familiar, it's probably because you read the Fights post where my wife was doing the exact same thing over several months, constantly criticizing and babying everything I did until I finally put a stop to it. And you probably also know that this is a woman's constant attempt to probe the men in her life for weakness to see if they need to be discarded, or abused to strength (s*** testing).
The absolute worst criticism was when my son was putting on Batman socks to go outside and he said Batman was for boys, and I heard my sister speak up with that "boys and girls are the same" garbage that led me to being a punching bag for women throughout my life.
That thinking led me to not understanding the psychological differences between men and women, from the seventeen years of brainwashing from my single mother that led me to worship women, to the fruitless four year search for a girlfriend where I wasted months of my life wooing women with kindness rather than strength, to the three years of emotional abuse with my wife because I never put a stop to her nonsense until 2012.
So when she straight up said my son was a sexist, I said, "Good."
I didn't look at her, but I heard her sputter and stammer, trying to figure out what I meant and asking for clarification, but I ignored her. As we were going out, though, she pushed a hand into my chest and didn't move, expecting some sort of answer. I hmphed, pushed her hand to the side, then walked outside. For a few days after that, she was on her best behavior and didn't ask again what I meant.
I could have hit her with everything I had learned about female nature and why I was raising my son to understand what makes women tick, but knowing that she has a direct line to my wife, I didn't want that knowledge to spread from my sister to her. I don't think my wife would take this knowledge and use it against me or our son, but it's better safe than sorry. I'd rather have my sister think less of me (though by passing her s*** test, it's ironically the other way around) than risk my son's welfare by letting any of this knowledge slip into the wrong hands.
It didn't stop there either, because later on, the five of us went to the main city to go eat and look around, and I could feel my sister's eyes on me every second of the trip, waiting to see me make a mistake so she could point it out and criticize again. After an entire day of this where I ignored her or reframed to tell her I did what I wanted, I knew she was out of control, so I made one final action.
When we waited for the bus to take us home, the driver said there were only five seats left, so he allowed two in front of us and three behind to go first, and our party of five could catch the next. My sister started whining and complaining about the numbers, fairness, lines and such. I told her the next bus would come in five or ten minutes, she continued to moan...
Then I looked her straight in the eyes and barked, "RELAX!"
She stopped immediately, her jaw worked but no sound came out, and I continued to glare. After I let out a dismissive, quiet, bull-like snort and looked away, I saw her still shaking her head in disbelief and jawing quietly in the reflection of the door, like she had never had someone talk to her like that before.
And again, for the next few days, she was calm and respectful again. She continued to probe weakly after that, but I swatted her aside with reframes and brash confidence which shut her up for hours after each attempt.
Her final probe came not too long ago, when she was telling me about how amazing the new Star Wars movie was. I like the series, especially the games in the Expanded Universe and even the prequels despite their flaws, but I had no interest in the new one when I saw that not only had George Lucas signed the rights away to Disney, and not only had the entire EU been declared non-canon, but that at least one of its most outspoken producers was a feminist and at least one of the writer/directors was a social justice enthusiast.
I thought that the movie would end up pretty predictable as a result, and so I never saw it, but my sister did and she loved it. I didn't want to have it out with her so I just commented that it was great she liked it, Star Wars is cool, generic stuff like that.
But she kept asking and asking if I had seen it, when would I see it, why wouldn't I see it, so I finally let her know. I didn't mention how the social justice part would lead all white males to being either ineffectual, hardly in the movie, dead or evil, while everyone else was as close to noblehearted and wonderful as possible (predictable and boring). I instead focused on the Jedi girl, by asking her if the character was every feminist hero I've ever seen:
- Does she succeed at something typically masculine in a fraction of the time that men needed (starship repair, bowcaster shooting, force use, lightsaber ability, etc...) to show that women are more capable than men at their own work?
- Does she make it clear in some form or another that she dontneednoman (refusing a hand up after she's fallen, pushing away a man trying to hug her or comfort her, straight up saying something about girl power)?
- At least once during the movie, does she manhandle at least three men much larger than her at the same time while hardly breaking a sweat?
- Does everyone in the movie, except the bad guys, spend inordinate amounts of time talking about how wonderful, special, intelligent, strong or independent she is?
- If she has a weakness, is it either that she lacks confidence (shy, introverted) or that she has too much confidence (condescending, bitchy), but otherwise, she's near perfect?
- Does she succeed at almost every task without much effort, or just straight up fail to fail?
I also asked if the movie was a complete rehash of Episode 4, kind of like the Star Trek movie by the same director which borrowed a bunch of stuff already done in previous episodes and movies. I described the original story, and she said no, the new Star Wars was completely different from the 1977 one. She also asked if I would feel the same about the hero if she were a man (changing the subject while not directly conceding the point that I was right, typical of a western person), and I said no, because it shows a lack of friendship, brotherhood and believability. It's the same reason I didn't like Royce from Predators, but I liked Dutch in Predator.
I think there was a prediction or two I got wrong, but for most of them, I was on the money. My sister tried to lie to me with some pathetically obvious body language (not voicing her nos, shoulders in, head tilted to the side with eyes tilted up), but I didn't call her out on it. It's just a movie, after all, and if some people find inspiration from it, I'm happy for them.
So naturally, after lying and ignoring the points I made about the movie being too predictable and boring for me, she stated that I hate women. I disengaged from the conversation immediately.
At that moment, I was glad that the top post of this blog contains the big six logical fallacies that westerners always toss around with viewpoints they can't disprove so they look foolish when they try in my comments section. And I was also glad that I decided to stop reading western news, perusing western comments sections and proactively engaging with western people, because this is what happens nearly every time with westerners who disagree, but can't disprove.
So here we are, vacation coming to a close and views confirmed once again: from family members to co-workers, from bosses to students, from girls I asked out and girls I dated to the girl I married, it's the same BIOS that seeks power before all else. My son will know these truths, to understand them and act accordingly.
Growing up being raised by a western woman like this, it's no wonder I was so ill-prepared for dealing with not only women, but men as well. I accepted the lies that people, and especially women, respect kindness and compassion above all else, and that led to decades of wasted life.
Women are smarter than you, more compassionate than you. You need to control yourself because nobody likes a brute. Be good, and love and respect will come your way, too.
But now that I know the truth of women, I just feel sad for girls in the west. They've been dealt a disservice by a post World War 2 culture that tells them how near perfect they are and how their constant dissatisfaction with their lives, with culture, with their families and country, should be constantly voiced and pointed at everyone but themselves. Western culture has created an entire population of narcissistic, entitled, overly critical and eternally devouring people that is never sated by any of the thousands of people and things they hork down.
I was never given a free pass by anybody I have ever known because I am a man: not my family, not my friends, not teachers, strangers or anyone else I've ever been in contact with. And I'm glad this is the case: if I had had my weakness coddled as a younger man, I never would have pulled myself up by my bootstraps as I did in college to go from fat, depressed loser to slim, confident man those many years ago. If I had had everyone kissing my butt, telling me how perfect I was and how nothing was my fault and how I should blame everyone but myself, I would still be that pathetic waste of space slimeball that I used to be because in my mind, I would have had no reason to change.
I used to watch out for my sister two decades ago because her father passed too soon and, like any young girl or boy, she needed to have a father figure in her life. I didn't know it at the time because I was still that depressed loser, that I would end up having any kind of influence over her as she came to me, day after day, to play video games and watch TV. By the time I realized what effect I had had on her life through spending time with her, calling her out on her nonsense and providing a role model (of sorts) for her, it was too late. By that point, I was removed from her life for several years while I was away at college, and by the time I returned home to save some money before going abroad, my sister had been poisoned by the toxicity of western culture. Foulmouthed, condescending, bratty, selfish, illogical, impatient, entitled... she was the entire ball of wax, and a perfect example of what happens when women aren't properly guided by both family and culture to tamp down that kind of behavior.
And though it took western culture over two decades to turn her into this jerk, it took just three or so moments of unrepentant a**hole from me to shut down my sister and return her to the place that her genes cried out for her to be: to the side and below a man who wishes what is best for her. Such small actions to fix such a big problem that only continues because people fear those little changes.
God help my sister's boyfriend if he doesn't understand what I do about female nature, because he doesn't just experience what I did for a few weeks: he gets it every hour of every day they are together.
A few weeks ago I went to the airport to pick up not only my mother, but my sister as well. In the beginning I thought things were going to be relaxing and fun as I showed the two around and they got to see my family here, but that wasn't the case at all. In the very beginning there was trouble with the airport pickup because I went to the wrong area, so I was sending IMs back and forth with my sister who was getting increasingly snippy while she was waiting past the tenth minute.
When I got to them, fifteen minutes after I promised, my sister came to hug me and I picked her up, carrying her towards my mother so there would be a big bear hug. And there began the first complaint: "Why didn't you hug me first and say hello before going to mom?" my sister asked.
And it was all downhill from there. From that moment on and for days onward, it was criticism after complaint after problem from her:
"Why do you keep walking around so fast? Stop rushing us and let us shop."
"Why are you sitting at a table with four seats if there are five of us? I can't sit anywhere."
"Yeah, it was five blocks away. You just said it was three, so you're probably lost again."
"It's not 12:00. It's 11:55."
"Stop wearing light clothes."
"Why are you wearing heavy clothes? It's too hot."
If these things sound like sibling teasing to you, imagine a head shaking, stone-faced, sighing, snarking girl with a constant look of contempt on her face saying them. These things were meant to criticize, not make fun.
Also, if this sounds familiar, it's probably because you read the Fights post where my wife was doing the exact same thing over several months, constantly criticizing and babying everything I did until I finally put a stop to it. And you probably also know that this is a woman's constant attempt to probe the men in her life for weakness to see if they need to be discarded, or abused to strength (s*** testing).
The absolute worst criticism was when my son was putting on Batman socks to go outside and he said Batman was for boys, and I heard my sister speak up with that "boys and girls are the same" garbage that led me to being a punching bag for women throughout my life.
That thinking led me to not understanding the psychological differences between men and women, from the seventeen years of brainwashing from my single mother that led me to worship women, to the fruitless four year search for a girlfriend where I wasted months of my life wooing women with kindness rather than strength, to the three years of emotional abuse with my wife because I never put a stop to her nonsense until 2012.
So when she straight up said my son was a sexist, I said, "Good."
I didn't look at her, but I heard her sputter and stammer, trying to figure out what I meant and asking for clarification, but I ignored her. As we were going out, though, she pushed a hand into my chest and didn't move, expecting some sort of answer. I hmphed, pushed her hand to the side, then walked outside. For a few days after that, she was on her best behavior and didn't ask again what I meant.
I could have hit her with everything I had learned about female nature and why I was raising my son to understand what makes women tick, but knowing that she has a direct line to my wife, I didn't want that knowledge to spread from my sister to her. I don't think my wife would take this knowledge and use it against me or our son, but it's better safe than sorry. I'd rather have my sister think less of me (though by passing her s*** test, it's ironically the other way around) than risk my son's welfare by letting any of this knowledge slip into the wrong hands.
It didn't stop there either, because later on, the five of us went to the main city to go eat and look around, and I could feel my sister's eyes on me every second of the trip, waiting to see me make a mistake so she could point it out and criticize again. After an entire day of this where I ignored her or reframed to tell her I did what I wanted, I knew she was out of control, so I made one final action.
When we waited for the bus to take us home, the driver said there were only five seats left, so he allowed two in front of us and three behind to go first, and our party of five could catch the next. My sister started whining and complaining about the numbers, fairness, lines and such. I told her the next bus would come in five or ten minutes, she continued to moan...
Then I looked her straight in the eyes and barked, "RELAX!"
She stopped immediately, her jaw worked but no sound came out, and I continued to glare. After I let out a dismissive, quiet, bull-like snort and looked away, I saw her still shaking her head in disbelief and jawing quietly in the reflection of the door, like she had never had someone talk to her like that before.
And again, for the next few days, she was calm and respectful again. She continued to probe weakly after that, but I swatted her aside with reframes and brash confidence which shut her up for hours after each attempt.
Her final probe came not too long ago, when she was telling me about how amazing the new Star Wars movie was. I like the series, especially the games in the Expanded Universe and even the prequels despite their flaws, but I had no interest in the new one when I saw that not only had George Lucas signed the rights away to Disney, and not only had the entire EU been declared non-canon, but that at least one of its most outspoken producers was a feminist and at least one of the writer/directors was a social justice enthusiast.
I thought that the movie would end up pretty predictable as a result, and so I never saw it, but my sister did and she loved it. I didn't want to have it out with her so I just commented that it was great she liked it, Star Wars is cool, generic stuff like that.
But she kept asking and asking if I had seen it, when would I see it, why wouldn't I see it, so I finally let her know. I didn't mention how the social justice part would lead all white males to being either ineffectual, hardly in the movie, dead or evil, while everyone else was as close to noblehearted and wonderful as possible (predictable and boring). I instead focused on the Jedi girl, by asking her if the character was every feminist hero I've ever seen:
- Does she succeed at something typically masculine in a fraction of the time that men needed (starship repair, bowcaster shooting, force use, lightsaber ability, etc...) to show that women are more capable than men at their own work?
- Does she make it clear in some form or another that she dontneednoman (refusing a hand up after she's fallen, pushing away a man trying to hug her or comfort her, straight up saying something about girl power)?
- At least once during the movie, does she manhandle at least three men much larger than her at the same time while hardly breaking a sweat?
- Does everyone in the movie, except the bad guys, spend inordinate amounts of time talking about how wonderful, special, intelligent, strong or independent she is?
- If she has a weakness, is it either that she lacks confidence (shy, introverted) or that she has too much confidence (condescending, bitchy), but otherwise, she's near perfect?
- Does she succeed at almost every task without much effort, or just straight up fail to fail?
I also asked if the movie was a complete rehash of Episode 4, kind of like the Star Trek movie by the same director which borrowed a bunch of stuff already done in previous episodes and movies. I described the original story, and she said no, the new Star Wars was completely different from the 1977 one. She also asked if I would feel the same about the hero if she were a man (changing the subject while not directly conceding the point that I was right, typical of a western person), and I said no, because it shows a lack of friendship, brotherhood and believability. It's the same reason I didn't like Royce from Predators, but I liked Dutch in Predator.
I think there was a prediction or two I got wrong, but for most of them, I was on the money. My sister tried to lie to me with some pathetically obvious body language (not voicing her nos, shoulders in, head tilted to the side with eyes tilted up), but I didn't call her out on it. It's just a movie, after all, and if some people find inspiration from it, I'm happy for them.
So naturally, after lying and ignoring the points I made about the movie being too predictable and boring for me, she stated that I hate women. I disengaged from the conversation immediately.
At that moment, I was glad that the top post of this blog contains the big six logical fallacies that westerners always toss around with viewpoints they can't disprove so they look foolish when they try in my comments section. And I was also glad that I decided to stop reading western news, perusing western comments sections and proactively engaging with western people, because this is what happens nearly every time with westerners who disagree, but can't disprove.
So here we are, vacation coming to a close and views confirmed once again: from family members to co-workers, from bosses to students, from girls I asked out and girls I dated to the girl I married, it's the same BIOS that seeks power before all else. My son will know these truths, to understand them and act accordingly.
Growing up being raised by a western woman like this, it's no wonder I was so ill-prepared for dealing with not only women, but men as well. I accepted the lies that people, and especially women, respect kindness and compassion above all else, and that led to decades of wasted life.
Women are smarter than you, more compassionate than you. You need to control yourself because nobody likes a brute. Be good, and love and respect will come your way, too.
But now that I know the truth of women, I just feel sad for girls in the west. They've been dealt a disservice by a post World War 2 culture that tells them how near perfect they are and how their constant dissatisfaction with their lives, with culture, with their families and country, should be constantly voiced and pointed at everyone but themselves. Western culture has created an entire population of narcissistic, entitled, overly critical and eternally devouring people that is never sated by any of the thousands of people and things they hork down.
I was never given a free pass by anybody I have ever known because I am a man: not my family, not my friends, not teachers, strangers or anyone else I've ever been in contact with. And I'm glad this is the case: if I had had my weakness coddled as a younger man, I never would have pulled myself up by my bootstraps as I did in college to go from fat, depressed loser to slim, confident man those many years ago. If I had had everyone kissing my butt, telling me how perfect I was and how nothing was my fault and how I should blame everyone but myself, I would still be that pathetic waste of space slimeball that I used to be because in my mind, I would have had no reason to change.
I used to watch out for my sister two decades ago because her father passed too soon and, like any young girl or boy, she needed to have a father figure in her life. I didn't know it at the time because I was still that depressed loser, that I would end up having any kind of influence over her as she came to me, day after day, to play video games and watch TV. By the time I realized what effect I had had on her life through spending time with her, calling her out on her nonsense and providing a role model (of sorts) for her, it was too late. By that point, I was removed from her life for several years while I was away at college, and by the time I returned home to save some money before going abroad, my sister had been poisoned by the toxicity of western culture. Foulmouthed, condescending, bratty, selfish, illogical, impatient, entitled... she was the entire ball of wax, and a perfect example of what happens when women aren't properly guided by both family and culture to tamp down that kind of behavior.
And though it took western culture over two decades to turn her into this jerk, it took just three or so moments of unrepentant a**hole from me to shut down my sister and return her to the place that her genes cried out for her to be: to the side and below a man who wishes what is best for her. Such small actions to fix such a big problem that only continues because people fear those little changes.
God help my sister's boyfriend if he doesn't understand what I do about female nature, because he doesn't just experience what I did for a few weeks: he gets it every hour of every day they are together.
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Another whole lot of nothing
Sometimes I feel guilty that I'm not able to update my blog here because of the utter lack of things going on, but at the same time, I'm completely relieved because that means my wife is not acting up or causing trouble so there's not much to discuss about her or my life.
For the past two months, I've done little else than work. My schedule has picked up at my job and I work from basically 9:00 in the morning until 11:00 at night four days out of the week, with only two partial work days and Sunday leaving me time to myself and time with my son. I've poured almost half of what my son needs for his college payments into his bank account, and at this rate I can finish it up in the next two or three years. After that, I only have to save up a basic nest egg to begin my travels abroad again because I plan on working wherever I live.
I haven't seen my wife's mother in many months (whether this was her or my wife's idea, I don't know, but it's certainly a weight off my back).
Finally, my sex life is back on track with no refusals in a year or two, but there have been close calls where my wife whined to be too tired. In those moments, I just picked her up and threw her on the other bed to get started and she didn't whine much longer. She hasn't started any fights with me either, but there was one moment where she copied my advice to married men about fighting with your wife: don't back down, and don't allow her to change the subject until she admits she's wrong. A few days ago, I said that she was starting to refuse sex again to tease her.
By the way, just to repeat, never show weakness or discuss issues in your marriage with your wife (or any woman, for that matter), like those charlatans and fools who claim this is the key to a healthy relationship with women. Girls and women take it as a sign of weakness and use it as an excuse to bully you more. Just make the change you want, and tell her to stuff it if she doesn't like it.
My wife took me seriously and said I was wrong. I talked about something else, then she said, "Tell me you're wrong." I thought it was hilarious that she was aping me so directly, but I kept my cool and gave her a BS response of "Mistakes were made." Then I laughed at her, and she went back to sleep. I easily woke her up for sex later, but if she had refused me then, I was very proud to feel that if she had done so, I would have brought back the Iceman where I ignore and condescend to her for a few months until she understands who the boss in this relationship is again. Sex is a deserved distraction to me, but if I need to put my wife down again for her bad behavior, I can go camel for as long as I need like I did in those many posts at the end of 2013.
But anyway, there's the lack of news update. I was happy to see that I only have 4247 days left on my counter until time is up, and it's time to live again. I haven't mentioned it before, but my plan after my son is off is to first travel America with my wife for a year seeing the natural beauty the land has to offer, then I'll pick two countries that I want to live in to go to. Once that's finished, I'll assign each as heads or tails, flip a coin, then commit myself to live there for the following year before repeating the coin process again. Maybe I'll make a Youtube video of me doing that as a farewell post to this blog, but that's over a decade into the future, so I probably shouldn't be getting ahead of myself. To live a life of freedom, up to chance, with only the basics of safety and sustenance planned for: that is my dream.
For the past two months, I've done little else than work. My schedule has picked up at my job and I work from basically 9:00 in the morning until 11:00 at night four days out of the week, with only two partial work days and Sunday leaving me time to myself and time with my son. I've poured almost half of what my son needs for his college payments into his bank account, and at this rate I can finish it up in the next two or three years. After that, I only have to save up a basic nest egg to begin my travels abroad again because I plan on working wherever I live.
I haven't seen my wife's mother in many months (whether this was her or my wife's idea, I don't know, but it's certainly a weight off my back).
Finally, my sex life is back on track with no refusals in a year or two, but there have been close calls where my wife whined to be too tired. In those moments, I just picked her up and threw her on the other bed to get started and she didn't whine much longer. She hasn't started any fights with me either, but there was one moment where she copied my advice to married men about fighting with your wife: don't back down, and don't allow her to change the subject until she admits she's wrong. A few days ago, I said that she was starting to refuse sex again to tease her.
By the way, just to repeat, never show weakness or discuss issues in your marriage with your wife (or any woman, for that matter), like those charlatans and fools who claim this is the key to a healthy relationship with women. Girls and women take it as a sign of weakness and use it as an excuse to bully you more. Just make the change you want, and tell her to stuff it if she doesn't like it.
My wife took me seriously and said I was wrong. I talked about something else, then she said, "Tell me you're wrong." I thought it was hilarious that she was aping me so directly, but I kept my cool and gave her a BS response of "Mistakes were made." Then I laughed at her, and she went back to sleep. I easily woke her up for sex later, but if she had refused me then, I was very proud to feel that if she had done so, I would have brought back the Iceman where I ignore and condescend to her for a few months until she understands who the boss in this relationship is again. Sex is a deserved distraction to me, but if I need to put my wife down again for her bad behavior, I can go camel for as long as I need like I did in those many posts at the end of 2013.
But anyway, there's the lack of news update. I was happy to see that I only have 4247 days left on my counter until time is up, and it's time to live again. I haven't mentioned it before, but my plan after my son is off is to first travel America with my wife for a year seeing the natural beauty the land has to offer, then I'll pick two countries that I want to live in to go to. Once that's finished, I'll assign each as heads or tails, flip a coin, then commit myself to live there for the following year before repeating the coin process again. Maybe I'll make a Youtube video of me doing that as a farewell post to this blog, but that's over a decade into the future, so I probably shouldn't be getting ahead of myself. To live a life of freedom, up to chance, with only the basics of safety and sustenance planned for: that is my dream.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
Marriage done right
I was traveling the city with my son yesterday trying to find the temple that I went to next to a river. Because of that, my son and I have been walking every river we can find next to train stops looking for that place so I can see it again and share it with him. To motivate him, I told him it's a magic temple and he can make a wish, and he told me he wants his school to blow up.
While walking about, I was thinking about how I hadn't updated the blog because nothing happened in the last month, and realized that that is pretty much what most "successful" marriage are: ones where nothing happens.
And that's really sad. A successful businessman makes money and uses that money to furnish himself a free and comfortable life. A successful traveler learns languages, sees sights, has new experiences and broadens his horizons. A successful athlete pushes himself to the physical and mental limit and shows his prowess as a runner, thrower, fighter... But a successful marriage with children, more often than not, is one where a steady routine of awaken, work, return, sleep is in effect.
As a single man, I climbed mountains, I had untimed beach trips with my friends, I found my spirit on bad dates, I fended off unwanted lovers and I felt the exciting fear of being on my own, all because I had freedom. Today, while I can still enjoy time with my son, my life is utterly limited. I can't go as far, I can't stay out as long, I can't spend as much: that's life for a married man.
Speaking of my wife, I've been keeping her to the side and below me as usual. About a week or two ago, I asked her a question while she was looking at her phone. When she didn't answer, I lightly punched her butt. She looked up with irritation and knit eyebrows and demanded, "What?!" I repeated my question, then while she answered, I just smirked and walked away. Didn't matter if I was in the wrong, I wasn't going to apologize to a woman because I know the kind of shrieking that leads to. She was practically grovelling the next day when she offered me food, exactly as I expected of her.
She also continues to badmouth American women, giggle like a schoolgirl when I occasionally compliment her and laugh uproariously at all of my dumb jokes. Men at that awesome Don't Marry site, you were right all along.
There really isn't much else going on; like I said, marriage is a whole bunch of nothing where not a whole lot happens, and one day bleeds into the next in a giant slurry. I'm trying to spend as much time with my son as I can so I can teach him not to accept a life of domesticity and to instead live a life of freedom, and keeping my wife in line while I reward her intermittently for her dutifulness. I wonder if I'll feel a huge weight lift off of my shoulders like I did in my vacation in 2012? I'll never forget that feeling of momentary freedom, and I hope I have it again when I'm finally free to go.
While walking about, I was thinking about how I hadn't updated the blog because nothing happened in the last month, and realized that that is pretty much what most "successful" marriage are: ones where nothing happens.
And that's really sad. A successful businessman makes money and uses that money to furnish himself a free and comfortable life. A successful traveler learns languages, sees sights, has new experiences and broadens his horizons. A successful athlete pushes himself to the physical and mental limit and shows his prowess as a runner, thrower, fighter... But a successful marriage with children, more often than not, is one where a steady routine of awaken, work, return, sleep is in effect.
As a single man, I climbed mountains, I had untimed beach trips with my friends, I found my spirit on bad dates, I fended off unwanted lovers and I felt the exciting fear of being on my own, all because I had freedom. Today, while I can still enjoy time with my son, my life is utterly limited. I can't go as far, I can't stay out as long, I can't spend as much: that's life for a married man.
Speaking of my wife, I've been keeping her to the side and below me as usual. About a week or two ago, I asked her a question while she was looking at her phone. When she didn't answer, I lightly punched her butt. She looked up with irritation and knit eyebrows and demanded, "What?!" I repeated my question, then while she answered, I just smirked and walked away. Didn't matter if I was in the wrong, I wasn't going to apologize to a woman because I know the kind of shrieking that leads to. She was practically grovelling the next day when she offered me food, exactly as I expected of her.
She also continues to badmouth American women, giggle like a schoolgirl when I occasionally compliment her and laugh uproariously at all of my dumb jokes. Men at that awesome Don't Marry site, you were right all along.
There really isn't much else going on; like I said, marriage is a whole bunch of nothing where not a whole lot happens, and one day bleeds into the next in a giant slurry. I'm trying to spend as much time with my son as I can so I can teach him not to accept a life of domesticity and to instead live a life of freedom, and keeping my wife in line while I reward her intermittently for her dutifulness. I wonder if I'll feel a huge weight lift off of my shoulders like I did in my vacation in 2012? I'll never forget that feeling of momentary freedom, and I hope I have it again when I'm finally free to go.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Training my wife
Not much has happened in the last month, as time speeds ever quicker towards the day of my emancipation in 4340 days. I did, however, have an insight into what goes into raising a wife. Things were a roller coaster between us when I used to defer to her, and went roughly like this:
2007-2008 - Not pregnant girlfriend submitted to me and rarely caused trouble, afraid I would leave her. Things went great.
2008-2010 - Pregnant girlfriend and wife/mother of our child submitted to me and rarely caused trouble, afraid I would leave her. Things were boring.
2010-2012 - Wife/mother of our child s*** tested me with a big fight in America, I submitted, and she spent the next two years an absolute shrew. Things were hell.
2012-2013 - I stopped begging for sex, then turned on my wife and yelled at her or ignored her for a solid year. Things were boring.
2013-Today - Wife/mother of our child submits to me and rarely causes trouble. Things are boring.
Since the day I yelled like a beast at my wife three years ago, things have improved a lot, but I think a lot of the improvements since were very automatic as I took on my natural role as a man and a leader of a household, rather than the androgynous beta loser that I let myself become and the browbeatings that came with it, as the media and my mother encouraged a man like me to accept. In this post, I'd like to discuss some of the things I did without realizing it to potentially help any other unfortunately married men out there to possibly find peace in their households. Please don't take this post as an invitation to accept the risks of marriage as long as you follow my ideas; I remain firmly against marriage for any man who has dreams in his life or who doesn't have kids, and hope only those men who are currently and unhappily married to find potential advice that they can use.
A few months after the huge blowup I had at my wife, we were watching some program on TV about a woman with financial troubles. My wife was easily suckered in by her sob story, but I wasn't buying any of it. This supposedly poor woman (an American at that, a citizen of one of the richest nations on the planet) apparently was having troubles making ends meet, and wanted the government to step in and help her. But one look around this woman's life was enough for me to cry bull:
- She was easily fifty pounds overweight, maybe more, showing that she had more than enough money for food.
- She lived alone in an apartment that could have housed one or two more people, easily.
- She had a cat, which she had to provide medicine, litter, food and more for.
- She had a computer, a phone and a TV, all of which no doubt connected to the internet, cable and/or satellite.
- She had a huge bed that she could have easily sold.
- She had a huge collection of clothes, especially shoes.
- She lived in, or very close to, New York.
- The apartment was well furnished with things she either didn't need to buy, or could have possibly sold.
When I pointed out all of these things, my wife got quiet. A few minutes later, she suddenly agreed with me and praised me for how observant and smart I was to notice these things.
Over the next two years, every time we watched American women do something ridiculous, selfish or disgusting (divorcing four times, refusing to shave, ballooning to four times a healthy weight, swearing that they could see ghosts in their new houses as an excuse to move out of a place they didn't like, getting piercings or ridiculous haircuts, cussing like sailors or what have you), I would point it out. Every single time. In addition, I would tell my wife how much better the women of this country were (but NEVER tell her that she was specifically better, as that might have led to her becoming an arrogant harpy again).
As a result of this, my wife has, for the past year or so, constantly compared herself to the women she sees on TV from America in two ways: first, she tells me how nasty the American women she sees are. Second, she constantly tries to prove herself to me by asking how much better she is than before, and how much better she is than American women. I offer positive reinforcement every time, but I always couple it with how she can still improve.
Not only this, but I have made it clear about the things I expect from her as I have standards for her, as well. She needs to maintain a decent weight, she needs to shave, she shouldn't feel comfortable enough to pass gas when I'm around, and she needs to keep a clean house. She now eagerly improves herself both to reach this ideal image I have of her as a wife, and as the antithesis of the American women that nauseate me.
I don't know if this information will help you, unhappily married reader, to make your life more purgatorious than hellacious, but perhaps it will. Once you've established dominance over your wife and she happily submits to you, try giving her something to shoot for, and another thing to strain against. I know it's like training an animal, but if your wife is as big a monster as mine used to be, you may have no other choice if you need to remain married for your children.
2007-2008 - Not pregnant girlfriend submitted to me and rarely caused trouble, afraid I would leave her. Things went great.
2008-2010 - Pregnant girlfriend and wife/mother of our child submitted to me and rarely caused trouble, afraid I would leave her. Things were boring.
2010-2012 - Wife/mother of our child s*** tested me with a big fight in America, I submitted, and she spent the next two years an absolute shrew. Things were hell.
2012-2013 - I stopped begging for sex, then turned on my wife and yelled at her or ignored her for a solid year. Things were boring.
2013-Today - Wife/mother of our child submits to me and rarely causes trouble. Things are boring.
Since the day I yelled like a beast at my wife three years ago, things have improved a lot, but I think a lot of the improvements since were very automatic as I took on my natural role as a man and a leader of a household, rather than the androgynous beta loser that I let myself become and the browbeatings that came with it, as the media and my mother encouraged a man like me to accept. In this post, I'd like to discuss some of the things I did without realizing it to potentially help any other unfortunately married men out there to possibly find peace in their households. Please don't take this post as an invitation to accept the risks of marriage as long as you follow my ideas; I remain firmly against marriage for any man who has dreams in his life or who doesn't have kids, and hope only those men who are currently and unhappily married to find potential advice that they can use.
A few months after the huge blowup I had at my wife, we were watching some program on TV about a woman with financial troubles. My wife was easily suckered in by her sob story, but I wasn't buying any of it. This supposedly poor woman (an American at that, a citizen of one of the richest nations on the planet) apparently was having troubles making ends meet, and wanted the government to step in and help her. But one look around this woman's life was enough for me to cry bull:
- She was easily fifty pounds overweight, maybe more, showing that she had more than enough money for food.
- She lived alone in an apartment that could have housed one or two more people, easily.
- She had a cat, which she had to provide medicine, litter, food and more for.
- She had a computer, a phone and a TV, all of which no doubt connected to the internet, cable and/or satellite.
- She had a huge bed that she could have easily sold.
- She had a huge collection of clothes, especially shoes.
- She lived in, or very close to, New York.
- The apartment was well furnished with things she either didn't need to buy, or could have possibly sold.
When I pointed out all of these things, my wife got quiet. A few minutes later, she suddenly agreed with me and praised me for how observant and smart I was to notice these things.
Over the next two years, every time we watched American women do something ridiculous, selfish or disgusting (divorcing four times, refusing to shave, ballooning to four times a healthy weight, swearing that they could see ghosts in their new houses as an excuse to move out of a place they didn't like, getting piercings or ridiculous haircuts, cussing like sailors or what have you), I would point it out. Every single time. In addition, I would tell my wife how much better the women of this country were (but NEVER tell her that she was specifically better, as that might have led to her becoming an arrogant harpy again).
As a result of this, my wife has, for the past year or so, constantly compared herself to the women she sees on TV from America in two ways: first, she tells me how nasty the American women she sees are. Second, she constantly tries to prove herself to me by asking how much better she is than before, and how much better she is than American women. I offer positive reinforcement every time, but I always couple it with how she can still improve.
Not only this, but I have made it clear about the things I expect from her as I have standards for her, as well. She needs to maintain a decent weight, she needs to shave, she shouldn't feel comfortable enough to pass gas when I'm around, and she needs to keep a clean house. She now eagerly improves herself both to reach this ideal image I have of her as a wife, and as the antithesis of the American women that nauseate me.
I don't know if this information will help you, unhappily married reader, to make your life more purgatorious than hellacious, but perhaps it will. Once you've established dominance over your wife and she happily submits to you, try giving her something to shoot for, and another thing to strain against. I know it's like training an animal, but if your wife is as big a monster as mine used to be, you may have no other choice if you need to remain married for your children.
Thursday, September 10, 2015
I'm glad I left America
If you can read this blog, you probably live in a western, or at least westernized, country. I admit I haven't been to any other western country except Canada (and that was only for two weeks), so perhaps this blog won't apply to you personally. Maybe England, Australia and the rest are different from the culture in America, but maybe this post will resonate with you because they're closer than you think.
Men who want to marry in the west are screwed for numerous reasons as I've laid out in this blog: they lose their dreams, freedom, money and much more, and take on the burdens of drama, debts and in-laws; all this I have already gone through. But for this post, I want to focus on the person anyone might be marrying, a man or woman from the west, through the lens of all the things I don't miss about American (western?) culture. Consider the four pillars of American culture:
1. Obsession with power
When was the last time you knew an American to equate morality or show deference to righteous action? And how does that compare with viewing others as moral or right because of their personal power? This obsession with power swings two ways:
Sometimes people view others as leaders deserving of respect, or virtuous people with golden hearts, because they are the strongest in the room. They're abrasive and brash, they stomp around and yell a lot, they tear down others with their words and actions, they take everything and give nothing back, and because they have the confidence, muscles or lack of compassion, they are the ones deferred to. Even more, these people believe that a person without power is deserving of all of the harassment, trolling, bullying, condescension, insults and attacks on their livelihood that they receive.
Confidence is everything, as I learned many years ago. I developed a powerful personality, bulked up and rode a cruiser motorcycle in college when I realized that power is everything to an American. Once I had done this, my four years of searching for a girlfriend was over in a few months, I had a wide network of friends and people respected everything I had to say. Despite this being a very angry period of my life where I lost my temper and insulted or threatened quite a few people who bothered me on the job or street, I still received much more in the way of respect, sex and friendship than I ever did as a timid, friendly loser before.
The other belief of power is the complete opposite: people without power are the ones with morality. It doesn't matter if they've accomplished nothing with their lives. It doesn't matter if they're murderers, rapists, or thieves, or people who engaged in fraud, slander, assault or any other negative action. Because their group has traditionally been out of power, then every member of that group must be more righteous, intelligent, or good then people in other tribes. These people believe that if someone shares the physical traits of a tribe that has traditionally been in power, then any and all harassment or violence against them is not only justified, but in some cases, encouraged.
I'm not arguing that confidence, muscles or any of these things are wrong or bad, or that being a member of this or that group automatically makes someone good or bad. What I'm saying is that these things should not equate with morality or moral authority... and yet, in America, they do. The effect of this pillar of American culture is one where people pride themselves on a lack of morality or a code of ethics: power is everything.
As for me: I was a member of the latter group, the belief that traditionally marginalized groups are inherently morally superior, during my Progressive days from the end of high school to the beginning of college. I no longer follow either of these beliefs on power.
2. Obsession with irony
I honestly wonder when this started. Americans have an obsession with speaking opposite to what they actually mean:
- "What a smart guy." (What a stupid guy)
- "This is the best car ever made." (I don't like this car)
- "He must have used a lot of brain cells for that." (That was a lazy effort)
While I don't know when this process started, I do know why people do it. First, people in America are hyper judgemental of others (which I'll get to in the next pillar). People fear what they attack others with, so because Americans use and therefore fear judgement, they couch all of their words in ironic double talk to maintain plausible deniability. For example:
- Stranger: "Wow, nice house." (This house is ugly)
- Homeowner: "Hey, I just bought this place and I haven't even finished working on it yet."
- Stranger: "What? I said it was a nice house. Calm down before you strain something, crybaby."
Second, people in America view honesty as being naive, and truth telling as the childish action of the mentally handicapped:
- "This food is kind of expensive for how little you get."
- "No f***ing s***, Sherlock. Did you think that all up by yourself? Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious."
People quickly learn to turn those truths into lie-truths to avoid this judgement:
- "BEST FOOD I'VE EVER HAD, AND ALL THE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK!"
- "Yeah, it sucks!"
Enjoying things ironically is another way that people protect themselves from judgement, because when enjoying something that's supposed to be silly, low quality or inappropriate, it's redundant to insult it; people already know it's bad. But when sharing something that you enjoy with others in America, it's common for people to riff or overtalk everything they see by judging all the plot holes, bad CG or acting they feel fit to ridicule.
This culture of irony leads to a country of people obsessed with hiding their true hearts and couching everything in a cloud of dishonesty, and to a pervasive fear of judgement.
As for me: I've used irony all my life, and still catch myself using it from time to time to this day. I'm still working hard on eradicating it from my vocabulary to lead a more honest life with myself and others.
3. Hyper judgementalism
Reality TV, Youtube channels dedicated to ripping apart the works of other people, blogs stalking and attacking a single person for months or years on end, American culture is awash with the constant attacks of people and things that the judgemental don't like. This leads to a sense of fear of being judged (which leads to pillar 2 above), but more importantly, it delays personal growth. There is a huge tendency for the judgemental to say things like "I may be scum, but at least I'm not _____."
I understand the apparent hypocrisy of me judging judgement while judging marriage to be not worth the effort, but please understand my main point: judging things to help others or encourage good behavior is markedly different from judging things to feel better about oneself, and judging things sparingly and only when needed is also markedly different from judging every aspect of everything every hour of the day.
The behavior I'm describing, and the irresponsibility and immaturity that arises from perpetually judgemental people who attack others while ignoring their own faults, lead to an entire culture of fingers pointing at everyone and everything but the owner's own heart, delaying growth and evolution for years, even decades.
As for me: When I find something wrong in my life, I turn proverbial floodlights in every direction looking for the cause and solutions. When I came to the realization of how much energy is spent in America ripping apart other people and focusing away from personal fault, I examined my own habits online and ended up very disappointed in myself: every single website and Youtube channel I frequented, top to bottom, involved the judgement of people for their politics, taste in movies or video games, management of an IP or anything else. While I always take myself to task for the mistakes I make and never stop trying to learn and grow from the things I've done wrong in the past, I was still shocked to see how much of American culture had followed me, even in another country. I now primarily surf websites and Youtube channels dedicated to history, religion, science, the paranormal and other things that don't involve grinding others into pulp. It's still a struggle sometimes to avoid my old habits and stay away from the kinds of pages I used to frequent.
4. Hyper tribalism
White vs colored. Men vs women. Left vs right. Atheists and Muslims vs Christians. Old vs young. Rich vs poor. When you destroy a nation's identity and make it xenophobic, hate-filled, bigoted or stupid for someone to love their country and their neighbors as members of their countries, the caveman DNA of humanity will find another way to express its desire to join a group and engage in endless warfare with another group. Such is the case in America, where bands of humans, identifying themselves by a difference in something or another, will line up to engage in battle with their mortal enemies all day and night.
Anti-intellectualism is one of the great results of this warfare between the groups. When your only duty in life is to protect the group to which you belong, intelligence can and will take a back seat behind the primitive desire to see your group succeed and to dash your opponents' proverbial heads on the rocks.
This isn't to say that one or both of any of these groups can't have valid points that should be addressed; rather, this is just another symptom of the cultural bankruptcy of America, where tribethink is more important than objective truth.
As for me: I mentioned that I was a hardcore Progressive earlier, and after that, I was a hardcore Republican/Libertarian until I moved abroad. I have largely expunged every tribal identity I once carried, and remain on constant vigilance that I never slip back into any of those addictive patterns again so I can remain in control of my mind, and better able to get along with others.
As for:
- Drug and alcohol culture leading to chronic conflict avoidance
- One night stand culture degenerating social contact to primitive hominid levels
- Constant social experiments and pranks eroding general social trust
- Incessant cussing showing a lack of respect for self and others
- Welfare parasitism incentivizing sloth and punishing productivity
- Hypersexuality throwing everything noble or intellectual under the bus in pursuit of sex and only sex and leading to rampant STDs, child abandonment and abortions
- Social media addiction making people into egotistical, impatient, and insufferable attention seekers
- Internet addiction giving destructive and dangerous people echo chambers to mutually prop up their sociopathic ideas...
- ...and also giving people the ability to flee from any conversation without accepting blame, criticism or fault for wrong ideas, creating a nation of eccentric, Howard Hughes-like control freaks in real life
- The acceptance of moral relativism and the participation trophy culture creating an entitled nation of lazy people incapable of recognizing fault in themselves, but expecting the world to nonetheless be delivered to them on a platter
And more, these are things I find personally distasteful about America and are more controversial, so I'll just list them here and move on.
Now, with the four pillars identified, perhaps you can imagine people in your family, friends, co-workers or others who embody some or all of these pillars. Until I came abroad, I was a firm follower of almost every pillar and was constantly at odds with enemies that belonged to groups I didn't like. But when I realized that I didn't want to be that kind of person anymore, I slowly started to burn away every one of these hook-legged, blood sucking ticks, fleas and leeches from my heart and mind, and today, I've found a peace that I had never known in America. If I weren't married, my life would literally be as close to perfect as I could make it right now.
And speaking of which, this is where we get into the people of America and marriage. Imagine he/she wasn't just your friend or boy/girlfriend. Imagine this was your spouse... in your house... every day... for the rest of your life.
For men, attached at the hip, under pain of impoverishment and/or imprisonment, you would spend the rest of your life with an immoral, dishonest, irresponsible, immature and anti-intellectual woman, from which the only escape would be divorce. For women divorce isn't usually a problem, but for men, your choice is to bow your head and take this abuse until one of you dies or you divorce, or to establish dominance to curb this behavior and probably end up provoking her to divorce anyway.
If you think it's bad living in America (and anyone from another western country, feel free to comment if your homeland is as bad as America because I'd like to know your views), try being married to someone from the west. Marriage is bad enough because it will rob you in almost every case of your freedom, time, money and dreams, but to do so with a westerner... you are assuredly tempting disaster and ruin into your life.
Men who want to marry in the west are screwed for numerous reasons as I've laid out in this blog: they lose their dreams, freedom, money and much more, and take on the burdens of drama, debts and in-laws; all this I have already gone through. But for this post, I want to focus on the person anyone might be marrying, a man or woman from the west, through the lens of all the things I don't miss about American (western?) culture. Consider the four pillars of American culture:
1. Obsession with power
When was the last time you knew an American to equate morality or show deference to righteous action? And how does that compare with viewing others as moral or right because of their personal power? This obsession with power swings two ways:
Sometimes people view others as leaders deserving of respect, or virtuous people with golden hearts, because they are the strongest in the room. They're abrasive and brash, they stomp around and yell a lot, they tear down others with their words and actions, they take everything and give nothing back, and because they have the confidence, muscles or lack of compassion, they are the ones deferred to. Even more, these people believe that a person without power is deserving of all of the harassment, trolling, bullying, condescension, insults and attacks on their livelihood that they receive.
Confidence is everything, as I learned many years ago. I developed a powerful personality, bulked up and rode a cruiser motorcycle in college when I realized that power is everything to an American. Once I had done this, my four years of searching for a girlfriend was over in a few months, I had a wide network of friends and people respected everything I had to say. Despite this being a very angry period of my life where I lost my temper and insulted or threatened quite a few people who bothered me on the job or street, I still received much more in the way of respect, sex and friendship than I ever did as a timid, friendly loser before.
The other belief of power is the complete opposite: people without power are the ones with morality. It doesn't matter if they've accomplished nothing with their lives. It doesn't matter if they're murderers, rapists, or thieves, or people who engaged in fraud, slander, assault or any other negative action. Because their group has traditionally been out of power, then every member of that group must be more righteous, intelligent, or good then people in other tribes. These people believe that if someone shares the physical traits of a tribe that has traditionally been in power, then any and all harassment or violence against them is not only justified, but in some cases, encouraged.
I'm not arguing that confidence, muscles or any of these things are wrong or bad, or that being a member of this or that group automatically makes someone good or bad. What I'm saying is that these things should not equate with morality or moral authority... and yet, in America, they do. The effect of this pillar of American culture is one where people pride themselves on a lack of morality or a code of ethics: power is everything.
As for me: I was a member of the latter group, the belief that traditionally marginalized groups are inherently morally superior, during my Progressive days from the end of high school to the beginning of college. I no longer follow either of these beliefs on power.
2. Obsession with irony
I honestly wonder when this started. Americans have an obsession with speaking opposite to what they actually mean:
- "What a smart guy." (What a stupid guy)
- "This is the best car ever made." (I don't like this car)
- "He must have used a lot of brain cells for that." (That was a lazy effort)
While I don't know when this process started, I do know why people do it. First, people in America are hyper judgemental of others (which I'll get to in the next pillar). People fear what they attack others with, so because Americans use and therefore fear judgement, they couch all of their words in ironic double talk to maintain plausible deniability. For example:
- Stranger: "Wow, nice house." (This house is ugly)
- Homeowner: "Hey, I just bought this place and I haven't even finished working on it yet."
- Stranger: "What? I said it was a nice house. Calm down before you strain something, crybaby."
Second, people in America view honesty as being naive, and truth telling as the childish action of the mentally handicapped:
- "This food is kind of expensive for how little you get."
- "No f***ing s***, Sherlock. Did you think that all up by yourself? Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious."
People quickly learn to turn those truths into lie-truths to avoid this judgement:
- "BEST FOOD I'VE EVER HAD, AND ALL THE BANG FOR YOUR BUCK!"
- "Yeah, it sucks!"
Enjoying things ironically is another way that people protect themselves from judgement, because when enjoying something that's supposed to be silly, low quality or inappropriate, it's redundant to insult it; people already know it's bad. But when sharing something that you enjoy with others in America, it's common for people to riff or overtalk everything they see by judging all the plot holes, bad CG or acting they feel fit to ridicule.
This culture of irony leads to a country of people obsessed with hiding their true hearts and couching everything in a cloud of dishonesty, and to a pervasive fear of judgement.
As for me: I've used irony all my life, and still catch myself using it from time to time to this day. I'm still working hard on eradicating it from my vocabulary to lead a more honest life with myself and others.
3. Hyper judgementalism
Reality TV, Youtube channels dedicated to ripping apart the works of other people, blogs stalking and attacking a single person for months or years on end, American culture is awash with the constant attacks of people and things that the judgemental don't like. This leads to a sense of fear of being judged (which leads to pillar 2 above), but more importantly, it delays personal growth. There is a huge tendency for the judgemental to say things like "I may be scum, but at least I'm not _____."
I understand the apparent hypocrisy of me judging judgement while judging marriage to be not worth the effort, but please understand my main point: judging things to help others or encourage good behavior is markedly different from judging things to feel better about oneself, and judging things sparingly and only when needed is also markedly different from judging every aspect of everything every hour of the day.
The behavior I'm describing, and the irresponsibility and immaturity that arises from perpetually judgemental people who attack others while ignoring their own faults, lead to an entire culture of fingers pointing at everyone and everything but the owner's own heart, delaying growth and evolution for years, even decades.
As for me: When I find something wrong in my life, I turn proverbial floodlights in every direction looking for the cause and solutions. When I came to the realization of how much energy is spent in America ripping apart other people and focusing away from personal fault, I examined my own habits online and ended up very disappointed in myself: every single website and Youtube channel I frequented, top to bottom, involved the judgement of people for their politics, taste in movies or video games, management of an IP or anything else. While I always take myself to task for the mistakes I make and never stop trying to learn and grow from the things I've done wrong in the past, I was still shocked to see how much of American culture had followed me, even in another country. I now primarily surf websites and Youtube channels dedicated to history, religion, science, the paranormal and other things that don't involve grinding others into pulp. It's still a struggle sometimes to avoid my old habits and stay away from the kinds of pages I used to frequent.
4. Hyper tribalism
White vs colored. Men vs women. Left vs right. Atheists and Muslims vs Christians. Old vs young. Rich vs poor. When you destroy a nation's identity and make it xenophobic, hate-filled, bigoted or stupid for someone to love their country and their neighbors as members of their countries, the caveman DNA of humanity will find another way to express its desire to join a group and engage in endless warfare with another group. Such is the case in America, where bands of humans, identifying themselves by a difference in something or another, will line up to engage in battle with their mortal enemies all day and night.
Anti-intellectualism is one of the great results of this warfare between the groups. When your only duty in life is to protect the group to which you belong, intelligence can and will take a back seat behind the primitive desire to see your group succeed and to dash your opponents' proverbial heads on the rocks.
This isn't to say that one or both of any of these groups can't have valid points that should be addressed; rather, this is just another symptom of the cultural bankruptcy of America, where tribethink is more important than objective truth.
As for me: I mentioned that I was a hardcore Progressive earlier, and after that, I was a hardcore Republican/Libertarian until I moved abroad. I have largely expunged every tribal identity I once carried, and remain on constant vigilance that I never slip back into any of those addictive patterns again so I can remain in control of my mind, and better able to get along with others.
As for:
- Drug and alcohol culture leading to chronic conflict avoidance
- One night stand culture degenerating social contact to primitive hominid levels
- Constant social experiments and pranks eroding general social trust
- Incessant cussing showing a lack of respect for self and others
- Welfare parasitism incentivizing sloth and punishing productivity
- Hypersexuality throwing everything noble or intellectual under the bus in pursuit of sex and only sex and leading to rampant STDs, child abandonment and abortions
- Social media addiction making people into egotistical, impatient, and insufferable attention seekers
- Internet addiction giving destructive and dangerous people echo chambers to mutually prop up their sociopathic ideas...
- ...and also giving people the ability to flee from any conversation without accepting blame, criticism or fault for wrong ideas, creating a nation of eccentric, Howard Hughes-like control freaks in real life
- The acceptance of moral relativism and the participation trophy culture creating an entitled nation of lazy people incapable of recognizing fault in themselves, but expecting the world to nonetheless be delivered to them on a platter
And more, these are things I find personally distasteful about America and are more controversial, so I'll just list them here and move on.
Now, with the four pillars identified, perhaps you can imagine people in your family, friends, co-workers or others who embody some or all of these pillars. Until I came abroad, I was a firm follower of almost every pillar and was constantly at odds with enemies that belonged to groups I didn't like. But when I realized that I didn't want to be that kind of person anymore, I slowly started to burn away every one of these hook-legged, blood sucking ticks, fleas and leeches from my heart and mind, and today, I've found a peace that I had never known in America. If I weren't married, my life would literally be as close to perfect as I could make it right now.
And speaking of which, this is where we get into the people of America and marriage. Imagine he/she wasn't just your friend or boy/girlfriend. Imagine this was your spouse... in your house... every day... for the rest of your life.
For men, attached at the hip, under pain of impoverishment and/or imprisonment, you would spend the rest of your life with an immoral, dishonest, irresponsible, immature and anti-intellectual woman, from which the only escape would be divorce. For women divorce isn't usually a problem, but for men, your choice is to bow your head and take this abuse until one of you dies or you divorce, or to establish dominance to curb this behavior and probably end up provoking her to divorce anyway.
If you think it's bad living in America (and anyone from another western country, feel free to comment if your homeland is as bad as America because I'd like to know your views), try being married to someone from the west. Marriage is bad enough because it will rob you in almost every case of your freedom, time, money and dreams, but to do so with a westerner... you are assuredly tempting disaster and ruin into your life.
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Weight
Just to reiterate, the update schedule on this blog is not multiple times a day or week, but instead when things happen in my married life that I think warrant a post. From the fact that I update once a month or two, you should get an idea of how uneventful this boring gruel called marriage is.
I think I've covered all of the bases on marriage, but I've also gotten requests for labels on my posts from smart phone users because they aren't showing up on the top page. I've updated the top post with those links at the bottom for easy access.
Now to the news. I've been about thirty pounds overweight for the last two or three years, and though it didn't show, I still wanted to look better for my family. After a very long time spent trying to effectively lose weight, I've found that exercise doesn't do much to lessen the pounds, but dieting does. With that in mind, I've found my exceedingly low metabolism's resting caloric rate and switched to a diet of a small amount of food every day with vitamin supplements, and the weight is just dropping off.
I also told my wife about this, and she noticed my ribs finally starting to poke out and my jawline becoming much more manly and distinct. But after a month or two of me losing ten or fifteen pounds, my wife had remained the same size.
About two or three weeks ago, I saw her sitting in a chair wearing shorts and noticed her thunder thighs. I stopped walking past her, then silently reached down to lift one of her legs to turn it over and inspect it.
"Are you dieting?" I asked.
She remained silent.
"Why not?" I asked.
"I didn't take it seriously," she asked.
"Why not?" I repeated, eyes narrowing. I already knew the answer was because she's my wife and can't get "fired" from this job while we have our son.
She got silent again, then answered, "I'm sorry. I'll go back on it."
A few days later, she did just that, but when I asked her how she was doing with her weight and appetite, she got mad. "Can you stop asking me?!" she demanded, "It's too much pressu..."
That's as far as she got before I shot her murder eyes, tilted my head up in condescension, spun around and charged into the bedroom to get ready for my shower. I ignored her for the next several hours, not even seeing a text that she sent me only a minute after I entered the bedroom explaining her hard work and how she wanted to look good for me. I only saw the preview and ignored it until the next morning, where I was still doing my best to make her feel isolated and uncomfortable.
That night, she came to me to show me some ribs sticking out, and how happy she was to be dropping pounds. I gave her a very brief compliment, then it was back to life as usual. Imagine the advice you would have gotten from Team Woman about giving her space, loving her for who she is, letting her be who she wants to be, accepting anything and everything she does and how you should feel like a complete loser for having any kind of standard for your wife.
Now, I don't doubt that she might end up quitting the diet again in the next few weeks, at which point I will overtake her and actually weigh less than she does (this should happen in about two or three months). I'm so removed from caring about the outcome, though, that I really don't care if she hits four hundred pounds. I'll just stop sleeping with and touching her; I'm here to protect my son, after all.
In other news, in the past week, I've also had a strange callback to the many moments in my single time when I had flashes of euphoria that I've detailed in several of my Then and Now posts, where I:
- See or feel something great
- The world opens up and becomes crystal clear
- A shiver goes up my spine
- I feel free, open and invincible
- The image of that scene is burned into my permanent memory
- Seconds later, it all stops
This happened around twenty or thirty times in the six months I was a free man abroad, but only once or twice in the seven years since. I wonder if I'll feel another flash in 2027 when my son is a happy, mature college student and ready to see the world as a free man without marriage, and I can live again, knowing he has been protected and provided for as best as I could have done.
I think I've covered all of the bases on marriage, but I've also gotten requests for labels on my posts from smart phone users because they aren't showing up on the top page. I've updated the top post with those links at the bottom for easy access.
Now to the news. I've been about thirty pounds overweight for the last two or three years, and though it didn't show, I still wanted to look better for my family. After a very long time spent trying to effectively lose weight, I've found that exercise doesn't do much to lessen the pounds, but dieting does. With that in mind, I've found my exceedingly low metabolism's resting caloric rate and switched to a diet of a small amount of food every day with vitamin supplements, and the weight is just dropping off.
I also told my wife about this, and she noticed my ribs finally starting to poke out and my jawline becoming much more manly and distinct. But after a month or two of me losing ten or fifteen pounds, my wife had remained the same size.
About two or three weeks ago, I saw her sitting in a chair wearing shorts and noticed her thunder thighs. I stopped walking past her, then silently reached down to lift one of her legs to turn it over and inspect it.
"Are you dieting?" I asked.
She remained silent.
"Why not?" I asked.
"I didn't take it seriously," she asked.
"Why not?" I repeated, eyes narrowing. I already knew the answer was because she's my wife and can't get "fired" from this job while we have our son.
She got silent again, then answered, "I'm sorry. I'll go back on it."
A few days later, she did just that, but when I asked her how she was doing with her weight and appetite, she got mad. "Can you stop asking me?!" she demanded, "It's too much pressu..."
That's as far as she got before I shot her murder eyes, tilted my head up in condescension, spun around and charged into the bedroom to get ready for my shower. I ignored her for the next several hours, not even seeing a text that she sent me only a minute after I entered the bedroom explaining her hard work and how she wanted to look good for me. I only saw the preview and ignored it until the next morning, where I was still doing my best to make her feel isolated and uncomfortable.
That night, she came to me to show me some ribs sticking out, and how happy she was to be dropping pounds. I gave her a very brief compliment, then it was back to life as usual. Imagine the advice you would have gotten from Team Woman about giving her space, loving her for who she is, letting her be who she wants to be, accepting anything and everything she does and how you should feel like a complete loser for having any kind of standard for your wife.
Now, I don't doubt that she might end up quitting the diet again in the next few weeks, at which point I will overtake her and actually weigh less than she does (this should happen in about two or three months). I'm so removed from caring about the outcome, though, that I really don't care if she hits four hundred pounds. I'll just stop sleeping with and touching her; I'm here to protect my son, after all.
In other news, in the past week, I've also had a strange callback to the many moments in my single time when I had flashes of euphoria that I've detailed in several of my Then and Now posts, where I:
- See or feel something great
- The world opens up and becomes crystal clear
- A shiver goes up my spine
- I feel free, open and invincible
- The image of that scene is burned into my permanent memory
- Seconds later, it all stops
This happened around twenty or thirty times in the six months I was a free man abroad, but only once or twice in the seven years since. I wonder if I'll feel another flash in 2027 when my son is a happy, mature college student and ready to see the world as a free man without marriage, and I can live again, knowing he has been protected and provided for as best as I could have done.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)