"So?! Why does that matter?"
Derisive snort with a cocky half-smile, then turn away without a word.
"You should take that to the trash."
"I'll do what I want."
Gasp!
"Problem?" with a smile.
My wife has tested me here and there over the past few months, not even close to what it was like four and five years ago, but she still tested me. And every time, I responded exactly as she wanted: as an aloof, arrogant master of the house, who allows his wife the lucky chance of a lifetime to live with him. It even works on female co-workers to keep them texting or emailing me with deference.
How long would this kind of behavior last with one of my guy friends? Not long at all; I suspect I would be searching for a new clique of buddies within a week or two.
And this is what modern society doesn't tell you: women respond to this behavior because it's in their genetics, their very nature, to follow a man in charge. Completely counter to a man, acting with force to a woman causes her to bow her head, while acting docile will get her to poke and prod and attack you harder and harder until you act like the man she wants you to be.
I find it funny how quickly my wife is to adopt my beliefs ever since the big pushback back in 2012. Since then, she's completely accepted thought control to control her emotions, my substantial distaste of the power and irony obsessed, socially debased, overly judgemental and tribalistic culture of America, and my dream of traveling the world as soon as 2027 hits; it's like she's a little mini-me.
And this is all because I don't let her get away with anything, talk down to me at all or otherwise cause trouble in the slightest. I forced her to thank me every time I give her money until it became automatic, I curtail the praise and compliments to once a week or two, and I respond to almost every time she says "I love you" with a quick smile and nod, or a quick "Same." She is now spending her life chasing me, and she couldn't be happier.
Men, if you married in the west, you won't be able to pull off this kind of behavior with a wife who is ok with pulling the plug and collecting her cash and prizes through divorce (and with the 40% first marriage divorce rate, it seems almost a majority of them are). Even if you marry elsewhere, think hard about all of the many things that you will lose. Are all of those things worth losing for the requirement of being Napoleon in your house?
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
No support
I'm grateful to the influx of generous and understanding commenters that I've gotten recently, and have tried to engage with them as I can to convince them not to ruin their lives with marriage as I have. For anyone who reads this, however, I want you to understand that this is not the norm.
When I was dating my girlfriend, just prior to getting her pregnant in 2007, the online presence of men warning other men not to marry or deal with women in the modern age (but more importantly, women backed up by corrupt and violent governments and state officials) was still in its infancy. I also had no guidance from any of my four fathers on how to treat women with power and confidence, and I had nobody to show me what happens to men railroaded by the system because I never saw any of these things on the news, never saw it in pop culture, and none of my parents ever prepared me for it.
So you might be thinking that now that men are out in droves pushing back against the system that robs and imprisons them after divorce, or incarcerates them during relationships on her word alone, that you would have a strong support system for yourself if you ever began to live with a woman. Maybe you might think that with men finally waking up to the realities of western governments grinding men into pulp would be enough to get you through marriage so you can have that happy family life you've always wanted. I'm here to say that despite the generosity of my latest commenters, you are sadly mistaken if you think most people will have your back.
In this international gender war, you will find three primary teams of people: the first is Team Woman, and is made up of women, their enablers and worshppers, and most mass media. The second is Team Man, is mostly relegated to the internet, and is made up of a variety of different acronyms like MGTOW, the MRAs and PUAs. Finally, there is Team Neutral, the largest of all the teams, made up of people who may or may not have opinions on the whole matter, but don't really care too much. Who among these three can you count on to take your side, have your back and provide you support if you find yourself unhappily married?
Team Woman will not help you. I know this from experience, because about four or five years ago I was going to close female friends or around the net for information on why my wife was acting like a beast. If they had responses, I got the same ones every time:
- When I talked about the things that she was doing wrong in our marriage, I got called a liar, a loser and lazy. People accused me of not working hard enough to support my wife, and wouldn't believe me when I told them what my wife was up to. The only advice that didn't include namecalling were several cries of "seek therapy." This had the psychological underpinning that we were both somehow at fault, even though I was the one sacrificing 95% of my paycheck, doing all the chores in the house, spending all the time with our son, only once raising my voice, while allowing my wife absolute freedom.
- When I talked about the few things that I did wrong in our marriage, like the one and only time I yelled at her in six years, Team Woman pounced on that. They ignored everything my wife did and focused on that one incident to smear me again as a lazy, lying loser.
However, looking at the advice that Team Woman gave to other women was striking in its contrast:
- When a wife had a lout of a husband, Team Woman took her at her word and encouraged her to call the police, to punish him with sex withdrawal or property destruction, or to divorce.
- When she admitted fault with her good husband, Team Woman encouraged her to "find herself" (aka divorce and sleep with other men) or shamed the man for not being strong enough to handle his obviously wonderful wife.
So Team Woman will not be on your side as a man if you get married. But what about Team Man?
You'll get some good information from Team Man, sure, and it will help you to deal with the mess you've made of your life. But if you ever mention to them that you got married, be prepared to be treated as a pariah.
"Doofus," "Immature," "Idiot," "Ten years old," "Fool," "Jackass," "Delusional," "Moron," "Sucker," "Dumbass," "Crybaby," "Whiner," "Cuckold," "Beta Boy," these are just a few of the names I have been called by the few places on the net that have discussed my situation, and who supposedly have men's interests at heart. There are exceptions out there where married men are respected for the wisdom they offer to younger men about not marrying, but it's been my experience that the namecalling from supposed "brothers" is just as brutal as the bullying from Team Woman. I have spent many years in high school and college as the group clown and punching bag (the one everyone insults and beats on, which the punching bag takes so he can "belong"), and I personally will not be going back to it. I also do not recommend men who plan to marry on relying on these supposed fraternities for companionship.
UPDATE: I think a coincidental in-a-row experience of several blogs discussing my situation, with namecalling and false assumptions about my character, made me get the wrong idea. I now think many or most people on Team Man will be supportive, though I still don't recommend getting married because other men will understand your position; all the well wishing in the world won't stop the government or mass media from steamrolling over any father or husband for what they may or may not do right or wrong.
And finally, we come to Team Neutral, people who haven't picked a side of the gender war and who make up the bulk of the world's population. I've mentioned before that if you live in an English speaking country and marry, then your life is over. In that post, I mostly discussed the legal ramifications of getting married in the west, but what I didn't discuss was the cultural aspect.
Imagine if you got married, it turned out badly as most do, and you went to friends or co-workers for assistance. What kind of response would you get? If you answered "stop whining" or something to that effect, then you've probably lived in a western country for as long as I have.
Western culture is absolutely obsessed with two things: power and irony. If you attempt to approach a member of Team Neutral, whether in real life or on the net, with your troubles with marriage, this sets them into a fit. "He's a man, but he has troubles he can't solve?" they think, and immediately move to insult, ridicule and reject you because you have trouble and dare to voice it to others. Westerners, and therefore Team Neutral, love power more than anything else: men follow other brutal men who put down everyone in the group, and women date thugs, criminals and drug dealers. Marry, and you will find no sympathy, no support, no respect from these people.
In addition, western culture's obsession with irony stems from its constant condescending attitudes towards others; people make judgements about others, and in turn fear others' judgement, so they mask their true emotions from judgement through irony and sarcasm. All of this makes it difficult to be honest with others in the west, because when you are, people think that you're weak, childish or stupid. It seems just about everyone speaks opposite to what they mean, whether it be calling beautiful cars ugly, calling their friends a-holes, calling their political rivals geniuses, or the millions of other ways people try to hide their true heart through layers of deception, sarcasm and double talk. If you try to reason with most people in the west about your troubles, and they don't immediately disqualify you because you aren't powerful enough, it's almost guaranteed they will try to make a joke out of your suffering, make pithy, ironic statements like "Yeah, marriage is great, huh?" or some other kind of useless words that do nothing to change your position.
If the laws against you as a married man are not enough to convince you not to tie the noose, try thinking long and hard about the kind of support you usually get from the people around you. Trust me: I've lived alone in an apartment by myself and through a godawful marriage, and I was never more lonely in life than those years I spent with the woman my wife used to be. Even today with a wife who has settled down on the chaos, I am the only one I can rely on.
When I was dating my girlfriend, just prior to getting her pregnant in 2007, the online presence of men warning other men not to marry or deal with women in the modern age (but more importantly, women backed up by corrupt and violent governments and state officials) was still in its infancy. I also had no guidance from any of my four fathers on how to treat women with power and confidence, and I had nobody to show me what happens to men railroaded by the system because I never saw any of these things on the news, never saw it in pop culture, and none of my parents ever prepared me for it.
So you might be thinking that now that men are out in droves pushing back against the system that robs and imprisons them after divorce, or incarcerates them during relationships on her word alone, that you would have a strong support system for yourself if you ever began to live with a woman. Maybe you might think that with men finally waking up to the realities of western governments grinding men into pulp would be enough to get you through marriage so you can have that happy family life you've always wanted. I'm here to say that despite the generosity of my latest commenters, you are sadly mistaken if you think most people will have your back.
In this international gender war, you will find three primary teams of people: the first is Team Woman, and is made up of women, their enablers and worshppers, and most mass media. The second is Team Man, is mostly relegated to the internet, and is made up of a variety of different acronyms like MGTOW, the MRAs and PUAs. Finally, there is Team Neutral, the largest of all the teams, made up of people who may or may not have opinions on the whole matter, but don't really care too much. Who among these three can you count on to take your side, have your back and provide you support if you find yourself unhappily married?
Team Woman will not help you. I know this from experience, because about four or five years ago I was going to close female friends or around the net for information on why my wife was acting like a beast. If they had responses, I got the same ones every time:
- When I talked about the things that she was doing wrong in our marriage, I got called a liar, a loser and lazy. People accused me of not working hard enough to support my wife, and wouldn't believe me when I told them what my wife was up to. The only advice that didn't include namecalling were several cries of "seek therapy." This had the psychological underpinning that we were both somehow at fault, even though I was the one sacrificing 95% of my paycheck, doing all the chores in the house, spending all the time with our son, only once raising my voice, while allowing my wife absolute freedom.
- When I talked about the few things that I did wrong in our marriage, like the one and only time I yelled at her in six years, Team Woman pounced on that. They ignored everything my wife did and focused on that one incident to smear me again as a lazy, lying loser.
However, looking at the advice that Team Woman gave to other women was striking in its contrast:
- When a wife had a lout of a husband, Team Woman took her at her word and encouraged her to call the police, to punish him with sex withdrawal or property destruction, or to divorce.
- When she admitted fault with her good husband, Team Woman encouraged her to "find herself" (aka divorce and sleep with other men) or shamed the man for not being strong enough to handle his obviously wonderful wife.
So Team Woman will not be on your side as a man if you get married. But what about Team Man?
You'll get some good information from Team Man, sure, and it will help you to deal with the mess you've made of your life. But if you ever mention to them that you got married, be prepared to be treated as a pariah.
"Doofus," "Immature," "Idiot," "Ten years old," "Fool," "Jackass," "Delusional," "Moron," "Sucker," "Dumbass," "Crybaby," "Whiner," "Cuckold," "Beta Boy," these are just a few of the names I have been called by the few places on the net that have discussed my situation, and who supposedly have men's interests at heart. There are exceptions out there where married men are respected for the wisdom they offer to younger men about not marrying, but it's been my experience that the namecalling from supposed "brothers" is just as brutal as the bullying from Team Woman. I have spent many years in high school and college as the group clown and punching bag (the one everyone insults and beats on, which the punching bag takes so he can "belong"), and I personally will not be going back to it. I also do not recommend men who plan to marry on relying on these supposed fraternities for companionship.
UPDATE: I think a coincidental in-a-row experience of several blogs discussing my situation, with namecalling and false assumptions about my character, made me get the wrong idea. I now think many or most people on Team Man will be supportive, though I still don't recommend getting married because other men will understand your position; all the well wishing in the world won't stop the government or mass media from steamrolling over any father or husband for what they may or may not do right or wrong.
And finally, we come to Team Neutral, people who haven't picked a side of the gender war and who make up the bulk of the world's population. I've mentioned before that if you live in an English speaking country and marry, then your life is over. In that post, I mostly discussed the legal ramifications of getting married in the west, but what I didn't discuss was the cultural aspect.
Imagine if you got married, it turned out badly as most do, and you went to friends or co-workers for assistance. What kind of response would you get? If you answered "stop whining" or something to that effect, then you've probably lived in a western country for as long as I have.
Western culture is absolutely obsessed with two things: power and irony. If you attempt to approach a member of Team Neutral, whether in real life or on the net, with your troubles with marriage, this sets them into a fit. "He's a man, but he has troubles he can't solve?" they think, and immediately move to insult, ridicule and reject you because you have trouble and dare to voice it to others. Westerners, and therefore Team Neutral, love power more than anything else: men follow other brutal men who put down everyone in the group, and women date thugs, criminals and drug dealers. Marry, and you will find no sympathy, no support, no respect from these people.
In addition, western culture's obsession with irony stems from its constant condescending attitudes towards others; people make judgements about others, and in turn fear others' judgement, so they mask their true emotions from judgement through irony and sarcasm. All of this makes it difficult to be honest with others in the west, because when you are, people think that you're weak, childish or stupid. It seems just about everyone speaks opposite to what they mean, whether it be calling beautiful cars ugly, calling their friends a-holes, calling their political rivals geniuses, or the millions of other ways people try to hide their true heart through layers of deception, sarcasm and double talk. If you try to reason with most people in the west about your troubles, and they don't immediately disqualify you because you aren't powerful enough, it's almost guaranteed they will try to make a joke out of your suffering, make pithy, ironic statements like "Yeah, marriage is great, huh?" or some other kind of useless words that do nothing to change your position.
If the laws against you as a married man are not enough to convince you not to tie the noose, try thinking long and hard about the kind of support you usually get from the people around you. Trust me: I've lived alone in an apartment by myself and through a godawful marriage, and I was never more lonely in life than those years I spent with the woman my wife used to be. Even today with a wife who has settled down on the chaos, I am the only one I can rely on.
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
Raising my son
I finally got to take a trip to the museum that I couldn't get to at the end of Then and Now 18. This time, I went to the city with plenty of time, and with my son. While we were there, we ate hamburgers, checked out some underground shopping malls to play in an arcade, took a walk under the easy sunlight through the wide streets, saw some moss-covered buildings in the middle of the city, visited a cultural center for the natives of this country, and topped it off with that museum so I could finally check it off of my list of things to see. It felt kind of like one of my old Then and Nows, except this time, I had my boy with me. We saw some technological and architectural pieces from several famous inventors and creators, and a couple of art pieces that weren't silly postmodern nonsense like flecks of paint on a mostly white canvas; there was actual depth, in both form and meaning, to them.
When I think of why I found it so fun to be abroad when I was single, I've wondered why it was that I was able to be so happy then. I had first truly awoken to my own personal ability and worth in Then and Now 1 and Then and Now 2, but I wondered: if I had become a stronger man while still in America with similar experiences, would I still have had such a great time? What I mean is, was awakening abroad the reason that I was so happy, or could I have done it anywhere? And was the only reason that I was happier abroad because I was used to not having a stable home, all because my mother shuttled me from city to city, school to school when I was younger on her husband hunt?
I'm not sure if travel was fun because of my shifting childhood, or because of the change of venue from the irony, facetiousness and degeneracy of social life in America. I do know one thing, though: being on my own in a new land provided me the push I needed to get myself into gear, as well as a fun reason to get out there and experience the world to see such newness. Because of this, I am trying my best to give my son all of the information I didn't have that he will need to make the best life choices for himself when he grows up. For sure, I am going to have a very deep and serious talk with him about women, especially western women, because there is a good chance he'll be going back to the USA to get his college degree. I'll go over:
- VAWA and other man-hating laws (which weren't as bad when I left)
- False rape accusations (which I never dealt with because I was a pedestalizing loser who treated my exchange student girlfriend like a princess, only to be treated with disdain in return)
- Socialist brainwashing (which I fell for hook, line and sinker and didn't deprogram until I was 21)
- The friend zone and s*** testing (the former which I was constantly in, and the latter which I failed every time a woman slung them at me)
- Contraception trickery (which I trusted both of my girlfriends with, and look where that got me)
- Marriage (just say no)
But even more than that, just teaching him the negatives of relationships today won't be enough. I need to teach my son that there's a better life out there, to keep seeing the world and never to be trapped by supposedly free and endless sex with one special woman. As such, I'm going to try my very best to make Sunday into a trip day where I can show him as many things of this country, and by proxy this world, and what they have to offer versus the stagnation of marriage.
If he decides to get married or have a child anyway, I'll protest, but respect his decision. But the least I can do is show him that here is a better life out there.
When I think of why I found it so fun to be abroad when I was single, I've wondered why it was that I was able to be so happy then. I had first truly awoken to my own personal ability and worth in Then and Now 1 and Then and Now 2, but I wondered: if I had become a stronger man while still in America with similar experiences, would I still have had such a great time? What I mean is, was awakening abroad the reason that I was so happy, or could I have done it anywhere? And was the only reason that I was happier abroad because I was used to not having a stable home, all because my mother shuttled me from city to city, school to school when I was younger on her husband hunt?
I'm not sure if travel was fun because of my shifting childhood, or because of the change of venue from the irony, facetiousness and degeneracy of social life in America. I do know one thing, though: being on my own in a new land provided me the push I needed to get myself into gear, as well as a fun reason to get out there and experience the world to see such newness. Because of this, I am trying my best to give my son all of the information I didn't have that he will need to make the best life choices for himself when he grows up. For sure, I am going to have a very deep and serious talk with him about women, especially western women, because there is a good chance he'll be going back to the USA to get his college degree. I'll go over:
- VAWA and other man-hating laws (which weren't as bad when I left)
- False rape accusations (which I never dealt with because I was a pedestalizing loser who treated my exchange student girlfriend like a princess, only to be treated with disdain in return)
- Socialist brainwashing (which I fell for hook, line and sinker and didn't deprogram until I was 21)
- The friend zone and s*** testing (the former which I was constantly in, and the latter which I failed every time a woman slung them at me)
- Contraception trickery (which I trusted both of my girlfriends with, and look where that got me)
- Marriage (just say no)
But even more than that, just teaching him the negatives of relationships today won't be enough. I need to teach my son that there's a better life out there, to keep seeing the world and never to be trapped by supposedly free and endless sex with one special woman. As such, I'm going to try my very best to make Sunday into a trip day where I can show him as many things of this country, and by proxy this world, and what they have to offer versus the stagnation of marriage.
If he decides to get married or have a child anyway, I'll protest, but respect his decision. But the least I can do is show him that here is a better life out there.
Friday, May 1, 2015
Marriage review, 2014 to 2015
Another year, another review day of the time I spent being married. Let's get to it:
Fights
I had zero fights with my wife this year, the same as last year. Once I knew what s*** tests were, how women use them and how to counteract them, I dropped my previous 30+ fights a year to absolutely nothing.
Chores
I didn't lift a finger around the house for the entire past year, except for maybe once or twice I did the laundry or dishes. My wife insists on doing all the chores every time, and unlike before, I don't do them anyway like a pathetic, grovelling beggar of female attention and approval.
Were I still single, I would have done every chore once a week. This marks the first time in seven years that my life has improved in some way because of marriage, but saving thirty minutes a week on chores is still not worth the trade-off of everything else I lost by marrying.
Sex
I get sex twice or three times a week now, because I no longer ask for it; I just start grabbing and escalating, even when she says she's tired. I've come to realize that she's just trying to act like an innocent, pure young woman when she refuses sex now, which is fine by me because she "relents" quickly and enthusiastically when I push for it. She's even directly stated afterwards how much she appreciated me being "wild."
If I hadn't married, things would be much the same, but I would have more varied (and openly enthusiastic) partners, so while it seems nothing much has changed, things would still be better if I were still single.
Money
I've saved nothing that isn't going towards family expenses or pending college bills, and I've donated $500 to charity.
As an unmarried man, I would have saved $5000 for emergencies, and donated $80,000 to charity by now. That's a lot of children that I could have helped.
Time Off
This year, I had 60 or 70 days off of work, all Sundays and holidays.
As a single man, I would have had two days a week off from work, at least 120 a year. If you include the time when I was planning to take a two or three month vacation every year, this number would be even higher.
Travel
I've lived in four cities.
As an unmarried man, I would be living in my eleventh city now, and I have a rough idea of where I would be living at this moment.
Friends
I've made two hundred friends, none of whom are still in regular contact with me.
As an unmarried man, I would have made about 2000 friends, and been in regular contact with about 20-30 of them. All those people I could have helped or learned from, all those experiences I could have had, all that potential, gone.
Fun & Adventure
I've had about five fun days out with my wife and/or son, all this year.
If I were still single, I could have written over 1200 Then and Now posts on my great life.
Summary
Another year has barreled past with nothing much interesting happening. My son is growing up and heading to first grade soon, my wife is losing weight and acting more bubbly, and I've learned many important lessons on how gender relations should normally be. Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but I still wish I were single. I wish I had more than that six months between getting abroad and my wife getting pregnant. I wish the next twelve years will speed by.
It would be great if I could go to sleep every night and wake up in the body of a single man, live a week in his life, then come back to live a single day of monotony as a married man. That way, I could have a fun and adventurous time in this "dream world," then come back to see my family and spend some fun time playing games or seeing the city with them before I headed back to the dream world once more. But I guess I'll just have to settle for mentally fast forwarding all the boring stuff, stopping only to spend time with my family, and hoping to get to 2027 as soon as possible. I can't wait to be free again.
Fights
I had zero fights with my wife this year, the same as last year. Once I knew what s*** tests were, how women use them and how to counteract them, I dropped my previous 30+ fights a year to absolutely nothing.
Chores
I didn't lift a finger around the house for the entire past year, except for maybe once or twice I did the laundry or dishes. My wife insists on doing all the chores every time, and unlike before, I don't do them anyway like a pathetic, grovelling beggar of female attention and approval.
Were I still single, I would have done every chore once a week. This marks the first time in seven years that my life has improved in some way because of marriage, but saving thirty minutes a week on chores is still not worth the trade-off of everything else I lost by marrying.
Sex
I get sex twice or three times a week now, because I no longer ask for it; I just start grabbing and escalating, even when she says she's tired. I've come to realize that she's just trying to act like an innocent, pure young woman when she refuses sex now, which is fine by me because she "relents" quickly and enthusiastically when I push for it. She's even directly stated afterwards how much she appreciated me being "wild."
If I hadn't married, things would be much the same, but I would have more varied (and openly enthusiastic) partners, so while it seems nothing much has changed, things would still be better if I were still single.
Money
I've saved nothing that isn't going towards family expenses or pending college bills, and I've donated $500 to charity.
As an unmarried man, I would have saved $5000 for emergencies, and donated $80,000 to charity by now. That's a lot of children that I could have helped.
Time Off
This year, I had 60 or 70 days off of work, all Sundays and holidays.
As a single man, I would have had two days a week off from work, at least 120 a year. If you include the time when I was planning to take a two or three month vacation every year, this number would be even higher.
Travel
I've lived in four cities.
As an unmarried man, I would be living in my eleventh city now, and I have a rough idea of where I would be living at this moment.
Friends
I've made two hundred friends, none of whom are still in regular contact with me.
As an unmarried man, I would have made about 2000 friends, and been in regular contact with about 20-30 of them. All those people I could have helped or learned from, all those experiences I could have had, all that potential, gone.
Fun & Adventure
I've had about five fun days out with my wife and/or son, all this year.
If I were still single, I could have written over 1200 Then and Now posts on my great life.
Summary
Another year has barreled past with nothing much interesting happening. My son is growing up and heading to first grade soon, my wife is losing weight and acting more bubbly, and I've learned many important lessons on how gender relations should normally be. Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but I still wish I were single. I wish I had more than that six months between getting abroad and my wife getting pregnant. I wish the next twelve years will speed by.
It would be great if I could go to sleep every night and wake up in the body of a single man, live a week in his life, then come back to live a single day of monotony as a married man. That way, I could have a fun and adventurous time in this "dream world," then come back to see my family and spend some fun time playing games or seeing the city with them before I headed back to the dream world once more. But I guess I'll just have to settle for mentally fast forwarding all the boring stuff, stopping only to spend time with my family, and hoping to get to 2027 as soon as possible. I can't wait to be free again.
Monday, March 9, 2015
Such a long time
It's quite strange that even though four months have passed since the last update, it still feels like 2014. Life is so monotonous and repetitive as a married man that every day is almost exactly like the one before. I'm even down to 4559 days left to go before I get my freedom back, but I still think that I'm stuck around 4700 or something.
I've continued to keep my pimp hand strong on my wife, using every one of the techniques of countering s*** tests that I've learned and written about on this blog for the past few years. I'm still kind to her most of the time, but I'm now intentionally making her jealous: showing her wallpaper pictures on my phone of women hotter than she, talking about lunch I've had with my boss or female co-workers, etc... I've never once let her talk down to me, I've never apologized for anything in the past year (even when I was in the wrong), I rarely give her compliments (maybe every few days or once a week) and I even more rarely say that I love her anymore. As a result, sex is on twice a week now. Go figure.
Now that my life has basically been relegated to first world problems, though my single life was miles ahead of, and infinitely more fun than, this sludge, I finally have a taste of what marriage was eighty or ninety years ago. And to be honest, it's still pretty lame. I'm glad I have my son and I spend a lot of time with him, but I think one of the big secrets to my success as a married man to a former shrew of a wife is thinking of her as temp help in the house. I live as if she could cheat at any moment and my only response would be, "If you get pregnant, I'll divorce you. Otherwise, do what you want." This kind of outcome independent aloof attitude is what gets my wife to bow her head or look away shyly when I address her, makes her act like a bubbly teenager when I suggest we do anything together, and what has made her take care of every chore in the house on her own, and begging me not to do them if I attempt one.
Life is going to fly by these next twelve years, and that's not a good thing. But at least it wasn't the hell my life was back in 2010-2012.
I've continued to keep my pimp hand strong on my wife, using every one of the techniques of countering s*** tests that I've learned and written about on this blog for the past few years. I'm still kind to her most of the time, but I'm now intentionally making her jealous: showing her wallpaper pictures on my phone of women hotter than she, talking about lunch I've had with my boss or female co-workers, etc... I've never once let her talk down to me, I've never apologized for anything in the past year (even when I was in the wrong), I rarely give her compliments (maybe every few days or once a week) and I even more rarely say that I love her anymore. As a result, sex is on twice a week now. Go figure.
Now that my life has basically been relegated to first world problems, though my single life was miles ahead of, and infinitely more fun than, this sludge, I finally have a taste of what marriage was eighty or ninety years ago. And to be honest, it's still pretty lame. I'm glad I have my son and I spend a lot of time with him, but I think one of the big secrets to my success as a married man to a former shrew of a wife is thinking of her as temp help in the house. I live as if she could cheat at any moment and my only response would be, "If you get pregnant, I'll divorce you. Otherwise, do what you want." This kind of outcome independent aloof attitude is what gets my wife to bow her head or look away shyly when I address her, makes her act like a bubbly teenager when I suggest we do anything together, and what has made her take care of every chore in the house on her own, and begging me not to do them if I attempt one.
Life is going to fly by these next twelve years, and that's not a good thing. But at least it wasn't the hell my life was back in 2010-2012.
Thursday, November 27, 2014
The problem of sex
I promised myself that I wouldn't ask my wife for sex ever again about six months ago, and kept that promise up until a week or two ago. Thinking that I had proven myself the leader of this marriage once more with my wife buying me presents, showing me respect at all times and happily taking care of all of the housework (when she used to yell at me all the time when I cleaned the house every night before), I tried to initiate sex four times this month. The first time, she said yes. The second time, it was her period. The third and fourth times, out it came again: "I'm too tired."
After the third refusal, I was livid. But knowing that anger only shows women what buttons they can push, I just remained quiet for a few seconds, then said, "Every night, you're too tired. Every morning, you have no time." Then I went outside to sleep on the couch. It was quite peaceful and relaxing out there, and the next day, I went directly to work without talking to her. She sent some text messages to me, but I didn't even bother reading a single word of them:
- If it was an apology and a promise to change regarding sex, she's already promised that multiple times and lied every time before.
- If it was her idea of an explanation, I knew it would just be an excuse.
- If it was some anger or confusion with demands for answers, I didn't want to hear it. More importantly, if a man doesn't calmly and sternly put a stop to a woman's outbursts, it's best not to give them even the barest hint of attention, or you get more of the same.
When I came home, I refused to make eye contact with her, ignored her for hours while I played with our son, recovered my blankets from the bedroom (she put them on the bed again while I was at work) then slept on the couch again. I continued this process for two or three days, and she bought me a bunch of presents and was obviously confused and uncomfortable, and because of this, treated me like a king. But the sex still didn't return.
And that's the main point of today's post. Unmarried men, this is the norm for a husband, and there's nothing you can do to solve it. Think of any girlfriends you have been with. What were the options?
EITHER
I have sex with my girlfriend.
OR
I find someone else.
Married men like myself, however, have a different experience:
EITHER
I have sex, and my wife gets money and support.
OR
I don't have sex, and my wife gets money and support.
I've also discussed about how being a strong man with a supportive woman is much, much more stable than the alternative (or an equal partnership, for that matter), much to the opposite of what western culture teaches people. In the end, this shows the problem of sex, specifically in marriage.
Women sleep with high class men. In most cases, that's a given. Whether it's money, strength, fame or whatever, women hardly ever sleep down. And that leads us to marriage... which is the greatest show of submission a man can make to a woman in today's society. So it doesn't matter how strongly you act, how much you ask, how nice you are or how much you pull rank or bluster: women have no reason or incentive to sleep with a man they have married, unless their bodies are screaming at them to have children (which means I can get laid about once a month on average).
Women sleep with men for many reasons, but I know two reasons my wife-as-girlfriend used to sleep with me. The first was for the pleasure of it, and I know she used to, and still does, enjoy it. I don't want to get too personal, so I'll leave it at that. The second reason was to keep me around, and as my wife, she no longer needs to do this; I'm bound to her through our son and the marriage contract. With only one reason to have sex remaining, it's no wonder our sex life is in the pits, and why most married men can understand what I'm talking about. Single or dating men, this message is for you: you want sex, don't get married.
After all this stuff went down, I really started to think about this whole sex thing once more. First, I reaffirmed by promise not to initiate again; I went six months this time, next I'll try for at least a year, but hopefully not break the promise again. But more importantly, I realized that punishing my wife for her wafer thin excuses for sex was not necessary, and for several reasons:
- It does nothing to help our son, which is the only reason I'm staying married to my wife.
- Punishment makes her defer to me more, but it has never improved our sex life in the past.
- I'm not that interested in having sex with a somewhat overweight (but better than before), flabby middle-aged woman anyway.
So we made up without me apologizing (never apologize to a woman, by the way: they only use it as a reason to abuse you more), and back to the daily routine we went: sexless and monotonous, with 4660 days left on the counter until I can live again.
After the third refusal, I was livid. But knowing that anger only shows women what buttons they can push, I just remained quiet for a few seconds, then said, "Every night, you're too tired. Every morning, you have no time." Then I went outside to sleep on the couch. It was quite peaceful and relaxing out there, and the next day, I went directly to work without talking to her. She sent some text messages to me, but I didn't even bother reading a single word of them:
- If it was an apology and a promise to change regarding sex, she's already promised that multiple times and lied every time before.
- If it was her idea of an explanation, I knew it would just be an excuse.
- If it was some anger or confusion with demands for answers, I didn't want to hear it. More importantly, if a man doesn't calmly and sternly put a stop to a woman's outbursts, it's best not to give them even the barest hint of attention, or you get more of the same.
When I came home, I refused to make eye contact with her, ignored her for hours while I played with our son, recovered my blankets from the bedroom (she put them on the bed again while I was at work) then slept on the couch again. I continued this process for two or three days, and she bought me a bunch of presents and was obviously confused and uncomfortable, and because of this, treated me like a king. But the sex still didn't return.
And that's the main point of today's post. Unmarried men, this is the norm for a husband, and there's nothing you can do to solve it. Think of any girlfriends you have been with. What were the options?
EITHER
I have sex with my girlfriend.
OR
I find someone else.
Married men like myself, however, have a different experience:
EITHER
I have sex, and my wife gets money and support.
OR
I don't have sex, and my wife gets money and support.
I've also discussed about how being a strong man with a supportive woman is much, much more stable than the alternative (or an equal partnership, for that matter), much to the opposite of what western culture teaches people. In the end, this shows the problem of sex, specifically in marriage.
Women sleep with high class men. In most cases, that's a given. Whether it's money, strength, fame or whatever, women hardly ever sleep down. And that leads us to marriage... which is the greatest show of submission a man can make to a woman in today's society. So it doesn't matter how strongly you act, how much you ask, how nice you are or how much you pull rank or bluster: women have no reason or incentive to sleep with a man they have married, unless their bodies are screaming at them to have children (which means I can get laid about once a month on average).
Women sleep with men for many reasons, but I know two reasons my wife-as-girlfriend used to sleep with me. The first was for the pleasure of it, and I know she used to, and still does, enjoy it. I don't want to get too personal, so I'll leave it at that. The second reason was to keep me around, and as my wife, she no longer needs to do this; I'm bound to her through our son and the marriage contract. With only one reason to have sex remaining, it's no wonder our sex life is in the pits, and why most married men can understand what I'm talking about. Single or dating men, this message is for you: you want sex, don't get married.
After all this stuff went down, I really started to think about this whole sex thing once more. First, I reaffirmed by promise not to initiate again; I went six months this time, next I'll try for at least a year, but hopefully not break the promise again. But more importantly, I realized that punishing my wife for her wafer thin excuses for sex was not necessary, and for several reasons:
- It does nothing to help our son, which is the only reason I'm staying married to my wife.
- Punishment makes her defer to me more, but it has never improved our sex life in the past.
- I'm not that interested in having sex with a somewhat overweight (but better than before), flabby middle-aged woman anyway.
So we made up without me apologizing (never apologize to a woman, by the way: they only use it as a reason to abuse you more), and back to the daily routine we went: sexless and monotonous, with 4660 days left on the counter until I can live again.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Back to the past
What a waste of life marriage is.
I recently had a vacation with my wife and son, going back to the city where I first entered this country and where I stayed with my bud and his aunt. Unfortunately, the vacation was only two days long and involved some business, so I didn't have time to go back to see those old grounds. My son and I had fun here and there and everyone talked, but my wife was mostly just around. The whole time reminded me of the petting zoo day we had when my wife was still a giant a-hole back in 2012. Here was our rip-roaring trip of adventurous fun and excitement, sure to put any of my Then and Now experiences as a single man to shame:
DAY 1
7:00 - 7:30 - Waited for my wife and son to get ready.
7:30 - 8:00 - Took a taxi to the train station.
8:00 - 9:00 - Waited for the train to arrive.
9:00 - 10:30 - Rode the train.
10:30 - 11:30 - Waited for the bus to arrive.
11:30 - 12:00 - Rode the bus to an amusement park.
12:00 - 3:00 - Hung out at an amusement park (which mostly involved standing in line waiting), and also sat around and ate.
3:00 - 3:30 - Walked to the hotel.
3:30 - 6:00 - Watched TV and took a nap.
6:00 - 10:00 - Took part in a dull business meeting, and also sat around and ate.
10:00 - Slept.
DAY 2
8:00 - 9:00 - Packed our things.
9:00 - 11:00 - Stood around while my wife shopped, and also sat around and ate.
11:00 - 12:00 - Waited for the bus to arrive.
12:00 - 12:30 - Rode the bus to the train station.
12:30 - 1:30 - Waited for the train to arrive.
1:30 - 3:00 - Rode the train.
3:00 - 3:30 - Took a taxi home.
Like the zoo trip, and most certainly like marriage, the vast majority of my time was/is spent waiting.
Even more recently, I had to go back to the main city to do some immigration paperwork, so I set my alarm for very early in the morning. When I had shaken the cobwebs loose, I woke my wife to say goodbye and ask for luck. She groaned that she didn't want to have sex.
So the previous night, my son and I had drawn together, watched movies together and played video games together, while my wife did nothing but sit in a chair and browse the internet on her phone, alone. And then, in the morning, she denies me sex that I didn't ask for. Can I explain any more clearly how marriage destroys and children enrich the lives of men? Even if I did want sex, I wonder how she would feel if I didn't want to give her $500 one month for her personal expenses because I was "tired" or "not in the mood." After all, it takes me 20 hours to make that money per month, and even if we went at it like rabbits (which we don't), she would only spend around 10 hours a month of lying there and doing little to nothing to get the same reward.
It was very early when I reached the city, and because I knew that my old hostel was nearby, I took a walk down that familiar Odds and Ends street to see if my old hostel was there. I saw the park again, but the computer store seemed to be missing. Also, the overpass was so low to the road that I had to stoop a little to get under it; I had forgotten all about that.
When I finally reached the hostel, I saw the same security guard out front from seven years ago and said hello. He didn't recognize me, but that was ok. After going upstairs to talk with the boss and admire the view once more (and hearing the very, very familiar whine of the elevator as it went up to the top of the building), I headed back out to do my paperwork.
I didn't have any flashes of euphoria or anything, but I did experience my vision expanding slightly as I walked to the hostel. At that time, a map of the general part of the world I was in appeared in my mind, as if I were planning my next adventure around the world, but because it's October, I would actually have just gotten to my new city, and probably be in the process of choosing between five or ten girls to be my girlfriend, right now.
But I married, because I allowed myself to be brainwashed by society into thinking it was an amazing institution. It's certainly not for men: we lose freedom, time, money and sex, and take on the burdens of in-laws, chores, drama and monotony. I know where I would be living right now if it weren't for my stupidity, and I know where I am because of my foolishness.
I have to wait 4697 days to be free, men. If you're married but childless, or haven't yet tied that noose, you're free to go ANY TIME. Don't make my mistake.
I recently had a vacation with my wife and son, going back to the city where I first entered this country and where I stayed with my bud and his aunt. Unfortunately, the vacation was only two days long and involved some business, so I didn't have time to go back to see those old grounds. My son and I had fun here and there and everyone talked, but my wife was mostly just around. The whole time reminded me of the petting zoo day we had when my wife was still a giant a-hole back in 2012. Here was our rip-roaring trip of adventurous fun and excitement, sure to put any of my Then and Now experiences as a single man to shame:
DAY 1
7:00 - 7:30 - Waited for my wife and son to get ready.
7:30 - 8:00 - Took a taxi to the train station.
8:00 - 9:00 - Waited for the train to arrive.
9:00 - 10:30 - Rode the train.
10:30 - 11:30 - Waited for the bus to arrive.
11:30 - 12:00 - Rode the bus to an amusement park.
12:00 - 3:00 - Hung out at an amusement park (which mostly involved standing in line waiting), and also sat around and ate.
3:00 - 3:30 - Walked to the hotel.
3:30 - 6:00 - Watched TV and took a nap.
6:00 - 10:00 - Took part in a dull business meeting, and also sat around and ate.
10:00 - Slept.
DAY 2
8:00 - 9:00 - Packed our things.
9:00 - 11:00 - Stood around while my wife shopped, and also sat around and ate.
11:00 - 12:00 - Waited for the bus to arrive.
12:00 - 12:30 - Rode the bus to the train station.
12:30 - 1:30 - Waited for the train to arrive.
1:30 - 3:00 - Rode the train.
3:00 - 3:30 - Took a taxi home.
Like the zoo trip, and most certainly like marriage, the vast majority of my time was/is spent waiting.
Even more recently, I had to go back to the main city to do some immigration paperwork, so I set my alarm for very early in the morning. When I had shaken the cobwebs loose, I woke my wife to say goodbye and ask for luck. She groaned that she didn't want to have sex.
So the previous night, my son and I had drawn together, watched movies together and played video games together, while my wife did nothing but sit in a chair and browse the internet on her phone, alone. And then, in the morning, she denies me sex that I didn't ask for. Can I explain any more clearly how marriage destroys and children enrich the lives of men? Even if I did want sex, I wonder how she would feel if I didn't want to give her $500 one month for her personal expenses because I was "tired" or "not in the mood." After all, it takes me 20 hours to make that money per month, and even if we went at it like rabbits (which we don't), she would only spend around 10 hours a month of lying there and doing little to nothing to get the same reward.
It was very early when I reached the city, and because I knew that my old hostel was nearby, I took a walk down that familiar Odds and Ends street to see if my old hostel was there. I saw the park again, but the computer store seemed to be missing. Also, the overpass was so low to the road that I had to stoop a little to get under it; I had forgotten all about that.
When I finally reached the hostel, I saw the same security guard out front from seven years ago and said hello. He didn't recognize me, but that was ok. After going upstairs to talk with the boss and admire the view once more (and hearing the very, very familiar whine of the elevator as it went up to the top of the building), I headed back out to do my paperwork.
I didn't have any flashes of euphoria or anything, but I did experience my vision expanding slightly as I walked to the hostel. At that time, a map of the general part of the world I was in appeared in my mind, as if I were planning my next adventure around the world, but because it's October, I would actually have just gotten to my new city, and probably be in the process of choosing between five or ten girls to be my girlfriend, right now.
But I married, because I allowed myself to be brainwashed by society into thinking it was an amazing institution. It's certainly not for men: we lose freedom, time, money and sex, and take on the burdens of in-laws, chores, drama and monotony. I know where I would be living right now if it weren't for my stupidity, and I know where I am because of my foolishness.
I have to wait 4697 days to be free, men. If you're married but childless, or haven't yet tied that noose, you're free to go ANY TIME. Don't make my mistake.
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