Human nature and balance

Humans are a mix of two things: our primitive, base instincts from the animal part of ourselves, and whatever our logical mind has decided that we want to be. The definition of a human is the balance between these two forces... which of the two facets that a person chooses to act upon more often.

It's not difficult to find or define a reptilian human being, and especially not difficult to know countries where either intelligence or reptilianism dominates one or both of the sexes, because what decides the balance between these two forces is the threat of government (or lack thereof) against primitive behavior in either sex. Simply put, if government doesn't force people to be civilized, most people will revert to a more feral lifestyle of violence, manipulation and/or wanton sex. To know what kind of people you'll meet in your country, there are only two questions to answer: first, for which sex's benefit are laws passed and enforced? Second, is there even a strong government around at all?

There is no country today, or any that I can think of from history, where government didn't exist, and women ruled all. Men's physical strength leads them to dominate countries or places of anarchy, so this kind of place is beyond this discussion. But it is in a place with non-existent or short-lived government where we see reptilian man: a violent, exploitive sociopath, where if something cannot provide him sex or resources, then it is something to be ignored or destroyed. There are dozens of countries with this lack of government and ascendant primitive male power, and it manifests itself in the form of endless warfare, rape gangs and genocide squads. They are the absolute worst places in the world to be alive.

Next, when males are empowered and laws exist to protect and serve them, but the government makes an attempt to tamp down their violent behavior, it manifests itself in high rates of domestic violence directed at wives and children behind closed doors. In turn, wives remain in marriage because the laws of custody work against them and they shoulder the abuse, and the children grow up in houses of assault and fear, only to end up turning it on their own children in the future. There are several examples of places in the world like this, and the cycle of abuse rarely ceases in them.

Finally, in most other countries, laws also exist to tamp down the violent nature of primitive man. But more importantly, they also exist to provide women as many advantages as possible, most especially during marriage and divorce. If you can read this blog, then chances are you live in one of these countries.

To know what places these are, look for a country with a significant number of single mothers and the resultant uptick in drug use and crimes committed by their undisciplined children. Look for high rates of female-initiated divorce as they take advantage of the laws to "cash out." Look for unjust, but expected, rulings in family and divorce court that treat almost all divorcing men, regardless of what kind of husbands or fathers they were, as abusers and rapists unfit for having time with their own children. Look for a declining birth and marriage rate, and the destruction of the family unit itself, as the sexual arms race ratchets up between unfaithful males who trade out, and unfaithful females who trade up.

A man who attempts to marry in one of these countries is doomed. I've already discussed the leverage my wife has over me in my Strength post, but here, I think it's important to first discuss what a reptilian woman is like, as I lived with one for several years during my marriage, and for decades during my upbringing.

A reptilian woman is manipulative, moody and ever dissatisfied, where if something cannot provide her validation, safety or resources, then it is something to be ignored or destroyed. This behavior manifests itself in illogical, irrational arguments full of subject changing, deflection and lies, explosive drama followed by emotional shutdowns, the constant manipulation of relationships through threats and lies to create endless strife and warfare between people, the utilization of enforcers or other powerful external entities to punish all supposed enemies, and endless nagging and demands for everyone around her to complete menial tasks.

Where reptilian man demands submissiveness and obedience, reptilian woman demands attention, protection and material goods. There is no blame in this statement; it's just truth. Every one of us is, after all, a descendant of scattered, small groups of human beings that survived a major ice age, and the most successful breeders were those powerful, sociopathic men and the women attracted to said power.

But this is not our destiny. The logical mind is a powerful tool to change a person's life and desires, especially those destructive inner impulses. Through my limited study of neurochemistry, psychology and human evolution, as well as from personal experience, I've found that changing a reptilian behavior to an automatic, logical and healthy one takes a simple one to three months. And yet, so few people decide to make that effort.

And when you add marriage to this caveman mentality, especially in a country where there are no repercussions for engaging in primitive behavior, you get the problems I mentioned above. Marriage and childbirth are basically considered the last stage in life (short of retirement or death), and once reaching that stage, it becomes easy for people to get lazy and complacent, feeling that there is nothing left to accomplish in life and no need to try anymore. Looking back on my marriage with this knowledge in mind, I can see exactly what happened with my wife engaging in her reptilian ways. I'll copy what I wrote in my Combinations post, and add my explanations in bold:

- Late 2007 to September 2008 - Leader/Support. My girlfriend, who later became my pregnant wife, acted nice to me because she knew how great a guy I was. She kept up this act for another year, because she thought I was going to take off before she gave birth, and she wanted to secure my presence with her.

I maintained strength throughout this stage of our relationship and I had the option and ability to step out on her or run at any time (neither of which I did), and I was rewarded with respect and sex to keep me with her.

- September 2008 to December 2009 - Support/Support. After we officially moved in together, our married life followed an extremely predictable, and boring, routine.

During this time, I treated my wife very nicely, but I was also silently moody and miserable on many nights because of everything I had given up. I also spent a lot of time on the computer ignoring her. Although I only once turned this moodiness on my wife, I still left her afraid of my personality and worried that she was losing me, and she rewarded my bad but powerful behavior with respect and sex.

- December 2009 to February 2011 - Leader/Bully. My wife, realizing I wasn't going anywhere, let loose all of the selfish, domineering, rage-filled horsecrap that she had held in check, and I ineffectively attempted to defend myself by using logic against her drama-stirring foolishness. When I did, I got about the same amount of respect and understanding as if I were using the same logic on our seldom angry infant son.

This was when my wife gently asked me to stop using the computer all day, and I listened to her. She was right; I wasn't being a terribly good father, and I had to spend even more time with our son. Unfortunately, by doing so, she knew I was under her thumb, and I was no longer a threatening, powerful man, and thus deserved nothing but her contempt. I was rewarded for my kindness with sex every month or two and flagrant, weekly disrespect.

- February 2011 to October 2012 - Support/Bully. Since fighting my wife's mercurial nature wasn't working, I attempted to concede in every fight, in the hopes that appeasement would make her stop barking at me, and help her understand how much I did for her as her husband. Unsurprisingly, it didn't work, and only made things worse.

By taking this submissive stance, my wife's reptilian behavior compounded. She manipulated all of my free time to do chores around the house while she sat around and watched TV, cut sex off multiple times for months on end, complained when I gave her 90% of my paycheck instead of 95%, and started even more fights than before. My kindness was repaid with even more sexual deserts and hostility.

- October 2012 to today - Leader/Support. After my wife had the abortion, I had been pushed far and long enough. Her stupid drama gets only two responses from me: calm and logical, but direct, reprimands for her childish behavior, then absolute apathy and withdrawal. Depending on the fight, I sometimes use both, or sometimes skip straight to the latter, but both responses work extremely well. I've taken back control of this relationship and turned it from a volatile powder keg, back into a boring routine where I call the shots, and quietly remember my old life.

I became, and still act, aloof with my wife today: roughly 10% kindness, 10% brute, and 80% apathy and withdrawal. Appealing to her caveman intellect, I was suddenly a worthy mate again. I am currently rewarded for my bad behavior with sex every week or two and cautious, submissive respect.

I don't like acting like this, but marriage does this to people: the logical mind goes out the window, and life becomes a monotonous, repetitive sludge that is fit only for instinct, not intelligence. My choice in life is to be cold to my wife to appeal to her reptilian desire to be dominated, or to be nice to her and go back to that shrieking harpy she used to be when she saw herself as the superior between us.

But that's a choice I can make, because I don't live in a country that destroys men on their way out of marriage; anybody who can read this blog and the language that it's in has a much worse choice to make. Yes, I'm talking to you.

I have a choice of balance in my relationship. I can act brutish and aloof enough that my wife respects me and quits her stupid cavewoman drama, but also kind enough that she doesn't consider divorce to take our son away from me. But you, dear reader? The one living in a country that hates half of its population for daring to marry with external genitalia attached? What are you going to do?

You'll probably start off acting nice and sweet to your wife. After all, you married her, you love each other, and you're forging a life together with your best friend.

Then she'll start insulting you playfully. Then insulting you with a half-hearted "Just kidding!" Then insulting you. Then s*** testing you. Then rationing sex. Then using you. Then manipulating you. Then cutting off sex altogether. Then yelling at you. Then getting fat. Then quitting her job. Then spending too much. And the list goes on. So what will you do?

Will you go tough on her to appeal to that reptile within?

There's a roughly 33% chance she'll initiate divorce against you (and about 10% chance that you, the man, will do it), citing emotional abuse (like she even needs a reason in most countries), then take your children and all your assets with her. And the courts will make sure it happens.

Will you submit to her demands in order to appeal to her logical mind?

Her behavior will only get worse, and will end in one of two ways:

First, it can turn physical, and you can accept it for the sake of being with and protecting your kids and end up injured, crippled or dead, or you can fight back and have the cops arrest you for defending yourself.

Second, there's a roughly 33% chance she'll divorce you, citing boredom, then take your children and all your assets with her. Or you can divorce first, and she'll take your children and all your assets with her. And the courts will make sure it happens, dismissing and ignoring all evidence of abuse, while your ex hurts and neglects your children in your absence.

Will you talk with her calmly about the problems, like I tried to do dozens of times in the last several years with my wife?

Your wife is under no obligation to listen to you, because there's no legal or social incentive for her to improve. Moral considerations are a product of the intellectual mind, the very thing that has been disincentivized for wives to use in most English speaking countries. She'll likely either lie that she'll change her ways but not do anything, say that she'll change but give up after a few days, or turn the problem back on you to blame you for something, and make you the one who changes.

And if you keep it up? There's a roughly 33% chance she'll divorce you, citing that you have grown apart or that she needs to find herself, then take your children and all your assets with her. And the courts will make sure it happens.

In any way, you're screwed.

But I don't expect any man reading this to understand what I'm talking about, unless they've already been where I and millions of other men have already been. This is exactly why I gave this advice once, but I will give it again until anybody reading this blog internalizes it: marry if you don't believe me, but DO NOT HAVE CHILDREN WITH YOUR WIFE. It may take days, it may take years, but that mask will slip off and you will become intimately familiar with the reptilian nature of women, and like a man's, it is an ugly thing to behold. When it does happen to you, you don't want your children around or on the way. Ruin your life if you must, but spare future generations, especially your own children, this sick, global degradation of society and human relationships.