Sunday, November 15, 2015

Marriage done right

I was traveling the city with my son yesterday trying to find the temple that I went to next to a river. Because of that, my son and I have been walking every river we can find next to train stops looking for that place so I can see it again and share it with him. To motivate him, I told him it's a magic temple and he can make a wish, and he told me he wants his school to blow up.

While walking about, I was thinking about how I hadn't updated the blog because nothing happened in the last month, and realized that that is pretty much what most "successful" marriage are: ones where nothing happens.

And that's really sad. A successful businessman makes money and uses that money to furnish himself a free and comfortable life. A successful traveler learns languages, sees sights, has new experiences and broadens his horizons. A successful athlete pushes himself to the physical and mental limit and shows his prowess as a runner, thrower, fighter... But a successful marriage with children, more often than not, is one where a steady routine of awaken, work, return, sleep is in effect.

As a single man, I climbed mountains, I had untimed beach trips with my friends, I found my spirit on bad dates, I fended off unwanted lovers and I felt the exciting fear of being on my own, all because I had freedom. Today, while I can still enjoy time with my son, my life is utterly limited. I can't go as far, I can't stay out as long, I can't spend as much: that's life for a married man.

Speaking of my wife, I've been keeping her to the side and below me as usual. About a week or two ago, I asked her a question while she was looking at her phone. When she didn't answer, I lightly punched her butt. She looked up with irritation and knit eyebrows and demanded, "What?!" I repeated my question, then while she answered, I just smirked and walked away. Didn't matter if I was in the wrong, I wasn't going to apologize to a woman because I know the kind of shrieking that leads to. She was practically grovelling the next day when she offered me food, exactly as I expected of her.

She also continues to badmouth American women, giggle like a schoolgirl when I occasionally compliment her and laugh uproariously at all of my dumb jokes. Men at that awesome Don't Marry site, you were right all along.

There really isn't much else going on; like I said, marriage is a whole bunch of nothing where not a whole lot happens, and one day bleeds into the next in a giant slurry. I'm trying to spend as much time with my son as I can so I can teach him not to accept a life of domesticity and to instead live a life of freedom, and keeping my wife in line while I reward her intermittently for her dutifulness. I wonder if I'll feel a huge weight lift off of my shoulders like I did in my vacation in 2012? I'll never forget that feeling of momentary freedom, and I hope I have it again when I'm finally free to go.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Training my wife

Not much has happened in the last month, as time speeds ever quicker towards the day of my emancipation in 4340 days. I did, however, have an insight into what goes into raising a wife. Things were a roller coaster between us when I used to defer to her, and went roughly like this:

2007-2008 - Not pregnant girlfriend submitted to me and rarely caused trouble, afraid I would leave her. Things went great.
2008-2010 - Pregnant girlfriend and wife/mother of our child submitted to me and rarely caused trouble, afraid I would leave her. Things were boring.
2010-2012 - Wife/mother of our child s*** tested me with a big fight in America, I submitted, and she spent the next two years an absolute shrew. Things were hell.
2012-2013 - I stopped begging for sex, then turned on my wife and yelled at her or ignored her for a solid year. Things were boring.
2013-Today - Wife/mother of our child submits to me and rarely causes trouble. Things are boring.

Since the day I yelled like a beast at my wife three years ago, things have improved a lot, but I think a lot of the improvements since were very automatic as I took on my natural role as a man and a leader of a household, rather than the androgynous beta loser that I let myself become and the browbeatings that came with it, as the media and my mother encouraged a man like me to accept. In this post, I'd like to discuss some of the things I did without realizing it to potentially help any other unfortunately married men out there to possibly find peace in their households. Please don't take this post as an invitation to accept the risks of marriage as long as you follow my ideas; I remain firmly against marriage for any man who has dreams in his life or who doesn't have kids, and hope only those men who are currently and unhappily married to find potential advice that they can use.

A few months after the huge blowup I had at my wife, we were watching some program on TV about a woman with financial troubles. My wife was easily suckered in by her sob story, but I wasn't buying any of it. This supposedly poor woman (an American at that, a citizen of one of the richest nations on the planet) apparently was having troubles making ends meet, and wanted the government to step in and help her. But one look around this woman's life was enough for me to cry bull:

- She was easily fifty pounds overweight, maybe more, showing that she had more than enough money for food.
- She lived alone in an apartment that could have housed one or two more people, easily.
- She had a cat, which she had to provide medicine, litter, food and more for.
- She had a computer, a phone and a TV, all of which no doubt connected to the internet, cable and/or satellite.
- She had a huge bed that she could have easily sold.
- She had a huge collection of clothes, especially shoes.
- She lived in, or very close to, New York.
- The apartment was well furnished with things she either didn't need to buy, or could have possibly sold.

When I pointed out all of these things, my wife got quiet. A few minutes later, she suddenly agreed with me and praised me for how observant and smart I was to notice these things.

Over the next two years, every time we watched American women do something ridiculous, selfish or disgusting (divorcing four times, refusing to shave, ballooning to four times a healthy weight, swearing that they could see ghosts in their new houses as an excuse to move out of a place they didn't like, getting piercings or ridiculous haircuts, cussing like sailors or what have you), I would point it out. Every single time. In addition, I would tell my wife how much better the women of this country were (but NEVER tell her that she was specifically better, as that might have led to her becoming an arrogant harpy again).

As a result of this, my wife has, for the past year or so, constantly compared herself to the women she sees on TV from America in two ways: first, she tells me how nasty the American women she sees are. Second, she constantly tries to prove herself to me by asking how much better she is than before, and how much better she is than American women. I offer positive reinforcement every time, but I always couple it with how she can still improve.

Not only this, but I have made it clear about the things I expect from her as I have standards for her, as well. She needs to maintain a decent weight, she needs to shave, she shouldn't feel comfortable enough to pass gas when I'm around, and she needs to keep a clean house. She now eagerly improves herself both to reach this ideal image I have of her as a wife, and as the antithesis of the American women that nauseate me.

I don't know if this information will help you, unhappily married reader, to make your life more purgatorious than hellacious, but perhaps it will. Once you've established dominance over your wife and she happily submits to you, try giving her something to shoot for, and another thing to strain against. I know it's like training an animal, but if your wife is as big a monster as mine used to be, you may have no other choice if you need to remain married for your children.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

I'm glad I left America

If you can read this blog, you probably live in a western, or at least westernized, country. I admit I haven't been to any other western country except Canada (and that was only for two weeks), so perhaps this blog won't apply to you personally. Maybe England, Australia and the rest are different from the culture in America, but maybe this post will resonate with you because they're closer than you think.

Men who want to marry in the west are screwed for numerous reasons as I've laid out in this blog: they lose their dreams, freedom, money and much more, and take on the burdens of drama, debts and in-laws; all this I have already gone through. But for this post, I want to focus on the person anyone might be marrying, a man or woman from the west, through the lens of all the things I don't miss about American (western?) culture. Consider the four pillars of American culture:

1. Obsession with power

When was the last time you knew an American to equate morality or show deference to righteous action? And how does that compare with viewing others as moral or right because of their personal power? This obsession with power swings two ways:

Sometimes people view others as leaders deserving of respect, or virtuous people with golden hearts, because they are the strongest in the room. They're abrasive and brash, they stomp around and yell a lot, they tear down others with their words and actions, they take everything and give nothing back, and because they have the confidence, muscles or lack of compassion, they are the ones deferred to. Even more, these people believe that a person without power is deserving of all of the harassment, trolling, bullying, condescension, insults and attacks on their livelihood that they receive.

Confidence is everything, as I learned many years ago. I developed a powerful personality, bulked up and rode a cruiser motorcycle in college when I realized that power is everything to an American. Once I had done this, my four years of searching for a girlfriend was over in a few months, I had a wide network of friends and people respected everything I had to say. Despite this being a very angry period of my life where I lost my temper and insulted or threatened quite a few people who bothered me on the job or street, I still received much more in the way of respect, sex and friendship than I ever did as a timid, friendly loser before.

The other belief of power is the complete opposite: people without power are the ones with morality. It doesn't matter if they've accomplished nothing with their lives. It doesn't matter if they're murderers, rapists, or thieves, or people who engaged in fraud, slander, assault or any other negative action. Because their group has traditionally been out of power, then every member of that group must be more righteous, intelligent, or good then people in other tribes. These people believe that if someone shares the physical traits of a tribe that has traditionally been in power, then any and all harassment or violence against them is not only justified, but in some cases, encouraged.

I'm not arguing that confidence, muscles or any of these things are wrong or bad, or that being a member of this or that group automatically makes someone good or bad. What I'm saying is that these things should not equate with morality or moral authority... and yet, in America, they do. The effect of this pillar of American culture is one where people pride themselves on a lack of morality or a code of ethics: power is everything.

As for me: I was a member of the latter group, the belief that traditionally marginalized groups are inherently morally superior, during my Progressive days from the end of high school to the beginning of college. I no longer follow either of these beliefs on power.

2. Obsession with irony

I honestly wonder when this started. Americans have an obsession with speaking opposite to what they actually mean:

- "What a smart guy." (What a stupid guy)
- "This is the best car ever made." (I don't like this car)
- "He must have used a lot of brain cells for that." (That was a lazy effort)

While I don't know when this process started, I do know why people do it. First, people in America are hyper judgemental of others (which I'll get to in the next pillar). People fear what they attack others with, so because Americans use and therefore fear judgement, they couch all of their words in ironic double talk to maintain plausible deniability. For example:

- Stranger: "Wow, nice house." (This house is ugly)
- Homeowner: "Hey, I just bought this place and I haven't even finished working on it yet."
- Stranger: "What? I said it was a nice house. Calm down before you strain something, crybaby."

Second, people in America view honesty as being naive, and truth telling as the childish action of the mentally handicapped:

- "This food is kind of expensive for how little you get."
- "No f***ing s***, Sherlock. Did you think that all up by yourself? Thanks for the update, Captain Obvious."

People quickly learn to turn those truths into lie-truths to avoid this judgement:

- "Yeah, it sucks!"

Enjoying things ironically is another way that people protect themselves from judgement, because when enjoying something that's supposed to be silly, low quality or inappropriate, it's redundant to insult it; people already know it's bad. But when sharing something that you enjoy with others in America, it's common for people to riff or overtalk everything they see by judging all the plot holes, bad CG or acting they feel fit to ridicule.

This culture of irony leads to a country of people obsessed with hiding their true hearts and couching everything in a cloud of dishonesty, and to a pervasive fear of judgement.

As for me: I've used irony all my life, and still catch myself using it from time to time to this day. I'm still working hard on eradicating it from my vocabulary to lead a more honest life with myself and others.

3. Hyper judgementalism

Reality TV, Youtube channels dedicated to ripping apart the works of other people, blogs stalking and attacking a single person for months or years on end, American culture is awash with the constant attacks of people and things that the judgemental don't like. This leads to a sense of fear of being judged (which leads to pillar 2 above), but more importantly, it delays personal growth. There is a huge tendency for the judgemental to say things like "I may be scum, but at least I'm not _____."

I understand the apparent hypocrisy of me judging judgement while judging marriage to be not worth the effort, but please understand my main point: judging things to help others or encourage good behavior is markedly different from judging things to feel better about oneself, and judging things sparingly and only when needed is also markedly different from judging every aspect of everything every hour of the day.

The behavior I'm describing, and the irresponsibility and immaturity that arises from perpetually judgemental people who attack others while ignoring their own faults, lead to an entire culture of fingers pointing at everyone and everything but the owner's own heart, delaying growth and evolution for years, even decades.

As for me: When I find something wrong in my life, I turn proverbial floodlights in every direction looking for the cause and solutions. When I came to the realization of how much energy is spent in America ripping apart other people and focusing away from personal fault, I examined my own habits online and ended up very disappointed in myself: every single website and Youtube channel I frequented, top to bottom, involved the judgement of people for their politics, taste in movies or video games, management of an IP or anything else. While I always take myself to task for the mistakes I make and never stop trying to learn and grow from the things I've done wrong in the past, I was still shocked to see how much of American culture had followed me, even in another country. I now primarily surf websites and Youtube channels dedicated to history, religion, science, the paranormal and other things that don't involve grinding others into pulp. It's still a struggle sometimes to avoid my old habits and stay away from the kinds of pages I used to frequent.

4. Hyper tribalism

White vs colored. Men vs women. Left vs right. Atheists and Muslims vs Christians. Old vs young. Rich vs poor. When you destroy a nation's identity and make it xenophobic, hate-filled, bigoted or stupid for someone to love their country and their neighbors as members of their countries, the caveman DNA of humanity will find another way to express its desire to join a group and engage in endless warfare with another group. Such is the case in America, where bands of humans, identifying themselves by a difference in something or another, will line up to engage in battle with their mortal enemies all day and night.

Anti-intellectualism is one of the great results of this warfare between the groups. When your only duty in life is to protect the group to which you belong, intelligence can and will take a back seat behind the primitive desire to see your group succeed and to dash your opponents' proverbial heads on the rocks.

This isn't to say that one or both of any of these groups can't have valid points that should be addressed; rather, this is just another symptom of the cultural bankruptcy of America, where tribethink is more important than objective truth.

As for me: I mentioned that I was a hardcore Progressive earlier, and after that, I was a hardcore Republican/Libertarian until I moved abroad. I have largely expunged every tribal identity I once carried, and remain on constant vigilance that I never slip back into any of those addictive patterns again so I can remain in control of my mind, and better able to get along with others.

As for:

- Drug and alcohol culture leading to chronic conflict avoidance
- One night stand culture degenerating social contact to primitive hominid levels
- Constant social experiments and pranks eroding general social trust
- Incessant cussing showing a lack of respect for self and others
- Welfare parasitism incentivizing sloth and punishing productivity
- Hypersexuality throwing everything noble or intellectual under the bus in pursuit of sex and only sex and leading to rampant STDs, child abandonment and abortions
- Social media addiction making people into egotistical, impatient, and insufferable attention seekers
- Internet addiction giving destructive and dangerous people echo chambers to mutually prop up their sociopathic ideas...
- ...and also giving people the ability to flee from any conversation without accepting blame, criticism or fault for wrong ideas, creating a nation of eccentric, Howard Hughes-like control freaks in real life
- The acceptance of moral relativism and the participation trophy culture creating an entitled nation of lazy people incapable of recognizing fault in themselves, but expecting the world to nonetheless be delivered to them on a platter

And more, these are things I find personally distasteful about America and are more controversial, so I'll just list them here and move on.

Now, with the four pillars identified, perhaps you can imagine people in your family, friends, co-workers or others who embody some or all of these pillars. Until I came abroad, I was a firm follower of almost every pillar and was constantly at odds with enemies that belonged to groups I didn't like. But when I realized that I didn't want to be that kind of person anymore, I slowly started to burn away every one of these hook-legged, blood sucking ticks, fleas and leeches from my heart and mind, and today, I've found a peace that I had never known in America. If I weren't married, my life would literally be as close to perfect as I could make it right now.

And speaking of which, this is where we get into the people of America and marriage. Imagine he/she wasn't just your friend or boy/girlfriend. Imagine this was your spouse... in your house... every day... for the rest of your life.

For men, attached at the hip, under pain of impoverishment and/or imprisonment, you would spend the rest of your life with an immoral, dishonest, irresponsible, immature and anti-intellectual woman, from which the only escape would be divorce. For women divorce isn't usually a problem, but for men, your choice is to bow your head and take this abuse until one of you dies or you divorce, or to establish dominance to curb this behavior and probably end up provoking her to divorce anyway.

If you think it's bad living in America (and anyone from another western country, feel free to comment if your homeland is as bad as America because I'd like to know your views), try being married to someone from the west. Marriage is bad enough because it will rob you in almost every case of your freedom, time, money and dreams, but to do so with a westerner... you are assuredly tempting disaster and ruin into your life.

Sunday, August 2, 2015


Just to reiterate, the update schedule on this blog is not multiple times a day or week, but instead when things happen in my married life that I think warrant a post. From the fact that I update once a month or two, you should get an idea of how uneventful this boring gruel called marriage is.

I think I've covered all of the bases on marriage, but I've also gotten requests for labels on my posts from smart phone users because they aren't showing up on the top page. I've updated the top post with those links at the bottom for easy access.

Now to the news. I've been about thirty pounds overweight for the last two or three years, and though it didn't show, I still wanted to look better for my family. After a very long time spent trying to effectively lose weight, I've found that exercise doesn't do much to lessen the pounds, but dieting does. With that in mind, I've found my exceedingly low metabolism's resting caloric rate and switched to a diet of a small amount of food every day with vitamin supplements, and the weight is just dropping off.

I also told my wife about this, and she noticed my ribs finally starting to poke out and my jawline becoming much more manly and distinct. But after a month or two of me losing ten or fifteen pounds, my wife had remained the same size.

About two or three weeks ago, I saw her sitting in a chair wearing shorts and noticed her thunder thighs. I stopped walking past her, then silently reached down to lift one of her legs to turn it over and inspect it.

"Are you dieting?" I asked.

She remained silent.

"Why not?" I asked.

"I didn't take it seriously," she asked.

"Why not?" I repeated, eyes narrowing. I already knew the answer was because she's my wife and can't get "fired" from this job while we have our son.

She got silent again, then answered, "I'm sorry. I'll go back on it."

A few days later, she did just that, but when I asked her how she was doing with her weight and appetite, she got mad. "Can you stop asking me?!" she demanded, "It's too much pressu..."

That's as far as she got before I shot her murder eyes, tilted my head up in condescension, spun around and charged into the bedroom to get ready for my shower. I ignored her for the next several hours, not even seeing a text that she sent me only a minute after I entered the bedroom explaining her hard work and how she wanted to look good for me. I only saw the preview and ignored it until the next morning, where I was still doing my best to make her feel isolated and uncomfortable.

That night, she came to me to show me some ribs sticking out, and how happy she was to be dropping pounds. I gave her a very brief compliment, then it was back to life as usual. Imagine the advice you would have gotten from Team Woman about giving her space, loving her for who she is, letting her be who she wants to be, accepting anything and everything she does and how you should feel like a complete loser for having any kind of standard for your wife.

Now, I don't doubt that she might end up quitting the diet again in the next few weeks, at which point I will overtake her and actually weigh less than she does (this should happen in about two or three months). I'm so removed from caring about the outcome, though, that I really don't care if she hits four hundred pounds. I'll just stop sleeping with and touching her; I'm here to protect my son, after all.

In other news, in the past week, I've also had a strange callback to the many moments in my single time when I had flashes of euphoria that I've detailed in several of my Then and Now posts, where I:

- See or feel something great
- The world opens up and becomes crystal clear
- A shiver goes up my spine
- I feel free, open and invincible
- The image of that scene is burned into my permanent memory
- Seconds later, it all stops

This happened around twenty or thirty times in the six months I was a free man abroad, but only once or twice in the seven years since. I wonder if I'll feel another flash in 2027 when my son is a happy, mature college student and ready to see the world as a free man without marriage, and I can live again, knowing he has been protected and provided for as best as I could have done.

Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Pimp hand

"So?! Why does that matter?"
Derisive snort with a cocky half-smile, then turn away without a word.

"You should take that to the trash."
"I'll do what I want."
"Problem?" with a smile.

My wife has tested me here and there over the past few months, not even close to what it was like four and five years ago, but she still tested me. And every time, I responded exactly as she wanted: as an aloof, arrogant master of the house, who allows his wife the lucky chance of a lifetime to live with him. It even works on female co-workers to keep them texting or emailing me with deference.

How long would this kind of behavior last with one of my guy friends? Not long at all; I suspect I would be searching for a new clique of buddies within a week or two.

And this is what modern society doesn't tell you: women respond to this behavior because it's in their genetics, their very nature, to follow a man in charge. Completely counter to a man, acting with force to a woman causes her to bow her head, while acting docile will get her to poke and prod and attack you harder and harder until you act like the man she wants you to be.

I find it funny how quickly my wife is to adopt my beliefs ever since the big pushback back in 2012. Since then, she's completely accepted thought control to control her emotions, my substantial distaste of the power and irony obsessed, socially debased, overly judgemental and tribalistic culture of America, and my dream of traveling the world as soon as 2027 hits; it's like she's a little mini-me.

And this is all because I don't let her get away with anything, talk down to me at all or otherwise cause trouble in the slightest. I forced her to thank me every time I give her money until it became automatic, I curtail the praise and compliments to once a week or two, and I respond to almost every time she says "I love you" with a quick smile and nod, or a quick "Same." She is now spending her life chasing me, and she couldn't be happier.

Men, if you married in the west, you won't be able to pull off this kind of behavior with a wife who is ok with pulling the plug and collecting her cash and prizes through divorce (and with the 40% first marriage divorce rate, it seems almost a majority of them are). Even if you marry elsewhere, think hard about all of the many things that you will lose. Are all of those things worth losing for the requirement of being Napoleon in your house?

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

No support

I'm grateful to the influx of generous and understanding commenters that I've gotten recently, and have tried to engage with them as I can to convince them not to ruin their lives with marriage as I have. For anyone who reads this, however, I want you to understand that this is not the norm.

When I was dating my girlfriend, just prior to getting her pregnant in 2007, the online presence of men warning other men not to marry or deal with women in the modern age (but more importantly, women backed up by corrupt and violent governments and state officials) was still in its infancy. I also had no guidance from any of my four fathers on how to treat women with power and confidence, and I had nobody to show me what happens to men railroaded by the system because I never saw any of these things on the news, never saw it in pop culture, and none of my parents ever prepared me for it.

So you might be thinking that now that men are out in droves pushing back against the system that robs and imprisons them after divorce, or incarcerates them during relationships on her word alone, that you would have a strong support system for yourself if you ever began to live with a woman. Maybe you might think that with men finally waking up to the realities of western governments grinding men into pulp would be enough to get you through marriage so you can have that happy family life you've always wanted. I'm here to say that despite the generosity of my latest commenters, you are sadly mistaken if you think most people will have your back.

In this international gender war, you will find three primary teams of people: the first is Team Woman, and is made up of women, their enablers and worshppers, and most mass media. The second is Team Man, is mostly relegated to the internet, and is made up of a variety of different acronyms like MGTOW, the MRAs and PUAs. Finally, there is Team Neutral, the largest of all the teams, made up of people who may or may not have opinions on the whole matter, but don't really care too much. Who among these three can you count on to take your side, have your back and provide you support if you find yourself unhappily married?

Team Woman will not help you. I know this from experience, because about four or five years ago I was going to close female friends or around the net for information on why my wife was acting like a beast. If they had responses, I got the same ones every time:

- When I talked about the things that she was doing wrong in our marriage, I got called a liar, a loser and lazy. People accused me of not working hard enough to support my wife, and wouldn't believe me when I told them what my wife was up to. The only advice that didn't include namecalling were several cries of "seek therapy." This had the psychological underpinning that we were both somehow at fault, even though I was the one sacrificing 95% of my paycheck, doing all the chores in the house, spending all the time with our son, only once raising my voice, while allowing my wife absolute freedom.

- When I talked about the few things that I did wrong in our marriage, like the one and only time I yelled at her in six years, Team Woman pounced on that. They ignored everything my wife did and focused on that one incident to smear me again as a lazy, lying loser.

However, looking at the advice that Team Woman gave to other women was striking in its contrast:

- When a wife had a lout of a husband, Team Woman took her at her word and encouraged her to call the police, to punish him with sex withdrawal or property destruction, or to divorce.

- When she admitted fault with her good husband, Team Woman encouraged her to "find herself" (aka divorce and sleep with other men) or shamed the man for not being strong enough to handle his obviously wonderful wife.

So Team Woman will not be on your side as a man if you get married. But what about Team Man?

You'll get some good information from Team Man, sure, and it will help you to deal with the mess you've made of your life. But if you ever mention to them that you got married, be prepared to be treated as a pariah.

"Doofus," "Immature," "Idiot," "Ten years old," "Fool," "Jackass," "Delusional," "Moron," "Sucker," "Dumbass," "Crybaby," "Whiner," "Cuckold," "Beta Boy," these are just a few of the names I have been called by the few places on the net that have discussed my situation, and who supposedly have men's interests at heart. There are exceptions out there where married men are respected for the wisdom they offer to younger men about not marrying, but it's been my experience that the namecalling from supposed "brothers" is just as brutal as the bullying from Team Woman. I have spent many years in high school and college as the group clown and punching bag (the one everyone insults and beats on, which the punching bag takes so he can "belong"), and I personally will not be going back to it. I also do not recommend men who plan to marry on relying on these supposed fraternities for companionship.

UPDATE: I think a coincidental in-a-row experience of several blogs discussing my situation, with namecalling and false assumptions about my character, made me get the wrong idea. I now think many or most people on Team Man will be supportive, though I still don't recommend getting married because other men will understand your position; all the well wishing in the world won't stop the government or mass media from steamrolling over any father or husband for what they may or may not do right or wrong.

And finally, we come to Team Neutral, people who haven't picked a side of the gender war and who make up the bulk of the world's population. I've mentioned before that if you live in an English speaking country and marry, then your life is over. In that post, I mostly discussed the legal ramifications of getting married in the west, but what I didn't discuss was the cultural aspect.

Imagine if you got married, it turned out badly as most do, and you went to friends or co-workers for assistance. What kind of response would you get? If you answered "stop whining" or something to that effect, then you've probably lived in a western country for as long as I have.

Western culture is absolutely obsessed with two things: power and irony. If you attempt to approach a member of Team Neutral, whether in real life or on the net, with your troubles with marriage, this sets them into a fit. "He's a man, but he has troubles he can't solve?" they think, and immediately move to insult, ridicule and reject you because you have trouble and dare to voice it to others. Westerners, and therefore Team Neutral, love power more than anything else: men follow other brutal men who put down everyone in the group, and women date thugs, criminals and drug dealers. Marry, and you will find no sympathy, no support, no respect from these people.

In addition, western culture's obsession with irony stems from its constant condescending attitudes towards others; people make judgements about others, and in turn fear others' judgement, so they mask their true emotions from judgement through irony and sarcasm. All of this makes it difficult to be honest with others in the west, because when you are, people think that you're weak, childish or stupid. It seems just about everyone speaks opposite to what they mean, whether it be calling beautiful cars ugly, calling their friends a-holes, calling their political rivals geniuses, or the millions of other ways people try to hide their true heart through layers of deception, sarcasm and double talk. If you try to reason with most people in the west about your troubles, and they don't immediately disqualify you because you aren't powerful enough, it's almost guaranteed they will try to make a joke out of your suffering, make pithy, ironic statements like "Yeah, marriage is great, huh?" or some other kind of useless words that do nothing to change your position.

If the laws against you as a married man are not enough to convince you not to tie the noose, try thinking long and hard about the kind of support you usually get from the people around you. Trust me: I've lived alone in an apartment by myself and through a godawful marriage, and I was never more lonely in life than those years I spent with the woman my wife used to be. Even today with a wife who has settled down on the chaos, I am the only one I can rely on.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Raising my son

I finally got to take a trip to the museum that I couldn't get to at the end of Then and Now 18. This time, I went to the city with plenty of time, and with my son. While we were there, we ate hamburgers, checked out some underground shopping malls to play in an arcade, took a walk under the easy sunlight through the wide streets, saw some moss-covered buildings in the middle of the city, visited a cultural center for the natives of this country, and topped it off with that museum so I could finally check it off of my list of things to see. It felt kind of like one of my old Then and Nows, except this time, I had my boy with me. We saw some technological and architectural pieces from several famous inventors and creators, and a couple of art pieces that weren't silly postmodern nonsense like flecks of paint on a mostly white canvas; there was actual depth, in both form and meaning, to them.

When I think of why I found it so fun to be abroad when I was single, I've wondered why it was that I was able to be so happy then. I had first truly awoken to my own personal ability and worth in Then and Now 1 and Then and Now 2, but I wondered: if I had become a stronger man while still in America with similar experiences, would I still have had such a great time? What I mean is, was awakening abroad the reason that I was so happy, or could I have done it anywhere? And was the only reason that I was happier abroad because I was used to not having a stable home, all because my mother shuttled me from city to city, school to school when I was younger on her husband hunt?

I'm not sure if travel was fun because of my shifting childhood, or because of the change of venue from the irony, facetiousness and degeneracy of social life in America. I do know one thing, though: being on my own in a new land provided me the push I needed to get myself into gear, as well as a fun reason to get out there and experience the world to see such newness. Because of this, I am trying my best to give my son all of the information I didn't have that he will need to make the best life choices for himself when he grows up. For sure, I am going to have a very deep and serious talk with him about women, especially western women, because there is a good chance he'll be going back to the USA to get his college degree. I'll go over:

- VAWA and other man-hating laws (which weren't as bad when I left)
- False rape accusations (which I never dealt with because I was a pedestalizing loser who treated my exchange student girlfriend like a princess, only to be treated with disdain in return)
- Socialist brainwashing (which I fell for hook, line and sinker and didn't deprogram until I was 21)
- The friend zone and s*** testing (the former which I was constantly in, and the latter which I failed every time a woman slung them at me)
- Contraception trickery (which I trusted both of my girlfriends with, and look where that got me)
- Marriage (just say no)

But even more than that, just teaching him the negatives of relationships today won't be enough. I need to teach my son that there's a better life out there, to keep seeing the world and never to be trapped by supposedly free and endless sex with one special woman. As such, I'm going to try my very best to make Sunday into a trip day where I can show him as many things of this country, and by proxy this world, and what they have to offer versus the stagnation of marriage.

If he decides to get married or have a child anyway, I'll protest, but respect his decision. But the least I can do is show him that here is a better life out there.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Marriage review, 2014 to 2015

Another year, another review day of the time I spent being married. Let's get to it:


I had zero fights with my wife this year, the same as last year. Once I knew what s*** tests were, how women use them and how to counteract them, I dropped my previous 30+ fights a year to absolutely nothing.


I didn't lift a finger around the house for the entire past year, except for maybe once or twice I did the laundry or dishes. My wife insists on doing all the chores every time, and unlike before, I don't do them anyway like a pathetic, grovelling beggar of female attention and approval.

Were I still single, I would have done every chore once a week. This marks the first time in seven years that my life has improved in some way because of marriage, but saving thirty minutes a week on chores is still not worth the trade-off of everything else I lost by marrying.


I get sex twice or three times a week now, because I no longer ask for it; I just start grabbing and escalating, even when she says she's tired. I've come to realize that she's just trying to act like an innocent, pure young woman when she refuses sex now, which is fine by me because she "relents" quickly and enthusiastically when I push for it. She's even directly stated afterwards how much she appreciated me being "wild."

If I hadn't married, things would be much the same, but I would have more varied (and openly enthusiastic) partners, so while it seems nothing much has changed, things would still be better if I were still single.


I've saved nothing that isn't going towards family expenses or pending college bills, and I've donated $500 to charity.

As an unmarried man, I would have saved $5000 for emergencies, and donated $80,000 to charity by now. That's a lot of children that I could have helped.

Time Off

This year, I had 60 or 70 days off of work, all Sundays and holidays.

As a single man, I would have had two days a week off from work, at least 120 a year. If you include the time when I was planning to take a two or three month vacation every year, this number would be even higher.


I've lived in four cities.

As an unmarried man, I would be living in my eleventh city now, and I have a rough idea of where I would be living at this moment.


I've made two hundred friends, none of whom are still in regular contact with me.

As an unmarried man, I would have made about 2000 friends, and been in regular contact with about 20-30 of them. All those people I could have helped or learned from, all those experiences I could have had, all that potential, gone.

Fun & Adventure

I've had about five fun days out with my wife and/or son, all this year.

If I were still single, I could have written over 1200 Then and Now posts on my great life.


Another year has barreled past with nothing much interesting happening. My son is growing up and heading to first grade soon, my wife is losing weight and acting more bubbly, and I've learned many important lessons on how gender relations should normally be. Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but I still wish I were single. I wish I had more than that six months between getting abroad and my wife getting pregnant. I wish the next twelve years will speed by.

It would be great if I could go to sleep every night and wake up in the body of a single man, live a week in his life, then come back to live a single day of monotony as a married man. That way, I could have a fun and adventurous time in this "dream world," then come back to see my family and spend some fun time playing games or seeing the city with them before I headed back to the dream world once more. But I guess I'll just have to settle for mentally fast forwarding all the boring stuff, stopping only to spend time with my family, and hoping to get to 2027 as soon as possible. I can't wait to be free again.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Such a long time

It's quite strange that even though four months have passed since the last update, it still feels like 2014. Life is so monotonous and repetitive as a married man that every day is almost exactly like the one before. I'm even down to 4559 days left to go before I get my freedom back, but I still think that I'm stuck around 4700 or something.

I've continued to keep my pimp hand strong on my wife, using every one of the techniques of countering s*** tests that I've learned and written about on this blog for the past few years. I'm still kind to her most of the time, but I'm now intentionally making her jealous: showing her wallpaper pictures on my phone of women hotter than she, talking about lunch I've had with my boss or female co-workers, etc... I've never once let her talk down to me, I've never apologized for anything in the past year (even when I was in the wrong), I rarely give her compliments (maybe every few days or once a week) and I even more rarely say that I love her anymore. As a result, sex is on twice a week now. Go figure.

Now that my life has basically been relegated to first world problems, though my single life was miles ahead of, and infinitely more fun than, this sludge, I finally have a taste of what marriage was eighty or ninety years ago. And to be honest, it's still pretty lame. I'm glad I have my son and I spend a lot of time with him, but I think one of the big secrets to my success as a married man to a former shrew of a wife is thinking of her as temp help in the house. I live as if she could cheat at any moment and my only response would be, "If you get pregnant, I'll divorce you. Otherwise, do what you want." This kind of outcome independent aloof attitude is what gets my wife to bow her head or look away shyly when I address her, makes her act like a bubbly teenager when I suggest we do anything together, and what has made her take care of every chore in the house on her own, and begging me not to do them if I attempt one.

Life is going to fly by these next twelve years, and that's not a good thing. But at least it wasn't the hell my life was back in 2010-2012.