Saturday, February 25, 2012

Then and Now 30 - Hospital Crash

Then and Now 30 - Hospital Crash
Time: Mid-2007, single and at the hostel.

My first job interview couldn't have gone better. After emailing an application to a very large language school, I checked the hostel computer and found that I had been accepted for an interview. A day or two later, I quickly and happily headed out to an office building where the language school was headquartered. I went up a few floors and waited in the lobby until a foreign girl came by to see me.

The interview was spectacular. I was confident, clearly experienced, funny and all-around ready to take this job, and by her interested reactions, I was looking at a very impressed interviewer... or at least, a very good actor. The most difficult question she asked was having me tell her of some great trouble I had overcome. I told her that in my youth, I had Social Anxiety Disorder (as soft a euphemism for "suicidally depressed, lazy and self-destructive" as I could think of), but that I had turned everything around several years prior.

She made a note on my application, and I got a bit nervous, thinking that the person who reviewed it would think I was still shy around people, and around my future students. I very, very politely asked her if she could make a note that I cured my problem, and she smiled and said, "Of course! I already did it. But I'll underline and circle it, if you want." I laughed and said that would be great. We shook hands, then I went back to the hostel to drop some papers off... then went right back out to adventure a bit.

A few days later, I got an email saying I was accepted, and that all I had to do was choose from of a handful of cities and positions that I wanted to work in. Truth be told, I was nervous. This was the second school that had offered me a job, and knowing that I had a choice between several positions in several cities, all I could think of was, "What if I pick the wrong job or place? What if the students at the place I choose are out of control? What if the money there is bad? What if the best girl in the world is in city four, but I take the job in city two?"

I relayed my fears to Ken that night, and being the awesome guy he is, he just told me to relax and go with whichever job I thought was best for me. He said that things just had a way of working out, and all I had to do was make a decision, and let things happen as they should. With that excellent advice in mind, I decided to do a little recon and compare what the different cities were like. I had already seen the area for my first job possibility, so I went out to one of the couple of cities that this company had planned for me, one that I had a good feeling about.

I called up the branch there and let them know I wanted to come over and look around, but some irritated guy on the phone berated me for wanting to visit without making an appointment. I apologized, politely refused an offer to make an appointment, then said goodbye and hung up. It all seemed a little blown out of proportion to me. After all, I just wanted to shake a couple of hands and look around a bit; I didn't need a guided tour. In all honesty, I was starting to feel a bit soured on the whole "cog in the corporate language school" idea, and started to lean towards finding a school which was smaller and more family-like. I ended up finding that school a week later, but I'll get to that story another day.

Anyway, I went to check out the city that day. I knew it couldn't hurt to look around a bit, because even if I didn't take the job or need to scout, at least I would have a fun trip. The bus arrived at a hospital, and I got off to look around outside. It was an excellent place: outside of the front doors, there was a large park complete with a pond, trees and benches where patients could go outside and relax. I walked around and took pictures while I circled the pond, and I found quite a few excellent scenes with the hospital rising behind and above the treeline, and the pond in the foreground. After that, I picked a random road outside the hospital and started walking up it to see more of this possible future city of mine.

There were almost no buildings where I went. On my left, the mountains rose slightly up, and there were thick and impressive trees obscuring any view behind them. To my right, the mountain gently sloped down into a valley that was overcome with brush, with a couple of residential houses dotted around here and there. I walked up the wide road for only a few minutes when I saw a small gathering of people at the side.

They were all surrounding an old woman who had been hit by a car and thrown off her bike. I didn't hear any of this happen, but I arrived just as one of the men was helping the woman hobble to the curb to wait for an ambulance. I was over in a flash, gently put her other arm over my shoulder, and helped the man get her to a good place to sit. She was so in shock that she couldn't say or do anything. I waited there with everybody until an ambulance pulled up, then I nodded and smiled reassuringly at the unresponsive woman before I continued my walk. Just a bit later, a cute local girl from a convenience store just up the road, who had seen the whole thing, came out of the store at my approach. She smiled broadly at me and waved, and I did the same before I continued on.

The mountain on my left and the valley on my right didn't change for the whole half an hour or so I walked up that road; they were still as picturesque as ever. Eventually, the road ended in a T-intersection, where the road I was traveling on was stopped by a large hedge that I couldn't see through. I think I had seen enough of this area, so I headed back to the hospital.

I went downstairs to one of the little restaurants to get something to eat, and while I was down there, I saw two local college kids, a guy and a cute girl, talking at one of the tables. When the girl, Elaine, saw me, I smiled, she waved back, and I came over to introduce myself to her and her friend, Jack. We ate together while I asked questions about them to break the ice, and I found out a little about their studies in college, but I don't remember any of the details.

Their bus was arriving soon, and it was the same one I was going to take back to the main city, so we all got on together. We talked for a good hour, Jack and I standing while Elaine sat, and I flit back and forth between them to keep them both entertained. Eventually, Elaine's stop came up, and I exchanged e-mail addresses with both her and Jack. He and I said goodbye to her, then when she was gone and I was alone with him, I could tell he was looking a bit nervous.

I smiled. "Do you like her?" I asked. "Are you dating?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I want to," he answered.

I raised my hands slightly in mock surrender. "Don't worry at all," I said. "I'm just making friends, and I'm not going to get between the two of you. I promise."

He looked a bit relieved, thanked me, then started to open up a little more as the bus continued on. And when my stop came up, I got off and said goodbye. I kept in contact with them for a week or two, and though they eventually stopped emailing me, I still felt happy getting to know them. I didn't end up taking the job in that city, but it was a great trip.

As for today...

I woke up at 5:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I ate lunch.
I watched TV.
My wife went to work.
I played video games.
I played cars with my son.
I roughhoused with him.
I watched internet movies with him.
I took him to the arcade, then we went home.
I watched TV.
I went out to tutor students.
I came home.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I played video games.
I slept.

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Then and Now 29 - Biker Blood

Then and Now 29 - Biker Blood
Time: Mid-2007, at my bud's aunt's place.

I started feeling very grateful for the life I was living abroad not long after I started taking responsibility for myself and having fun. So one day, I decided I wanted to do a little something to give back: I would donate blood. My bud decided not to come with me, and wanted to stay behind to relax at his aunt's place with a cool fan and a warm laptop, so I decided to go on my own. He told me the local words for "give blood" before I left, but I forgot them as I was halfway to the hospital, so I decided to use easy words to try and get my point across when I got there.

In the hospital, I was very careful not to disturb anyone. It was filled from wall to wall with concerned family members nursing their elderly parents in wide hospital beds, and I didn't want to intrude any more than I had to. I got to the information desk and began talking in the local language:

"Hi."

"Yes, what do you need?"

"Can I give blood here?"

"Huh?"

"Give blood. Give other people my blood."

"Please wait."

She got on the phone and called a doctor, looking a little worried. After a quick talk, she put the phone down and motioned for me to go inside. The doctor was seated behind a little curtain, and a patient was seated in front of him. They both looked at me, then the doctor spoke to me.

"Are you bleeding?" he asked in English.

"No, I want to give blood. Can I give blood here?" I responded in the local language.

"What?" he asked, this time in the local language.

"Can I give blood? Give blood to other people?"

He looked at me strangely.

I blinked a few times. "If someone is sick and they need blood, I can give them my blood." I put my thumb and index finger in a pinching motion over my arm, then turned my hand over twice like I was pulling out a needle.

The doctor's face lit up in recognition. "You want to donate blood, is that right?"

I recognized the words that my friend told me. "Yes! That's right. Can I do that here?"

He smiled and shook his head. "No, you have to go to a blood donation *something* (probably "center"). I can tell you how to..." He stopped, looked at me for a second, then pulled out a piece of paper. "I can draw you a map."

I felt embarrassed, but I watched as he drew a functional map on a piece of paper and handed it to me.

"Can you read this?"

"Yes," I answered.

He nodded, finished the map, then handed it to me. I shook his hand, and asked if I needed to pay for seeing him. He said no, then I apologized to his patient for barging in, thanked the doctor, and we all smiled and waved goodbye. With that fun done, I walked out into the heat and started down the street to give some blood.

There isn't much to say about the trip to the blood donation center: it was blisteringly hot, but the path I followed to get to the center led me between several rows of tall buildings for some much needed shade, and I was there in no time. At the corner of a very busy intersection, I found the building I was looking for: it looked like any other office building, and the donation center wasn't marked by either sign or temporary banner outside. I guess enough people knew about it that they felt they didn't need to advertise.

The donation center was on the third or fourth floor of the building. I had spent my life in America giving blood only at traveling bloodmobiles or at hospitals, so to see it in a place where I would expect cubicles and a whole lot of typing was a bit strange. The main lobby was very cozy, and had several tables filled with magazines to read as people waited for their turn to donate. There were maybe half a dozen locals there, waiting and reading quietly. Luckily, the nurse there offered me a form that was in (somewhat muddled) English, so I was able to fill it out with little fuss. Then, I went to sit across from the locals, and struck up a conversation with a heavyset young man who was reading a motorcycle mag.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," he replied.

"Do you like motorcycles?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have one?"

"Yeah, you?"

"I did, back in America. What big is yours?"

"Huh?"

Unfortunately, I didn't learn that question word. "Um... is it 500cc? 800cc?"

He stared at me blankly.

"What's the word for the machine in the front of the car that makes it go?"

"The engine?"

"Yeah, that's it! Is it 500, 600...?"

"Oh, it's 800."

"Excellent. My first bike was a 650, and the next one was an 800. Both Suzukis."

"Su...?"

"S-U-Z-U-K-I?"

"Oh. Mine's a *something*."

I nodded like I understood. "Cool. How fast have you ridden it?"

He smiled. "Not very fast. The streets are small around here."

I laughed. "Too bad."

He was a good guy, but I got the feeling I was making him uncomfortable, so I thanked him for putting up with my bad language skills, and he smiled before going back to his magazine.

Pretty soon, it was my turn. The nurse had a bear of a time trying to find a vein in my left arm, probably assuming that it was my off-hand and I'd appreciate losing it for the next few hours instead of my right. I told her before she started that my right arm was better, because I've never met a nurse who could find the vein in the left arm, but it only took ten seconds for any of them to find one in the right, but she didn't believe me. She worked that thing under and around my skin for a full minute before she finally gave up and immediately found the vein in the right arm. It didn't hurt at all, as most blood donators know: it's the blood sample they take from the back of your hand, or one of your fingers, that hurts like hell.

I lay back in the chair and watched local TV for about ten or twenty minutes, then when the bags were filled, I was let loose to gorge on some good ol' cookies and juice. I even got a hat with the center's name on it, and it's still in my memories box, though I admit I never wore it. And with a little language practice and some interesting people met, and hopefully a life or two saved, I went back to my bud's aunt's place so my bud and I could go out for coffee and tea.

As for today...

I woke up at 7:30.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I watched TV.
I ate lunch.
I talked with my wife.
She went out to the doctor's office.
I played cars with my son.
I roughhoused with him.
My wife came home.
I did the dishes.
I watched internet movies with my son.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I went out to tutor students.
I came home.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I surfed the net.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I started a load of laundry.
I slept.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Then and Now 28 - Sammi

Then and Now 28 - Sammi
Time: Mid-to-late 2007, single and at the hostel, and later at my apartment.

Sammi was another internet friend that I made, but with a very big difference from my other buddies: she made it clear from the beginning that she was looking for a relationship, and wanted to go on a date with me. She was an absolute beauty, and I got pretty excited. When we met up in the main city, she looked just as stunning as she did in her picture.

We talked together for a few minutes as we walked to a Mexican restaurant to get dinner. Outside was this cute little plastic cactus, which I just had to take a picture of. Inside, the place was very bustling. Sammi and I were seated by the waiter, and we had a great conversation about her college life, her brother's life as a soldier, places I had visited, her time in America, and lots of other things. As we waited to get our orders filled, I noticed her flashing her beautiful smile several times, so I took my camera out to take her picture. She was shy, but after a few reassuring compliments, she relented and let me snap a photo.

I ordered a bean and cheese burrito, a quesadilla and a Sprite, my favorites. When they arrived, I had to force myself to be polite and eat slowly; it had been two months since I had eaten Mexican. And although they were both very salty, almost too much for me, they were still delicious and a great reminder of home. When dinner was done, Sammi and I walked out to where she had parked her car. On the way, I slyly put my hand in hers, and I was excited to feel her squeeze back.

Then, things started to take a turn for the worse.

On the way, she told me she came out with another foreigner a few weeks before, and that he abruptly stopped dating her at some point because he wasn't interested in waiting around for her to make up her mind about sex. I thought at the time that he was just a typical foreign guy who came over for nothing but sex and money, but later events with Sammi would change my mind on that. Later, we were halfway to her car when we walked by a foreign guy holding hands with his local girlfriend. I smiled and nodded at them, but when we were out of earshot, Sammi told me that she got irritated when she saw that kind of couple.

I knew immediately that she had had an unhappy breakup with her ex, another foreigner, and that she was comparing other peoples' relationships to her own. I held out the hope that things were going to go smoothly between us, but deep down, I knew I was in for a ride. At her car, I gave her a hug, and she drove off smiling. Despite the bad end to our date, the next morning I was at the main station and called up Ken, telling him that I had a girlfriend. He congratulated me heartily and requested pictures.

The next time Sammi and I got together was for a trip to the place by the ocean that my bud and I had been to in Then and Now 16. First, we took a boat ride on some calm waters, which was fun with all the other locals seated next to us and enjoying the sights. There were a couple of little islands I could barely make out in the distance, all completely covered in trees. Later, we rented a double bicycle and went to a museum that specialized in ancient history, and as she and I walked through the exhibits, I held her hand here and there.

Whenever we got to a lit place or there were people around, though, she let go and walked a bit away. I couldn't place my finger on what was going on, but about twenty minutes later, she filled me in: she said we were going too fast. I was a bit surprised, seeing as how all we did was hold hands, but I was still cool with slowing down for her.

We went outside a bit later to watch a music show with some drummers and stuff, then we biked back to the rental shop. On the way, she told me that she brought another foreigner here on the exact same trip, bike and all, a week earlier: some older businessman. I didn't know why she was telling me this. Later, when we were riding by some people, she kept nagging at me to slow down and be careful, when I very clearly already was. So with that over with, we went to the market area to get some stuff to eat. I had some strawberries and a hot dog, and I bought her a little tube filled with candy with a duck stopper on top. She refused it with a shake of her head. Then she started getting on my case about getting her food, paying for stuff and opening doors for her. Her exact words: "You're a really nice guy. Too nice, maybe... just kidding!"

I got quiet, and planned what I should do to salvage this chance I had with a hot girl. When we had boarded the train home and she started talking about her grandmother's failing health, I offered her my sympathies... then I got choked up about a similar situation with my own grandmother, who I hadn't heard from in years (she's fine, by the way). I can't say it was my most shining moment, and it's definitely one of the top ten things not to do in front of a date, but I'm nothing if not honest on this blog. She said she was sorry, but I could hear the insincerity in her voice. I was glad for our "date" to be over when I got to my stop.

But I didn't give up. I kept in contact with her over the phone until I moved to my apartment. I remember one time when we texted each other while we watched her favorite show, Supernatural, from our two houses. She responded to my third message talking about one of the support characters with "Let's just watch the show, ok?!"

A while later, we met up again for a short walk with her friends through town, walking down streets through the department stores in the center of the city. I went window shopping with them through some clothes stores that offered dresses and suits of impeccable quality. It would have costed months of my salary to pay for a single set, but they were interesting to look at, nonetheless. Outside, I got Sammi alone and confidently told her that I was ok to start dating again, no hand holding or anything, just taking it slow. She said she needed more time, more than the one or two weeks I had given her, and started taking this condescending "stop rushing me" tone. I knew at that point that she was either friend zoning me, or just leading me on.

We met up three more times after that. The first was when she bought me a blanket that I couldn't afford during my first month at my apartment, which was a sweet gesture that I'm pretty sure was only meant to keep me on the hook, but I happily used it anyway. She then criticized my hair for being too long, which I needed to spike it. The second was when we went to get a steak dinner, but she spent most of the time ignoring me, so I just did a little people watching and watched the shop's TV. She insisted on splitting the bill at the end. The third time, we went out to a burger joint, and I saw her with her glasses and no makeup for the first time. I told her she looked great, and that I really liked the natural look and she should keep it. She disagreed, then criticized me for not cutting my slightly long nails.

I smiled inwardly; I was on to her little game by this point, and her beauty wasn't going to distract me any longer. I ignored her for a week or two, happily meeting up with several other girls who didn't treat me like a "Break in case of emergency loneliness" backup plan, until I texted her while taking the bus home from a long, blissful day of travel.

"Hey, wanna be friends?" I asked directly.

"Ok," she replied.

"Cool. We'll hang out later," I answered, then put the phone away and never spoke to her again.

So why would I make this into a Then and Now, when I obviously had a terrible time with this girl? Well, after the first night, take her out of the equation:

- I had some delicious Mexican food for the first time in months, and got a good walk in the night air that evening, hand in hand with a beautiful girl.
- I took a fun boat ride and saw some beautiful scenery of distant islands, I had never ridden a double bike before, I had a great time looking at the old spearheads and other artifacts at the museum, the drummers outside were amazing, and I got some great food at the market area later.
- I went up several floors of a palatial department store and saw some awesome clothes.
- I got a free, warm blanket.
- I had two delicious dinners.

And most importantly, I had enough self respect to cut off a poor influence from my amazing single life, despite never being able to date this beautiful girl after that. Granted it took me a few weeks to realize I was being jerked around, but back in college, there were girls (Leena and others) I pined after for years without realizing how much of an idiot I was being in the process. Now that I'm married, I'm intimately acquainted with what a s*** test is and how I failed them with Sammi, but all in all, those were some fine trips, Sammi or not.

As for today...

I woke up at 7:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the game.
I talked with my wife.
I ate lunch.
I took my son to the arcade, then we went home.
I watched TV.
I did the dishes.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I started a load of laundry.
My wife took a nap.
I roughhoused with my son.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I went out to tutor students.
I came home.
I cleaned up the floor and table again.
I hung up wet laundry.
I did the dishes.
I roughhoused with my son.
I watched internet movies with him.
I slept.