Tuesday, May 26, 2015

No support

I'm grateful to the influx of generous and understanding commenters that I've gotten recently, and have tried to engage with them as I can to convince them not to ruin their lives with marriage as I have. For anyone who reads this, however, I want you to understand that this is not the norm.

When I was dating my girlfriend, just prior to getting her pregnant in 2007, the online presence of men warning other men not to marry or deal with women in the modern age (but more importantly, women backed up by corrupt and violent governments and state officials) was still in its infancy. I also had no guidance from any of my four fathers on how to treat women with power and confidence, and I had nobody to show me what happens to men railroaded by the system because I never saw any of these things on the news, never saw it in pop culture, and none of my parents ever prepared me for it.

So you might be thinking that now that men are out in droves pushing back against the system that robs and imprisons them after divorce, or incarcerates them during relationships on her word alone, that you would have a strong support system for yourself if you ever began to live with a woman. Maybe you might think that with men finally waking up to the realities of western governments grinding men into pulp would be enough to get you through marriage so you can have that happy family life you've always wanted. I'm here to say that despite the generosity of my latest commenters, you are sadly mistaken if you think most people will have your back.

In this international gender war, you will find three primary teams of people: the first is Team Woman, and is made up of women, their enablers and worshppers, and most mass media. The second is Team Man, is mostly relegated to the internet, and is made up of a variety of different acronyms like MGTOW, the MRAs and PUAs. Finally, there is Team Neutral, the largest of all the teams, made up of people who may or may not have opinions on the whole matter, but don't really care too much. Who among these three can you count on to take your side, have your back and provide you support if you find yourself unhappily married?

Team Woman will not help you. I know this from experience, because about four or five years ago I was going to close female friends or around the net for information on why my wife was acting like a beast. If they had responses, I got the same ones every time:

- When I talked about the things that she was doing wrong in our marriage, I got called a liar, a loser and lazy. People accused me of not working hard enough to support my wife, and wouldn't believe me when I told them what my wife was up to. The only advice that didn't include namecalling were several cries of "seek therapy." This had the psychological underpinning that we were both somehow at fault, even though I was the one sacrificing 95% of my paycheck, doing all the chores in the house, spending all the time with our son, only once raising my voice, while allowing my wife absolute freedom.

- When I talked about the few things that I did wrong in our marriage, like the one and only time I yelled at her in six years, Team Woman pounced on that. They ignored everything my wife did and focused on that one incident to smear me again as a lazy, lying loser.

However, looking at the advice that Team Woman gave to other women was striking in its contrast:

- When a wife had a lout of a husband, Team Woman took her at her word and encouraged her to call the police, to punish him with sex withdrawal or property destruction, or to divorce.

- When she admitted fault with her good husband, Team Woman encouraged her to "find herself" (aka divorce and sleep with other men) or shamed the man for not being strong enough to handle his obviously wonderful wife.

So Team Woman will not be on your side as a man if you get married. But what about Team Man?

You'll get some good information from Team Man, sure, and it will help you to deal with the mess you've made of your life. But if you ever mention to them that you got married, be prepared to be treated as a pariah.

"Doofus," "Immature," "Idiot," "Ten years old," "Fool," "Jackass," "Delusional," "Moron," "Sucker," "Dumbass," "Crybaby," "Whiner," "Cuckold," "Beta Boy," these are just a few of the names I have been called by the few places on the net that have discussed my situation, and who supposedly have men's interests at heart. There are exceptions out there where married men are respected for the wisdom they offer to younger men about not marrying, but it's been my experience that the namecalling from supposed "brothers" is just as brutal as the bullying from Team Woman. I have spent many years in high school and college as the group clown and punching bag (the one everyone insults and beats on, which the punching bag takes so he can "belong"), and I personally will not be going back to it. I also do not recommend men who plan to marry on relying on these supposed fraternities for companionship.

UPDATE: I think a coincidental in-a-row experience of several blogs discussing my situation, with namecalling and false assumptions about my character, made me get the wrong idea. I now think many or most people on Team Man will be supportive, though I still don't recommend getting married because other men will understand your position; all the well wishing in the world won't stop the government or mass media from steamrolling over any father or husband for what they may or may not do right or wrong.

And finally, we come to Team Neutral, people who haven't picked a side of the gender war and who make up the bulk of the world's population. I've mentioned before that if you live in an English speaking country and marry, then your life is over. In that post, I mostly discussed the legal ramifications of getting married in the west, but what I didn't discuss was the cultural aspect.

Imagine if you got married, it turned out badly as most do, and you went to friends or co-workers for assistance. What kind of response would you get? If you answered "stop whining" or something to that effect, then you've probably lived in a western country for as long as I have.

Western culture is absolutely obsessed with two things: power and irony. If you attempt to approach a member of Team Neutral, whether in real life or on the net, with your troubles with marriage, this sets them into a fit. "He's a man, but he has troubles he can't solve?" they think, and immediately move to insult, ridicule and reject you because you have trouble and dare to voice it to others. Westerners, and therefore Team Neutral, love power more than anything else: men follow other brutal men who put down everyone in the group, and women date thugs, criminals and drug dealers. Marry, and you will find no sympathy, no support, no respect from these people.

In addition, western culture's obsession with irony stems from its constant condescending attitudes towards others; people make judgements about others, and in turn fear others' judgement, so they mask their true emotions from judgement through irony and sarcasm. All of this makes it difficult to be honest with others in the west, because when you are, people think that you're weak, childish or stupid. It seems just about everyone speaks opposite to what they mean, whether it be calling beautiful cars ugly, calling their friends a-holes, calling their political rivals geniuses, or the millions of other ways people try to hide their true heart through layers of deception, sarcasm and double talk. If you try to reason with most people in the west about your troubles, and they don't immediately disqualify you because you aren't powerful enough, it's almost guaranteed they will try to make a joke out of your suffering, make pithy, ironic statements like "Yeah, marriage is great, huh?" or some other kind of useless words that do nothing to change your position.

If the laws against you as a married man are not enough to convince you not to tie the noose, try thinking long and hard about the kind of support you usually get from the people around you. Trust me: I've lived alone in an apartment by myself and through a godawful marriage, and I was never more lonely in life than those years I spent with the woman my wife used to be. Even today with a wife who has settled down on the chaos, I am the only one I can rely on.

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Raising my son

I finally got to take a trip to the museum that I couldn't get to at the end of Then and Now 18. This time, I went to the city with plenty of time, and with my son. While we were there, we ate hamburgers, checked out some underground shopping malls to play in an arcade, took a walk under the easy sunlight through the wide streets, saw some moss-covered buildings in the middle of the city, visited a cultural center for the natives of this country, and topped it off with that museum so I could finally check it off of my list of things to see. It felt kind of like one of my old Then and Nows, except this time, I had my boy with me. We saw some technological and architectural pieces from several famous inventors and creators, and a couple of art pieces that weren't silly postmodern nonsense like flecks of paint on a mostly white canvas; there was actual depth, in both form and meaning, to them.

When I think of why I found it so fun to be abroad when I was single, I've wondered why it was that I was able to be so happy then. I had first truly awoken to my own personal ability and worth in Then and Now 1 and Then and Now 2, but I wondered: if I had become a stronger man while still in America with similar experiences, would I still have had such a great time? What I mean is, was awakening abroad the reason that I was so happy, or could I have done it anywhere? And was the only reason that I was happier abroad because I was used to not having a stable home, all because my mother shuttled me from city to city, school to school when I was younger on her husband hunt?

I'm not sure if travel was fun because of my shifting childhood, or because of the change of venue from the irony, facetiousness and degeneracy of social life in America. I do know one thing, though: being on my own in a new land provided me the push I needed to get myself into gear, as well as a fun reason to get out there and experience the world to see such newness. Because of this, I am trying my best to give my son all of the information I didn't have that he will need to make the best life choices for himself when he grows up. For sure, I am going to have a very deep and serious talk with him about women, especially western women, because there is a good chance he'll be going back to the USA to get his college degree. I'll go over:

- VAWA and other man-hating laws (which weren't as bad when I left)
- False rape accusations (which I never dealt with because I was a pedestalizing loser who treated my exchange student girlfriend like a princess, only to be treated with disdain in return)
- Socialist brainwashing (which I fell for hook, line and sinker and didn't deprogram until I was 21)
- The friend zone and s*** testing (the former which I was constantly in, and the latter which I failed every time a woman slung them at me)
- Contraception trickery (which I trusted both of my girlfriends with, and look where that got me)
- Marriage (just say no)

But even more than that, just teaching him the negatives of relationships today won't be enough. I need to teach my son that there's a better life out there, to keep seeing the world and never to be trapped by supposedly free and endless sex with one special woman. As such, I'm going to try my very best to make Sunday into a trip day where I can show him as many things of this country, and by proxy this world, and what they have to offer versus the stagnation of marriage.

If he decides to get married or have a child anyway, I'll protest, but respect his decision. But the least I can do is show him that here is a better life out there.

Friday, May 1, 2015

Marriage review, 2014 to 2015

Another year, another review day of the time I spent being married. Let's get to it:


I had zero fights with my wife this year, the same as last year. Once I knew what s*** tests were, how women use them and how to counteract them, I dropped my previous 30+ fights a year to absolutely nothing.


I didn't lift a finger around the house for the entire past year, except for maybe once or twice I did the laundry or dishes. My wife insists on doing all the chores every time, and unlike before, I don't do them anyway like a pathetic, grovelling beggar of female attention and approval.

Were I still single, I would have done every chore once a week. This marks the first time in seven years that my life has improved in some way because of marriage, but saving thirty minutes a week on chores is still not worth the trade-off of everything else I lost by marrying.


I get sex twice or three times a week now, because I no longer ask for it; I just start grabbing and escalating, even when she says she's tired. I've come to realize that she's just trying to act like an innocent, pure young woman when she refuses sex now, which is fine by me because she "relents" quickly and enthusiastically when I push for it. She's even directly stated afterwards how much she appreciated me being "wild."

If I hadn't married, things would be much the same, but I would have more varied (and openly enthusiastic) partners, so while it seems nothing much has changed, things would still be better if I were still single.


I've saved nothing that isn't going towards family expenses or pending college bills, and I've donated $500 to charity.

As an unmarried man, I would have saved $5000 for emergencies, and donated $80,000 to charity by now. That's a lot of children that I could have helped.

Time Off

This year, I had 60 or 70 days off of work, all Sundays and holidays.

As a single man, I would have had two days a week off from work, at least 120 a year. If you include the time when I was planning to take a two or three month vacation every year, this number would be even higher.


I've lived in four cities.

As an unmarried man, I would be living in my eleventh city now, and I have a rough idea of where I would be living at this moment.


I've made two hundred friends, none of whom are still in regular contact with me.

As an unmarried man, I would have made about 2000 friends, and been in regular contact with about 20-30 of them. All those people I could have helped or learned from, all those experiences I could have had, all that potential, gone.

Fun & Adventure

I've had about five fun days out with my wife and/or son, all this year.

If I were still single, I could have written over 1200 Then and Now posts on my great life.


Another year has barreled past with nothing much interesting happening. My son is growing up and heading to first grade soon, my wife is losing weight and acting more bubbly, and I've learned many important lessons on how gender relations should normally be. Things aren't as bad as they used to be, but I still wish I were single. I wish I had more than that six months between getting abroad and my wife getting pregnant. I wish the next twelve years will speed by.

It would be great if I could go to sleep every night and wake up in the body of a single man, live a week in his life, then come back to live a single day of monotony as a married man. That way, I could have a fun and adventurous time in this "dream world," then come back to see my family and spend some fun time playing games or seeing the city with them before I headed back to the dream world once more. But I guess I'll just have to settle for mentally fast forwarding all the boring stuff, stopping only to spend time with my family, and hoping to get to 2027 as soon as possible. I can't wait to be free again.