Monday, May 19, 2014


About a week or two ago, my wife directly asked me why I never initiate sex with her or wake her up anymore for it. She was sitting behind me on the couch while I was using the computer, and without looking at her, I finally told her about her constant sex refusals and why I never want to initiate with her again.

After a brief moment of denial, and me subsequently telling her exactly how and when she refused, she got very apologetic and came up behind me to hug my shoulders, as if she were trying to comfort me or something. She apologized several times and claimed that it was all a misunderstanding, then said that she had to be more noticeable of someone who was "a little sensitive" like me. She completely missed the point in that it was her actions that led to this, but I wasn't about to set her straight and turn this clear pivot of power back to me into a fight. So instead, I just hummed or gave vague one word answers to all her questions and comments like "Yeah" or "Uh huh," which she seemed to accept.

Ever since that day, she's been messaging my phone over and over and telling me multiple times that she loves me, and ramping up the sexual overtones and sex initiations to multiple times a week, with all these actions done more times than at any time in the last four or five years. I still don't want sex with her, and probably never will again, but I still go along with it so I don't push her into divorce or anything. It's just a good sign that she has relegated herself to the subservient position in this marriage where she should be, after she showed herself to be the abusive, selfish witch that she was from 2010-2012 and not being able to be trusted with that kind of power. This is all also a localized reaffirmation that women respond to apathy, coldness and withdrawal with love, affection and praise, exactly the opposite of what most media and family would lead you to believe.

As for me, nothing is really going on. I go to work and go home, I spend time with my son, I remember how things used to be, and I keep counting down until my freedom comes, when I never have to live another day as a slave for the rest of eternity.

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