Saturday, September 8, 2012

Tilting scales

My wife said we could have sex tonight. It would have been the first time in almost four months.

I wasn't interested at all. She's heavily overweight, she acts like my mother, and to be honest, I can think of it as nothing more than a carrot that she uses to boss me around. Now, aside from cooking once every other day (which I don't really care about), she does absolutely nothing for me in this marriage.

She's already promised sex several times before, only to not follow through, and little by little, I've weaned myself off of it, and her. She's really dug her own grave on this one, because her constant refusals have made me completely uninterested in her, so she's basically given up the second biggest source of power over me; all she has left is our son. I can't even remember a single time in the last year or two where we had sex and she didn't give out some kind of order, like "Can you hurry up?" This is from the woman who used to wake me up in the middle of the night for it.

I didn't even look at her while I watched TV, and the conversation went like this:

"We can do it tonight."
"I don't have any condoms."

Then she went to bed without another word. Obviously, if she were really interested, she would have proclaimed, "Wait right here!" then bounded downstairs to get them herself. But she didn't. And I don't want to have sex with people that aren't willing. Rapists love that; I don't.

Fourteen more years, and this won't be an issue anymore. Fourteen more years, and I will have a sex life again, with or without her. Fourteen more years, and I will never make the weak, ignorant, moronic decision to marry, ever again.

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