I called my wife, and after a little small talk, she said we could have sex sometime next week, which would be the first time in almost four months.
I hummed in agreement, then changed the subject. This is probably the fifth or sixth time she's promised me since the last time we had sex in May, and I gave her the same response every time. She has made and broken this promise throughout the course of our marriage more times than we've actually had sex, and I've played the part of Charlie Brown to her Lucy more times than I can remember to believe her now.
On a related note, I can at least thank marriage for one thing: I've learned the true secret of emotional control because of it. Emotions are basically automatic thoughts, so as long as I control my thoughts, I can keep all negative emotions from taking root, much less taking over. In this case, I have a choice of thinking of my wife as a selfish person who only portions out sex when she's interested with no thought whatsoever to my desires, or I can believe what she told me, that she hasn't asked because I'm working so much and I seem too tired. The latter leaves me more emotionally stable, so I believe it, regardless of the truth.
This even happens with thoughts of my old life. Sometimes when I'm at home, I see a TV show about people traveling the world and enjoying themselves. From that, I sometimes have a flash of the life that I myself had before I married: where I was standing, what I was doing, the clothes I was wearing, the openness of the world, everything. In those moments, I often get a sudden burst of intense anger at what I gave up to become the drudge I am today, but it takes a literal split second to stamp out the thought, and subsequently, the feeling. It's hard to describe, but this is what it feels like:
BeautifulsightflashbackhappinessrealityRAGEQUIETnothing
I'm basically playing Whack-A-Mole with my own emotions. I've gotten so good at it that it's automatic and instantaneous to go from fury, sexual frustration, depression, regret or the like, to zoning out into nothingness. Naturally, I wouldn't need to do this every day if I were still a free man, but at least I have a way to bear marriage until it's finally over.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Then and Now 44 - Bean Walk
Then and Now 44 - Bean Walk
Time: Late 2007, dating my wife.
For the sake of this Then and Now, I'm going to refer to my wife as my girlfriend.
A few weeks after I first moved into my apartment, my mom sent me a care package from America. Usually she sent things like candy, cookies and other assorted goodies, but this time, she only sent me five things: a dozen cans of Rosarita beans, a bag full of packets of my favorite salsa, a small bag of flour, a can of salt and a tortilla maker. I smiled when I got it. My mom knows very well what my favorite food in the whole world is, so I bought cheese from the supermarket, learned how to make the tortillas and feasted on burritos that night. I made sure to send her a very happy thank you email later, too.
I started dating my girlfriend a little after I got that package, and by the time she started regularly coming over to my apartment to stay the night, I still had plenty of bean cans left. She had never eaten bean and cheese burritos before, much less with my favorite salsa on top, and when she first tried one, she looked like she was in heaven. I felt a bit bad that all I could make were homemade ones and that my favorite ones were back home, but she didn't mind at all. I promised to take her back to America and try the real thing someday.
We ate them almost every weekend she came over, until I was finally just about out of beans. Luckily, this was also shortly after the time I had already found out where I could buy more in Then and Now 20, so after we ate the last can of beans and slept together that Saturday night, I took her to the main city to refuel. We took the usual bus/subway trip on over to the main city, and when we got to the stop, she found a shuttle that went up the street to a bus that led straight to the shop.
I had a great time inside showing her some of my favorite foods, and she encouraged me to buy a bunch of things so I could enjoy myself (and so she could try a bit, too). I paid, then lugged the pair of heavy bags outside and towards the subway stop. My girlfriend insisted that she hold one of them, but I said I was fine, and wanted her to enjoy a nice walk outside.
We crossed the street towards a large, grassy field, and as we headed back to the subway, we came across a bus stop. She insisted that we wait for a bus and take it easy on the way back, but I said that there were some great sights we could see if we walked. She seemed concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle the walk back with the heavy bags, and that she might not be able to make it on foot, either. But after very little convincing, she agreed with me, put a bright smile on her face, and followed me on our path back to my apartment. I can only imagine the shouts, insults, silence, death glares, sex withholding and condescension that would have resulted if she were my wife then.
We walked past a lot of other stores on the way back, and a couple of foreigners, too. They were just as fat, bald and middle-aged as when I saw them last, and just as cold, too. I told my girl about the usual responses I got from foreigners that I walked by, and she wondered why they were acting so rude. I told her it was because I was handsome, young and friendly, but that they only saw me as competition for their jobs and girls. She laughed, until I put the idea to the test.
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 1: (Turned his head 90 degrees to the left, pretended to look at something, looked straight ahead once more when he was safely past us)
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 2: (Stared straight ahead with eyebrows knit in irritation, said nothing)
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 3: (Stared straight ahead, mumbled something incoherently, scurried away)
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 4: (Aped Foreigner 1)
It was a parade of pitiful men, and not a one greeted me in any way resembling a man. My girlfriend was stunned, and I smiled warmly at her. "I'll never treat ya like that!" I proclaimed, and she jokingly thanked me.
After almost an hour of walking, my girl looked pretty ragged out. I was doing fine because I had spent the weekends at my bud's aunt's place, the hostel and my apartment walking around the city for five to ten hours a day, but I was starting to feel bad for her. I asked if she wanted to wait for a bus, but she pumped her fist up and said that she could do it. I felt inspired and happy about the choice I had made in such a great girlfriend.
We eventually reached an underpass with cars zooming on it, and I took her from the pedestrian walkway over to the side of the road, where it sloped down to a fence overlooking a river. I took pity on her, and rested with her above the waters so we could watch some fish darting about beneath the waters, and the grass swaying in the wind. After a bit, I congratulated her on her coming this far with me. She replied by thanking me for believing in her, then in no time, we were back at the subway station and on our way back to my apartment, goodies in tow.
As for today...
I woke up at 6:30.
I played video games.
I went to work by train, and played video games on the way.
I taught students.
I came home by train, and played video games on the way.
I ate lunch.
I watched TV.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I started a load of laundry.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I roughhoused with my son and played in his fort.
I watched internet movies with him.
I hung up wet laundry.
I slept.
Time: Late 2007, dating my wife.
For the sake of this Then and Now, I'm going to refer to my wife as my girlfriend.
A few weeks after I first moved into my apartment, my mom sent me a care package from America. Usually she sent things like candy, cookies and other assorted goodies, but this time, she only sent me five things: a dozen cans of Rosarita beans, a bag full of packets of my favorite salsa, a small bag of flour, a can of salt and a tortilla maker. I smiled when I got it. My mom knows very well what my favorite food in the whole world is, so I bought cheese from the supermarket, learned how to make the tortillas and feasted on burritos that night. I made sure to send her a very happy thank you email later, too.
I started dating my girlfriend a little after I got that package, and by the time she started regularly coming over to my apartment to stay the night, I still had plenty of bean cans left. She had never eaten bean and cheese burritos before, much less with my favorite salsa on top, and when she first tried one, she looked like she was in heaven. I felt a bit bad that all I could make were homemade ones and that my favorite ones were back home, but she didn't mind at all. I promised to take her back to America and try the real thing someday.
We ate them almost every weekend she came over, until I was finally just about out of beans. Luckily, this was also shortly after the time I had already found out where I could buy more in Then and Now 20, so after we ate the last can of beans and slept together that Saturday night, I took her to the main city to refuel. We took the usual bus/subway trip on over to the main city, and when we got to the stop, she found a shuttle that went up the street to a bus that led straight to the shop.
I had a great time inside showing her some of my favorite foods, and she encouraged me to buy a bunch of things so I could enjoy myself (and so she could try a bit, too). I paid, then lugged the pair of heavy bags outside and towards the subway stop. My girlfriend insisted that she hold one of them, but I said I was fine, and wanted her to enjoy a nice walk outside.
We crossed the street towards a large, grassy field, and as we headed back to the subway, we came across a bus stop. She insisted that we wait for a bus and take it easy on the way back, but I said that there were some great sights we could see if we walked. She seemed concerned that I wouldn't be able to handle the walk back with the heavy bags, and that she might not be able to make it on foot, either. But after very little convincing, she agreed with me, put a bright smile on her face, and followed me on our path back to my apartment. I can only imagine the shouts, insults, silence, death glares, sex withholding and condescension that would have resulted if she were my wife then.
We walked past a lot of other stores on the way back, and a couple of foreigners, too. They were just as fat, bald and middle-aged as when I saw them last, and just as cold, too. I told my girl about the usual responses I got from foreigners that I walked by, and she wondered why they were acting so rude. I told her it was because I was handsome, young and friendly, but that they only saw me as competition for their jobs and girls. She laughed, until I put the idea to the test.
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 1: (Turned his head 90 degrees to the left, pretended to look at something, looked straight ahead once more when he was safely past us)
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 2: (Stared straight ahead with eyebrows knit in irritation, said nothing)
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 3: (Stared straight ahead, mumbled something incoherently, scurried away)
Me: Hi!
Foreigner 4: (Aped Foreigner 1)
It was a parade of pitiful men, and not a one greeted me in any way resembling a man. My girlfriend was stunned, and I smiled warmly at her. "I'll never treat ya like that!" I proclaimed, and she jokingly thanked me.
After almost an hour of walking, my girl looked pretty ragged out. I was doing fine because I had spent the weekends at my bud's aunt's place, the hostel and my apartment walking around the city for five to ten hours a day, but I was starting to feel bad for her. I asked if she wanted to wait for a bus, but she pumped her fist up and said that she could do it. I felt inspired and happy about the choice I had made in such a great girlfriend.
We eventually reached an underpass with cars zooming on it, and I took her from the pedestrian walkway over to the side of the road, where it sloped down to a fence overlooking a river. I took pity on her, and rested with her above the waters so we could watch some fish darting about beneath the waters, and the grass swaying in the wind. After a bit, I congratulated her on her coming this far with me. She replied by thanking me for believing in her, then in no time, we were back at the subway station and on our way back to my apartment, goodies in tow.
As for today...
I woke up at 6:30.
I played video games.
I went to work by train, and played video games on the way.
I taught students.
I came home by train, and played video games on the way.
I ate lunch.
I watched TV.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I started a load of laundry.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I roughhoused with my son and played in his fort.
I watched internet movies with him.
I hung up wet laundry.
I slept.
Monday, August 13, 2012
Then and Now 43 - Bored
Then and Now 43 - Bored
Time: Mid-2007, single and at my apartment.
I went out one day from my apartment to go see some sights around a single subway stop in the city. There were several places I had the opportunity to choose from, but I was most interested in seeing two of them: some kind of civic center or arena, and a community center.
I got to the stop and had only walked for a few minutes before I came across a nostalgic place: I was on the sidewalk walking up a four lane street, two each way, with a long line of trees running down a median in the center. To my left were several large houses, not apartment buildings like the ones I was used to seeing in my poorer neighborhood. It looked exactly like the street that I lived next to while living at my grandma's house back in America. Even funnier, when I walked up the street into the center of a busy commercial district, one of the first businesses I saw was a steakhouse with her name on it. I smiled broadly and chuckled, then took a picture to show her for the next time I was back in America.
I walked down the busy street through several rows of stores. I still remember seeing several coffee houses, a couple of little independent convenience stores, and a bar with some college kids standing outside. I zigzagged up and right several times, basically trying to wander to the civic center, and within minutes, I found the place I was looking for.
Some construction was taking place behind a short metal gate and under a long metal awning, and across the street was the sports center which was unfortunately still under construction. It was about three or four stories tall and looked like it would someday house some great music shows or sporting events, but for that day, I had to hold off on seeing anything more interesting than crews erecting walls and messing with wiring.
Despite the setback, I continued through the construction zone and headed straight until the buildings got shorter, and I started to get funnier and funnier looks from the locals, who were obviously unused to having a foreigner walking around that non-tourist area. I stopped at a convenience store to get a drink, and asked the boss there if she knew where the community center was. She pointed me in the correct direction, and I headed off. Before I got there, I came upon a very wide street that forked into two directions. There was a wall of trees on one side of the road, and on the other were two shopping centers, one right next to the other. I think this area and the malls were on my list, so I went in to take a look.
And for the only time in my life abroad, I started to get bored.
I think by that point, that I was starting to push a hundred shopping malls and department stores visited, and try as I did to find something special about this area, they were just stores. I went into one of the buildings and walked up the stairs inside, past a huge number of stores that I completely don't remember. Then I went downstairs to the other shopping place, and rode an escalator inside to the top. It was kind of interesting because all of the walls were made of glass and transparent to the world outside, but I still found it pretty dull to be looking around yet more clothes stores. It was looking to be a bust that day, and I very briefly wondered if I was just going to spend the rest of my traveling days going from one shopping place to another.
I struck that thought down immediately, and focused even more heavily on finding something that I wanted to see. Thoughts like that were what turned me into the slug that I was at my bud's aunt's place, in those first two weeks abroad. And even though it takes several weeks of constant negative thinking to make those emotions automatic, I wasn't about to let them pull me down then, even for a single day. So I left the shopping center and headed a couple of blocks down, and found the community center.
The lobby was huge, but sparsely staffed. There were a couple of pamphlets on racks by the door, and a few signs advertising what was going on that day. By this point, my local language skills had gotten much, much better, so it was only a few seconds after I read the welcome sign that I saw an art exhibit was going on a floor or two up. I went up and saw some very well-dressed locals showing off some pictures hanging on the walls. They welcomed me heartily and let me roam to enjoy the exhibit.
The pictures were quite stunning. One was a nature piece in the old local style, another was a picture of Jesus who looked kind of like a local, and there were several beautiful nature pieces of mountains, a forest and the ocean. I took out my camera, then hesitated, not knowing if it was ok. As I was asking one of the artists if I could take a picture, I simultaneously saw a sign that said it wasn't ok.
The boss of the exhibit overheard us, then came over to me and said I could take a picture or two. I thanked them, then snapped a few photos to show my friends later. I headed home shortly after, happy knowing that I didn't let a good day go to waste, despite the middle stumble.
As for today...
I woke up at 7:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the game.
I played cars with my son.
I ate lunch.
I prepared teaching lessons.
I watched TV.
I built my son a fort, then roughhoused with him inside.
I played cars with him.
I watched internet movies with him.
I surfed the net.
My son fell asleep.
I played video games.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I did the dishes.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I slept.
Time: Mid-2007, single and at my apartment.
I went out one day from my apartment to go see some sights around a single subway stop in the city. There were several places I had the opportunity to choose from, but I was most interested in seeing two of them: some kind of civic center or arena, and a community center.
I got to the stop and had only walked for a few minutes before I came across a nostalgic place: I was on the sidewalk walking up a four lane street, two each way, with a long line of trees running down a median in the center. To my left were several large houses, not apartment buildings like the ones I was used to seeing in my poorer neighborhood. It looked exactly like the street that I lived next to while living at my grandma's house back in America. Even funnier, when I walked up the street into the center of a busy commercial district, one of the first businesses I saw was a steakhouse with her name on it. I smiled broadly and chuckled, then took a picture to show her for the next time I was back in America.
I walked down the busy street through several rows of stores. I still remember seeing several coffee houses, a couple of little independent convenience stores, and a bar with some college kids standing outside. I zigzagged up and right several times, basically trying to wander to the civic center, and within minutes, I found the place I was looking for.
Some construction was taking place behind a short metal gate and under a long metal awning, and across the street was the sports center which was unfortunately still under construction. It was about three or four stories tall and looked like it would someday house some great music shows or sporting events, but for that day, I had to hold off on seeing anything more interesting than crews erecting walls and messing with wiring.
Despite the setback, I continued through the construction zone and headed straight until the buildings got shorter, and I started to get funnier and funnier looks from the locals, who were obviously unused to having a foreigner walking around that non-tourist area. I stopped at a convenience store to get a drink, and asked the boss there if she knew where the community center was. She pointed me in the correct direction, and I headed off. Before I got there, I came upon a very wide street that forked into two directions. There was a wall of trees on one side of the road, and on the other were two shopping centers, one right next to the other. I think this area and the malls were on my list, so I went in to take a look.
And for the only time in my life abroad, I started to get bored.
I think by that point, that I was starting to push a hundred shopping malls and department stores visited, and try as I did to find something special about this area, they were just stores. I went into one of the buildings and walked up the stairs inside, past a huge number of stores that I completely don't remember. Then I went downstairs to the other shopping place, and rode an escalator inside to the top. It was kind of interesting because all of the walls were made of glass and transparent to the world outside, but I still found it pretty dull to be looking around yet more clothes stores. It was looking to be a bust that day, and I very briefly wondered if I was just going to spend the rest of my traveling days going from one shopping place to another.
I struck that thought down immediately, and focused even more heavily on finding something that I wanted to see. Thoughts like that were what turned me into the slug that I was at my bud's aunt's place, in those first two weeks abroad. And even though it takes several weeks of constant negative thinking to make those emotions automatic, I wasn't about to let them pull me down then, even for a single day. So I left the shopping center and headed a couple of blocks down, and found the community center.
The lobby was huge, but sparsely staffed. There were a couple of pamphlets on racks by the door, and a few signs advertising what was going on that day. By this point, my local language skills had gotten much, much better, so it was only a few seconds after I read the welcome sign that I saw an art exhibit was going on a floor or two up. I went up and saw some very well-dressed locals showing off some pictures hanging on the walls. They welcomed me heartily and let me roam to enjoy the exhibit.
The pictures were quite stunning. One was a nature piece in the old local style, another was a picture of Jesus who looked kind of like a local, and there were several beautiful nature pieces of mountains, a forest and the ocean. I took out my camera, then hesitated, not knowing if it was ok. As I was asking one of the artists if I could take a picture, I simultaneously saw a sign that said it wasn't ok.
The boss of the exhibit overheard us, then came over to me and said I could take a picture or two. I thanked them, then snapped a few photos to show my friends later. I headed home shortly after, happy knowing that I didn't let a good day go to waste, despite the middle stumble.
As for today...
I woke up at 7:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the game.
I played cars with my son.
I ate lunch.
I prepared teaching lessons.
I watched TV.
I built my son a fort, then roughhoused with him inside.
I played cars with him.
I watched internet movies with him.
I surfed the net.
My son fell asleep.
I played video games.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I did the dishes.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I slept.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Then and Now 42 - Odds and Ends 5
Then and Now 42 - Odds and Ends 5
Time: Before I got married.
One Monday night off of work, I was walking home from my second job teaching kids at another school branch. It was about 9:30 or so at night, and I came to the part of my town where a large canal split off the northern side of town of banks and houses from the southern, which had many schools and stores. I came to a large gathering of locals having some food and drinks outside, and they were watching a local drama being played out by fully costumed actors in a little mobile theater set.
I watched the actors for a while, a guy and a girl playing out a little love story, when a local came up to me and started talking to me in English. I felt a little embarrassed, because at the time, I had the flu and I felt a bit dizzy and tired (especially after the ten hours of work). My hair was also too long, and my spikes were drooping down, as if even they were trying to show how tired I was. He said hello and we made small talk about America and this country for a while, and after a bit, he offered me a coke, and we watched the drama play on.
Soon enough, his daughter came home from English school, and he called her over to say hello. She was only eleven or twelve, and was extremely nervous talking to me. I tried talking to her in both English and the local language, but she just stared at her feet the whole time. Her father teased her and said she should practice English more.
When it was time for me to go, I opened my wallet and took out a $2 bill that I had brought to this country to show my students. I checked to make sure it was ok with the girl's father, then I gave it to her as a thank you for their hospitality. I told her it was a rare bill, and she should hold onto it to show off to her friends. She took it hesitantly, and her father gave me a present in return, but I forgot what it was. It would be really cool if that girl still had the bill, and an interesting story, about the foreigner who came to say hello one day.
-----
I was walking up to the junction subway station where I met Tim and Jessie in Then and Now 33. I went up and down that street at least a hundred times during my time at the hostel, and I can still walk its length in my mind's eye. I got to the part where there was a road underpass just ahead with a small park and computer store to my right, when I saw a local woman coming towards me and staring at me oddly.
For a brief moment, I had forgotten that I wore my stupid T-shirt with a tie painted on it, just because I felt in a goofy mood. When the woman got closer, our eyes met, and she laughed. "Are you going to a party?" she asked in the local language.
"Looks good, huh?" I answered, and she laughed again. We said goodbye and continued on our separate ways.
-----
Another day at the underground mall, I was window shopping a bit until I walked by a video game store, which was in the center of the two walking paths that led in and out of the center of the mall. Outside, they had a few consoles set up with some games to try, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that they had Guitar Hero 3 set up on an X-Box. I had only ever played the series on the PS2, but when I got closer, I saw that the guitar was almost the same as the one I had used for several years.
So, I picked it up, and ran down the song list, noticing that almost every one had only three stars on it... except for Cherub Rock, the song I picked to play, which had the full five. Apparently, someone else had played this song before and thrashed it. I started playing, hitting almost every note in the song, until I completely smashed the record that had already been set. Unfortunately, there were two problems: first, the volume was set really low, so it was hard to hear the song from farther than ten feet away.
Second, when I surreptitiously turned around to see how many people were checking out how awesome I was, there was only one local standing there, who clapped, smiled and gave me the thumbs up. I smiled and thanked him, then looked over at the other demonstration console to my left, where some locals were playing a 2D fighting game. There were two guys duking it out, and about thirty people cheering loudly behind them. I chuckled, set the guitar down, and moved on.
-----
My bud and I went out to get dinner one night at his aunt's house, just me and him. We went to a Mexican restaurant a couple of minutes walk away, and it was pretty dark when we got there. The outside looked kind of like a cozy old log cabin, but the inside was furnished very nicely. We got seated by a waitress, and as we were on our way to the table, I saw an older foreigner with his local girlfriend at a seat next to the entrance. He looked my way almost immediately, and right after I smiled a hello, he jerked his head to the side to avoid getting into a conversation. I knit my eyebrows in confusion, not having gotten used to that kind of behavior yet, and my bud and I had a seat.
I got a bean and cheese burrito, a quesadilla and a Sprite, and my bud got a bowl of beans and rice; it had been a while since either of us had had Mexican. We shot the breeze about our experiences abroad, things we could do the next day and life back home until we were full, and on our way back home. It was a nice night.
-----
It was the first night at my apartment. My boss helped me finalize the paperwork with my landlord Nate, then he and his girlfriend Annie walked me up to the place that I would be living in for the next year. I unpacked my huge luggage bag and put everything away: clothes on my new clothes stand, electronics on my rolling TV tray, toiletries in the bathroom, and the rest of it in the sliding door cabinet in the guest bedroom. I felt great. I had had an amazing time with my bud at his aunt's place and at the hostel, but now I was not only employed, but living in my own digs.
This was one of the few times I had ever lived in a room by myself, and the absolute first time in my life that nobody lived around me in another dorm room or bedroom just down the hall, playing music at all hours of the night, stealing things from my room, yelling at me to clean something or anything like that. It was just me, and my new apartment.
After I was unpacked, I decided to get the lay of the land, so I went outside into the night to see what I could see. It was 11:00 or 12:00 at night, and there were almost no cars on the road. I walked up north through the main business section, and past a lot of darkened stores and quiet windy streets. It was a kind of peace that I had seldom experienced before.
I passed a quiet traffic light and watched a pair of cars pass by, and I soon found myself on a tiny street between two rows of very small houses. I had been walking for about thirty minutes, so I decided it was about time to make a wide curve back to the southwest, then cut back to my apartment, having seen one corner of the area around my apartment. The tiny street turned to the side and went between one of the rows of houses, and past a house with a very wide yard. I walked for a little bit until I found a pair of streetlights illuminating a road that headed in the direction of my apartment, then went down it.
Almost immediately, I saw some shadows move. The silhouettes of several dogs perked their heads up, then looked straight at me. I heard growling, so I started to back away slowly. I turned, and almost bumped into an old man, who was walking calmly down the street. My local language skills were still pretty poor so I didn't know how to warn the man, so I just stood back and watched him go straight towards the dogs. They started barking at him. I remained at the end of the street, balled my hands into fists and every muscle in my body tensed as I prepared myself to rush forward and fight the dogs off of the old man.
But there was no need. The dogs barked, but they didn't advance, and the old man just kept going. Not quite having the balls that he had, I turned around and went home on the same street I had walked up.
As for today...
I woke up at 7:30.
I surfed the net.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I ate lunch.
I watched DVDs with my wife and son.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I started a load of laundry.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I did the dishes.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I watched internet movies with my son.
I hung up wet laundry.
I slept.
Time: Before I got married.
One Monday night off of work, I was walking home from my second job teaching kids at another school branch. It was about 9:30 or so at night, and I came to the part of my town where a large canal split off the northern side of town of banks and houses from the southern, which had many schools and stores. I came to a large gathering of locals having some food and drinks outside, and they were watching a local drama being played out by fully costumed actors in a little mobile theater set.
I watched the actors for a while, a guy and a girl playing out a little love story, when a local came up to me and started talking to me in English. I felt a little embarrassed, because at the time, I had the flu and I felt a bit dizzy and tired (especially after the ten hours of work). My hair was also too long, and my spikes were drooping down, as if even they were trying to show how tired I was. He said hello and we made small talk about America and this country for a while, and after a bit, he offered me a coke, and we watched the drama play on.
Soon enough, his daughter came home from English school, and he called her over to say hello. She was only eleven or twelve, and was extremely nervous talking to me. I tried talking to her in both English and the local language, but she just stared at her feet the whole time. Her father teased her and said she should practice English more.
When it was time for me to go, I opened my wallet and took out a $2 bill that I had brought to this country to show my students. I checked to make sure it was ok with the girl's father, then I gave it to her as a thank you for their hospitality. I told her it was a rare bill, and she should hold onto it to show off to her friends. She took it hesitantly, and her father gave me a present in return, but I forgot what it was. It would be really cool if that girl still had the bill, and an interesting story, about the foreigner who came to say hello one day.
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I was walking up to the junction subway station where I met Tim and Jessie in Then and Now 33. I went up and down that street at least a hundred times during my time at the hostel, and I can still walk its length in my mind's eye. I got to the part where there was a road underpass just ahead with a small park and computer store to my right, when I saw a local woman coming towards me and staring at me oddly.
For a brief moment, I had forgotten that I wore my stupid T-shirt with a tie painted on it, just because I felt in a goofy mood. When the woman got closer, our eyes met, and she laughed. "Are you going to a party?" she asked in the local language.
"Looks good, huh?" I answered, and she laughed again. We said goodbye and continued on our separate ways.
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Another day at the underground mall, I was window shopping a bit until I walked by a video game store, which was in the center of the two walking paths that led in and out of the center of the mall. Outside, they had a few consoles set up with some games to try, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that they had Guitar Hero 3 set up on an X-Box. I had only ever played the series on the PS2, but when I got closer, I saw that the guitar was almost the same as the one I had used for several years.
So, I picked it up, and ran down the song list, noticing that almost every one had only three stars on it... except for Cherub Rock, the song I picked to play, which had the full five. Apparently, someone else had played this song before and thrashed it. I started playing, hitting almost every note in the song, until I completely smashed the record that had already been set. Unfortunately, there were two problems: first, the volume was set really low, so it was hard to hear the song from farther than ten feet away.
Second, when I surreptitiously turned around to see how many people were checking out how awesome I was, there was only one local standing there, who clapped, smiled and gave me the thumbs up. I smiled and thanked him, then looked over at the other demonstration console to my left, where some locals were playing a 2D fighting game. There were two guys duking it out, and about thirty people cheering loudly behind them. I chuckled, set the guitar down, and moved on.
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My bud and I went out to get dinner one night at his aunt's house, just me and him. We went to a Mexican restaurant a couple of minutes walk away, and it was pretty dark when we got there. The outside looked kind of like a cozy old log cabin, but the inside was furnished very nicely. We got seated by a waitress, and as we were on our way to the table, I saw an older foreigner with his local girlfriend at a seat next to the entrance. He looked my way almost immediately, and right after I smiled a hello, he jerked his head to the side to avoid getting into a conversation. I knit my eyebrows in confusion, not having gotten used to that kind of behavior yet, and my bud and I had a seat.
I got a bean and cheese burrito, a quesadilla and a Sprite, and my bud got a bowl of beans and rice; it had been a while since either of us had had Mexican. We shot the breeze about our experiences abroad, things we could do the next day and life back home until we were full, and on our way back home. It was a nice night.
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It was the first night at my apartment. My boss helped me finalize the paperwork with my landlord Nate, then he and his girlfriend Annie walked me up to the place that I would be living in for the next year. I unpacked my huge luggage bag and put everything away: clothes on my new clothes stand, electronics on my rolling TV tray, toiletries in the bathroom, and the rest of it in the sliding door cabinet in the guest bedroom. I felt great. I had had an amazing time with my bud at his aunt's place and at the hostel, but now I was not only employed, but living in my own digs.
This was one of the few times I had ever lived in a room by myself, and the absolute first time in my life that nobody lived around me in another dorm room or bedroom just down the hall, playing music at all hours of the night, stealing things from my room, yelling at me to clean something or anything like that. It was just me, and my new apartment.
After I was unpacked, I decided to get the lay of the land, so I went outside into the night to see what I could see. It was 11:00 or 12:00 at night, and there were almost no cars on the road. I walked up north through the main business section, and past a lot of darkened stores and quiet windy streets. It was a kind of peace that I had seldom experienced before.
I passed a quiet traffic light and watched a pair of cars pass by, and I soon found myself on a tiny street between two rows of very small houses. I had been walking for about thirty minutes, so I decided it was about time to make a wide curve back to the southwest, then cut back to my apartment, having seen one corner of the area around my apartment. The tiny street turned to the side and went between one of the rows of houses, and past a house with a very wide yard. I walked for a little bit until I found a pair of streetlights illuminating a road that headed in the direction of my apartment, then went down it.
Almost immediately, I saw some shadows move. The silhouettes of several dogs perked their heads up, then looked straight at me. I heard growling, so I started to back away slowly. I turned, and almost bumped into an old man, who was walking calmly down the street. My local language skills were still pretty poor so I didn't know how to warn the man, so I just stood back and watched him go straight towards the dogs. They started barking at him. I remained at the end of the street, balled my hands into fists and every muscle in my body tensed as I prepared myself to rush forward and fight the dogs off of the old man.
But there was no need. The dogs barked, but they didn't advance, and the old man just kept going. Not quite having the balls that he had, I turned around and went home on the same street I had walked up.
As for today...
I woke up at 7:30.
I surfed the net.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I ate lunch.
I watched DVDs with my wife and son.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I started a load of laundry.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I did the dishes.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I watched internet movies with my son.
I hung up wet laundry.
I slept.
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