Then and Now 65 - Thriller
Time: Late 2007, dating my wife.
As the foreign teacher for my English school, it was up to me to set up and plan an awesome Halloween in 2007, and I wasn't going to disappoint. When I first applied for, and got, my job at this school, I told the truth about what kind of guy I was and the things I wanted to do in this country (all benign), but at the time, my boss didn't believe me. I'll go into more detail when I make the Then and Now that describes me landing this job, but it was Halloween night that I proved myself to my new boss and co-workers.
It didn't take long for me to make a plan for that night for the kids. I thought back to what I did in my own school life growing up, and I came up with the idea to make chocolate/marshmallow stick ghosts, just like I did back in the first or second grade. It would end up being the first stage of the three stage Halloween night. For the second stage, the kids would go downstairs and make some scary masks with the local teachers, and then come back up for the final stage, which was my biggest plan: we were going to watch Michael Jackson's Thriller music video, and I would teach them the dance.
My colleagues took care of the supply gathering for the first two activities, and it fell on me to take care of the third. It was a long process to get everything ready: I downloaded a high resolution version of the Thriller music video from YouTube, then I had to convert the file into an AVI, then I had to find a free version DVD maker to put the AVI file on with a menu... it was pretty complicated. When I was done with it, and sure the DVD would play in the school's player, the best part began.
Taking the DVD home with me, I began the slow process of learning the Thriller dance for myself. I've never danced anything in my life besides the hip hop shuffle in Then and Now 11, so to take only a few weeks to learn this one was a huge task for me. So at my apartment, night by night, second by second and move by move, I slowly began to master the expertly crafted and fun dance. Because I lived alone, I was free to practice at any time, wearing anything I wanted, and not have to worry about someone breaking down my door and yelling at me to stop, clean something or anything else.
After roughly two weeks and dozens of hours of practice, I finally mastered the dance, and Halloween arrived very shortly afterwards. Every night before the big night, I practiced the dance in its entirety from top to bottom, until I was able to do it several times in a row with no mistakes.
The night of the big party, I arrived dressed like Harry Potter, complete with the scar on my forehead that I drew with a Sharpie. The kids arrived one after another to make their ghosts, and I smiled brightly seeing how much fun they were having. Everyone did their ghosts correctly with the napkin robe through their toothpicks, but the ghosts' heads were all a testament to the kids' individual personalities: some of them made clean faces with tiny chocolate eyes and smiles, while some basically painted the entire head in chocolate to have a feast at the end of the night. I wasn't there for the mask part because I was too busy with the ghosts, but I heard they were having fun down there, too.
And finally, it was my turn to direct my little zombies through Thriller. While the movie set up and MJ was out with his girlfriend, I was showing the kids how to do the dance, little by little. They were really cute miming my moves while also trying to see what was happening on the screen. Then, at last, MJ and his girlfriend came to the streets and were surrounded by zombies. The kids in the class backed up at my insistence, and finally, when MJ was turned, I began the dance.
It was amazing, all the way through. I missed absolutely no moves, knew exactly what to do the entire time without looking at the screen, and the kids were going absolutely nuts. They swarmed me to the point that I had to back up, almost up against the screen, to get the kicking moves done near the end of it. Finally, when the dance was done, everyone cheered and applauded, and the kids watched the movie to the very end. The best part was when MJ turned into the crazy werewolf thing at the end, a bunch of the kids screamed in happy fright.
With the night coming to a close, everyone headed to the front desk to get some candy, sign out and head home. Several of the parents came by to thank me for a great night, and to take pictures with me and their kids together. A few minutes later, everyone but my boss, co-workers and I had left, and they thanked me profusely for my hard work. My boss even said that she had never had a Halloween party so good.
From that moment on, the things I had said about myself during the interview came into focus, and my colleagues knew that I meant what I had said: back then, I really was an adventurous, fun and hard-working beast of a good man.
As for today...
I woke up at 5:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I took my son on a trip to the mountains to see diggers, then we ate breakfast, then we went home.
I hung up wet laundry.
I watched DVDs with my wife.
I watched internet movies with my son.
I went to work.
I helped a co-worker with some essays.
I taught students.
I came home.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I watched DVDs with my son.
I slept.
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Marriage review, 2012 to 2013
It's been two years since I started this blog and over five since I got married, and it's time to review another long year of marriage:
Fights
There were 22 times that my wife or her mother started a fight with me. Last year, the two started 32 fights with me for no good reason, so it seems like things are slowly improving, but the truth is that things have vastly improved from last year. Clicking on the "Problems" tab on this blog and reading back through those posts, you will see that fights with my wife came to a screeching halt after November 25th last year, which was over five months ago, and the fights with my mother-in-law stopped immediately after I came back at her a little later, which was detailed in my Fights post on January 25th of this year.
Trying to apply a logical mind to an illogical concept like marriage led me to the situation I was in for the previous five years, where I gave so much, but received nothing but the punishment and disrespect of hostile dependents in return. I have a coming essay in mind to explain what I learned about the primitive mind and how it applies to marriage, but for now, I'll just say that following the advice of other men in my position put a stop to the disrespect:
- I first responded to my wife's attempt to start a fight with me by ignoring her.
- Later, I responded by destroying her twisted logic, refusing to let her continually change the subject, refusing to back down while she dug herself deeper and deeper into a hole, ignoring her as soon as the fight was done, and refusing to apologize later when she said I "scared" her.
- On January 25th, 2013, I shouted at my mother-in-law for openly and fragrantly disrespecting me, and gave her a glare that said I was two seconds from decking her.
- A little later, my wife tried to start another couple of fights but I ordered her to stop each time, then ignored her after.
No other drama has happened since then, from either of them.
S*** tests passed. And I never would have had to act like an ape if I didn't get married.
Chores
I've cleaned up the floor and table almost every night for the last year, around 350 times, and I've done the dishes and done the laundry about 220 times each. Though this was less laundry and dishes than the last year, the extra house cleaning more than made up for the difference in wasted time. Again, applying the fact that I never needed to clean the floor at my apartment, I spend almost ten times the amount of time cleaning the house now than the once a week I did everything before. The most striking thing is the number of days off I had last year without some kind of cleanup waiting for me:
3.
Yes, once every four months, I got a one day reprieve from the chores, and every other night, someone else's messes welcomed me back from work, where I make money that just gets co-opted and taken away by everyone around me.
When I was single, I got a day off of the chores every single day, except for Friday night, when I took care of everything together. Even the times I had to do dishes, it was because I rewarded myself with a delicious meal that I wanted to eat.
Sex
When we were dating, my wife and I used to have sex three to five times a week. Now we have sex once every a month or two. This year, I was denied sex for four months in 2012, and two months from the end of 2012 to 2013.
The sex life problem is now the reverse of what it was last year: before, I was unhappy that my wife and I only had sex about fifteen or twenty times that year, because it wasn't enough for me. Now, I don't want to have sex with her at all. The few times she plans a night for sex, and actually follows through, is something I'd rather she leave me alone about.
I can't take her overweight body, the fact that she takes advantage of me by spending too much money and nagging me about the same things every day, and the fact that the sex is usually over in about fifteen or thirty minutes, then it's back to another month long wait for something that's mechanical and boring anyway. Plus, most of the time when she tells me she's ready (it's been about a year since I stopped asking her first), she ends up cancelling or forgetting.
When she actually does want it and is ready to go, I go along with it and pretend like I'm enjoying myself (which is not at all how she treated me in the last five years), but most of the time, it doesn't matter. Everyone knows the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf." My wife is "The Wife Who Cried Sex." And it's been many months since I've believed her, or even cared, if she was telling the truth about having sex. She's really to blame for opening my eyes on this one through several stages of me not wanting, then actively despising, sex with her:
Stage 1 - Until about a year ago, I was still practically begging for sex with her, and being disappointed every time. I was unhappy at this time because we hardly ever slept together.
Stage 2 - After the half a dozen plus sexual deserts where I waited for months for her to finally say yes, I decided that I would stop asking her first, and just wait for her to be ready. She very rarely initiated, and I started to lose interest in sex as the frigid weeks dragged on.
Stage 3 - By the time a month or three had gone by and my wife suddenly noticed I hadn't asked first for such a long time, it was too late. My drug dealer had strung me along for too long, and I had begun detoxing. She started ramping up the sexual overtures to once a week or two, and promised sex over and over. Her failure to follow through on most of her promises made me lose interest in it, and her, completely.
Stage 4 - It's kind of sad how desperate my wife is for attention now, and how she tries to nuzzle me or touch me with her attempts at a sultry "Tonight?" I give her the same apathetic "Ok" every time now because it seldom happens, and I'm glad when it usually doesn't. When she asks me to wake her up before I play video games, I don't even bother and lie later that I tried. I'm happy to hear when her period runs longer than expected or when she has some kind of excuse, because that means I have another day without sex. But if I ever get cornered and I have no way to escape, I just go along with it, finish her up as quickly as possible, fake the end so I don't have to clean up anything, then go back to the computer so I can pretend to be someone interesting and important.
When I was single, sex averaged out to three times a week with a girl I wanted to sleep with. And with up to twenty potential girls that I could have slept with by now, that's a lot more variety and quantity than what I get now.
Money
I've saved nothing that isn't going towards family expenses or pending college bills, and I've donated $500 to charity.
As an unmarried man, I would have saved $5000 for emergencies, and donated $55,000 to charity by now. That's a lot of children that I could have helped.
Time Off
This year, I had 55 days off of work. Although that can be averaged out to six work days a week and Sunday off, the truth is that for the first six months, I was working every day for weeks on end, with chores waiting almost every single night. And again, I kept very little of the money for myself. Despite this, this was also the time of my marriage that my wife was at her most disrespectful.
As a single man, I would have had two days a week off from work, and five days (at least) off from chores.
Travel
I've lived in four cities.
As an unmarried man, I would be living in my ninth city, and I know exactly where I would be living right now.
Friends
I've made two hundred friends, none of whom are still in regular contact with me.
As an unmarried man, I would have made about 1500 friends, and been in regular contact with about 20-30 of them. All those people I could have helped or learned from, all those experiences I could have had, all that potential, gone.
Fun & Adventure
I haven't had a single adventurous or all day fun day since I got married, because even on the days I took my son out for a trip, my wife never went with us and ruined the trip with phone calls and rage when I returned with him.
If I were still single, I could have written over 800 Then and Now posts on my great life.
Summary
The basic themes of 2012, as they were every year since 2009, were escalating disrespect and the constant biting of the hand (mine) that feeds. The second half of this married year, 2013, was me setting very clear boundaries for the two main stressors in my life (my wife and her mother), and returning to a mind-numbing, day-passing, wasteful life of monotony.
Were it not for my son, I would consider every year since 2008 as a married man a shameful, disgusting example of nothingness, eroding away everything that I've ever held dear.
Fights
There were 22 times that my wife or her mother started a fight with me. Last year, the two started 32 fights with me for no good reason, so it seems like things are slowly improving, but the truth is that things have vastly improved from last year. Clicking on the "Problems" tab on this blog and reading back through those posts, you will see that fights with my wife came to a screeching halt after November 25th last year, which was over five months ago, and the fights with my mother-in-law stopped immediately after I came back at her a little later, which was detailed in my Fights post on January 25th of this year.
Trying to apply a logical mind to an illogical concept like marriage led me to the situation I was in for the previous five years, where I gave so much, but received nothing but the punishment and disrespect of hostile dependents in return. I have a coming essay in mind to explain what I learned about the primitive mind and how it applies to marriage, but for now, I'll just say that following the advice of other men in my position put a stop to the disrespect:
- I first responded to my wife's attempt to start a fight with me by ignoring her.
- Later, I responded by destroying her twisted logic, refusing to let her continually change the subject, refusing to back down while she dug herself deeper and deeper into a hole, ignoring her as soon as the fight was done, and refusing to apologize later when she said I "scared" her.
- On January 25th, 2013, I shouted at my mother-in-law for openly and fragrantly disrespecting me, and gave her a glare that said I was two seconds from decking her.
- A little later, my wife tried to start another couple of fights but I ordered her to stop each time, then ignored her after.
No other drama has happened since then, from either of them.
S*** tests passed. And I never would have had to act like an ape if I didn't get married.
Chores
I've cleaned up the floor and table almost every night for the last year, around 350 times, and I've done the dishes and done the laundry about 220 times each. Though this was less laundry and dishes than the last year, the extra house cleaning more than made up for the difference in wasted time. Again, applying the fact that I never needed to clean the floor at my apartment, I spend almost ten times the amount of time cleaning the house now than the once a week I did everything before. The most striking thing is the number of days off I had last year without some kind of cleanup waiting for me:
3.
Yes, once every four months, I got a one day reprieve from the chores, and every other night, someone else's messes welcomed me back from work, where I make money that just gets co-opted and taken away by everyone around me.
When I was single, I got a day off of the chores every single day, except for Friday night, when I took care of everything together. Even the times I had to do dishes, it was because I rewarded myself with a delicious meal that I wanted to eat.
Sex
When we were dating, my wife and I used to have sex three to five times a week. Now we have sex once every a month or two. This year, I was denied sex for four months in 2012, and two months from the end of 2012 to 2013.
The sex life problem is now the reverse of what it was last year: before, I was unhappy that my wife and I only had sex about fifteen or twenty times that year, because it wasn't enough for me. Now, I don't want to have sex with her at all. The few times she plans a night for sex, and actually follows through, is something I'd rather she leave me alone about.
I can't take her overweight body, the fact that she takes advantage of me by spending too much money and nagging me about the same things every day, and the fact that the sex is usually over in about fifteen or thirty minutes, then it's back to another month long wait for something that's mechanical and boring anyway. Plus, most of the time when she tells me she's ready (it's been about a year since I stopped asking her first), she ends up cancelling or forgetting.
When she actually does want it and is ready to go, I go along with it and pretend like I'm enjoying myself (which is not at all how she treated me in the last five years), but most of the time, it doesn't matter. Everyone knows the story of "The Boy Who Cried Wolf." My wife is "The Wife Who Cried Sex." And it's been many months since I've believed her, or even cared, if she was telling the truth about having sex. She's really to blame for opening my eyes on this one through several stages of me not wanting, then actively despising, sex with her:
Stage 1 - Until about a year ago, I was still practically begging for sex with her, and being disappointed every time. I was unhappy at this time because we hardly ever slept together.
Stage 2 - After the half a dozen plus sexual deserts where I waited for months for her to finally say yes, I decided that I would stop asking her first, and just wait for her to be ready. She very rarely initiated, and I started to lose interest in sex as the frigid weeks dragged on.
Stage 3 - By the time a month or three had gone by and my wife suddenly noticed I hadn't asked first for such a long time, it was too late. My drug dealer had strung me along for too long, and I had begun detoxing. She started ramping up the sexual overtures to once a week or two, and promised sex over and over. Her failure to follow through on most of her promises made me lose interest in it, and her, completely.
Stage 4 - It's kind of sad how desperate my wife is for attention now, and how she tries to nuzzle me or touch me with her attempts at a sultry "Tonight?" I give her the same apathetic "Ok" every time now because it seldom happens, and I'm glad when it usually doesn't. When she asks me to wake her up before I play video games, I don't even bother and lie later that I tried. I'm happy to hear when her period runs longer than expected or when she has some kind of excuse, because that means I have another day without sex. But if I ever get cornered and I have no way to escape, I just go along with it, finish her up as quickly as possible, fake the end so I don't have to clean up anything, then go back to the computer so I can pretend to be someone interesting and important.
When I was single, sex averaged out to three times a week with a girl I wanted to sleep with. And with up to twenty potential girls that I could have slept with by now, that's a lot more variety and quantity than what I get now.
Money
I've saved nothing that isn't going towards family expenses or pending college bills, and I've donated $500 to charity.
As an unmarried man, I would have saved $5000 for emergencies, and donated $55,000 to charity by now. That's a lot of children that I could have helped.
Time Off
This year, I had 55 days off of work. Although that can be averaged out to six work days a week and Sunday off, the truth is that for the first six months, I was working every day for weeks on end, with chores waiting almost every single night. And again, I kept very little of the money for myself. Despite this, this was also the time of my marriage that my wife was at her most disrespectful.
As a single man, I would have had two days a week off from work, and five days (at least) off from chores.
Travel
I've lived in four cities.
As an unmarried man, I would be living in my ninth city, and I know exactly where I would be living right now.
Friends
I've made two hundred friends, none of whom are still in regular contact with me.
As an unmarried man, I would have made about 1500 friends, and been in regular contact with about 20-30 of them. All those people I could have helped or learned from, all those experiences I could have had, all that potential, gone.
Fun & Adventure
I haven't had a single adventurous or all day fun day since I got married, because even on the days I took my son out for a trip, my wife never went with us and ruined the trip with phone calls and rage when I returned with him.
If I were still single, I could have written over 800 Then and Now posts on my great life.
Summary
The basic themes of 2012, as they were every year since 2009, were escalating disrespect and the constant biting of the hand (mine) that feeds. The second half of this married year, 2013, was me setting very clear boundaries for the two main stressors in my life (my wife and her mother), and returning to a mind-numbing, day-passing, wasteful life of monotony.
Were it not for my son, I would consider every year since 2008 as a married man a shameful, disgusting example of nothingness, eroding away everything that I've ever held dear.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Then and Now 64 - Coffee Shops
Then and Now 64 - Coffee Shops
Time: Mid-2007, at my bud's aunt's place.
There wasn't a whole lot to do at my bud's aunt's place, so we spent a lot of time going out and looking around stores and such to find something to do. I've told several stories of our daytime beach walks and market explorations, the mall, the movie theater, and many more, and I have several more stories to tell in other posts. But what I didn't quite detail yet was what happened for most of our nights.
Soon after I arrived, my bud got the idea to go out and get some coffee or tea at a different shop every night until it was time to move to the big city. I thought it was a great idea, and almost every time we had the chance, we went out to have new drinks at new places. In this post, I'll try to remember our times at as many shops as I can.
Store 1
This one was right next to the furniture shop where we stayed. It was a single block away, and the front of the store was open to the elements. I remember us going in one time, trying to order some of the drinks that were a little more complicated to say than strawberry or honey, and having to take guesses as to what we were going to drink before we drank them.
The place had a back room with some computers in it, which I don't know if they were for patrons or staff. The front was a collection of tables under pictures hanging on the walls, and the store was slightly cramped because it was only about twenty feet wide, but it made everything feel more cozy than claustrophobic.
One of the servers was a cute girl who never looked at me for longer than necessary, but I was just as afraid of her as she was of me back then, because when we first started getting drinks at this place, it was still in the middle of my lost two weeks where I was still working on uplifting myself into the man I eventually became.
Store 2
We found this store very far away from the others, maybe a fifteen minute walk away. We first saw it walking by on a little tour of the city, and it was on the corner of two side streets that housed many short apartment complexes. It had some large pillars out front like a Greek temple, but strangely enough, it seemed to be a jazz bar. My bud and I decided to come back later and check it out, because we were heading somewhere else that day.
After a few days of getting lost in that area and failing to find it, we finally stumbled across it one night and had our drinks there. It was indeed a jazz bar, but aside from a few pictures and some jazz piping in from the speakers, there wasn't much else to the atmosphere. The environment was excellent, and all the walls were glass windows from top to bottom so my bud and I could watch a few cars head by here and there while we drank.
Store 3
There was a shopping center with a dozen or two stores in it in the center of town, and it was at the bottom of some stairs that went about twenty or thirty feet underground, with the busy roads of the city winding around it. The stores formed a ring around a center food court area where people were eating, drinking, talking and laughing in numerous intimate groups.
That night, my bud and I took a walk from his aunt's place all the way over to the court, and we had a peaceful evening of drinks from a local hole-in-the-wall coffee house. It was so delicious that we actually came back with one of his college friends (who was also visiting the country) so I could practice my local language, and though I made many mistakes, I was improving rapidly and happily.
That's all I can remember for now. For every other night at my bud's aunt's place, I either mentioned the shops in other Then and Now posts, or we ate at a restaurant instead, or we just went back home to eat something his aunt had prepared, then play Guitar Hero.
I know it was just drinks, but as a married man, even getting a single night like the ones I had every night back then is a trial. I think after my son is on the plane to go to college, the first thing I'm going to do is go back to my bud's aunt's city and have the biggest drink that one of these stores can provide, to celebrate my newfound freedom.
As for today...
I woke up at 7:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I watched DVDs with my wife.
I played cars with my son.
I surfed the net.
I roughhoused with my son.
I went to work by train, and played video games on the way.
I taught students.
I came home by train, and talked with my co-worker on the way.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I started a load of laundry.
I played video games.
I slept.
Time: Mid-2007, at my bud's aunt's place.
There wasn't a whole lot to do at my bud's aunt's place, so we spent a lot of time going out and looking around stores and such to find something to do. I've told several stories of our daytime beach walks and market explorations, the mall, the movie theater, and many more, and I have several more stories to tell in other posts. But what I didn't quite detail yet was what happened for most of our nights.
Soon after I arrived, my bud got the idea to go out and get some coffee or tea at a different shop every night until it was time to move to the big city. I thought it was a great idea, and almost every time we had the chance, we went out to have new drinks at new places. In this post, I'll try to remember our times at as many shops as I can.
Store 1
This one was right next to the furniture shop where we stayed. It was a single block away, and the front of the store was open to the elements. I remember us going in one time, trying to order some of the drinks that were a little more complicated to say than strawberry or honey, and having to take guesses as to what we were going to drink before we drank them.
The place had a back room with some computers in it, which I don't know if they were for patrons or staff. The front was a collection of tables under pictures hanging on the walls, and the store was slightly cramped because it was only about twenty feet wide, but it made everything feel more cozy than claustrophobic.
One of the servers was a cute girl who never looked at me for longer than necessary, but I was just as afraid of her as she was of me back then, because when we first started getting drinks at this place, it was still in the middle of my lost two weeks where I was still working on uplifting myself into the man I eventually became.
Store 2
We found this store very far away from the others, maybe a fifteen minute walk away. We first saw it walking by on a little tour of the city, and it was on the corner of two side streets that housed many short apartment complexes. It had some large pillars out front like a Greek temple, but strangely enough, it seemed to be a jazz bar. My bud and I decided to come back later and check it out, because we were heading somewhere else that day.
After a few days of getting lost in that area and failing to find it, we finally stumbled across it one night and had our drinks there. It was indeed a jazz bar, but aside from a few pictures and some jazz piping in from the speakers, there wasn't much else to the atmosphere. The environment was excellent, and all the walls were glass windows from top to bottom so my bud and I could watch a few cars head by here and there while we drank.
Store 3
There was a shopping center with a dozen or two stores in it in the center of town, and it was at the bottom of some stairs that went about twenty or thirty feet underground, with the busy roads of the city winding around it. The stores formed a ring around a center food court area where people were eating, drinking, talking and laughing in numerous intimate groups.
That night, my bud and I took a walk from his aunt's place all the way over to the court, and we had a peaceful evening of drinks from a local hole-in-the-wall coffee house. It was so delicious that we actually came back with one of his college friends (who was also visiting the country) so I could practice my local language, and though I made many mistakes, I was improving rapidly and happily.
That's all I can remember for now. For every other night at my bud's aunt's place, I either mentioned the shops in other Then and Now posts, or we ate at a restaurant instead, or we just went back home to eat something his aunt had prepared, then play Guitar Hero.
I know it was just drinks, but as a married man, even getting a single night like the ones I had every night back then is a trial. I think after my son is on the plane to go to college, the first thing I'm going to do is go back to my bud's aunt's city and have the biggest drink that one of these stores can provide, to celebrate my newfound freedom.
As for today...
I woke up at 7:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I watched DVDs with my wife.
I played cars with my son.
I surfed the net.
I roughhoused with my son.
I went to work by train, and played video games on the way.
I taught students.
I came home by train, and talked with my co-worker on the way.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I started a load of laundry.
I played video games.
I slept.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Then and Now 63 - Odds and Ends 10
Then and Now 63 - Odds and Ends 10
Time: Before I got married.
One of my first trips outside of my bud's aunt's house was a few days after we got there, when we went out one night to look around and scout out the Mexican restaurant that we went to in Then and Now 42. We were out for a while, walking among the darkened streets in the warm summer night, and actually ended up blundering right into the place just a few minutes into the walk.
Once we knew where it was, we continued on to see what else there was to see, and we found a great sight: in the still of the night, completely dark except for some a neon cross upon it, was a church. And although I was still in the throes of the worst of my adjustment phase, I snapped out of it just long enough to admire its beauty, like a symbol of peace in an unsure world. I told my bud that it looked really nice and we should head in sometime to look around, but he just joked that I wanted to go in to convert.
-----
I got an email from a girl, Laura, who wanted to hang out one day. She sent a picture and she looked pretty cute, but regardless of her charming appearance, I was going to meet her in my quest to be the popular man I wanted to be.
I met up with her at dusk outside of the main station, under a winding freeway overpass. She was very, very assertive, spoke directly and always had something to share or talk about. In fact, as we walked to a nearby restaurant, I noticed how difficult it was to get a word in edgewise. When we arrived at the restaurant, we got a few looks from other locals, though whether it was because it looked like we were on a date, or because of my new friend's chattiness, I'm still not sure.
Laura spoke for a long time about her college life and her friends there, about her dream to travel the world and model in as many as she could, and other inspiring tales of her future success. I wasn't quite as charming, content to let her speak and enjoy her enthusiasm. We ate heartily that night, and though I offered to pay for the meal, she insisted that she be the one to pay, stating that her family was somewhat rich and that it wasn't any trouble for her. Her pride was infectious.
After we ate, we headed straight back to the main station, where I finally got to tell her about my time in her country, sharing stories from my time in her country and my eagerness to explore. She seemed happy for me, but her tone and body language throughout the night told me the complete story: at first, she met up with me because she was looking for a boyfriend. The walk over, she was still interested in me. At dinner, I became a friend. On the way back, I had the strong impression that I wasn't going to see her again.
And I was right; that was the last night I saw her. It didn't matter much to me because there were other friends to make, and it was a fun night regardless of whether we ended up together, whatever the meaning of the phrase.
-----
I don't remember where this place was, or how I got there. I get the feeling that it was a part of Then and Now 43, but the overall look of that part of the city, in my mind, looks different.
I came out of an industrial area full of factories and warehouses, and crossed over some railroad tracks to a place with a lot of schools teaching language, music, art and other subjects. There were a couple of quiet apartment buildings with a few grassy fields and trees about, and there were a lot of parks about the area. Everything there was so quiet and serene, that although I had no particular plan to see or anything do that day, I felt content knowing that there was no chores, work or other problems for me to take care of that day. It was just me and my travel.
I passed by a little ice cream store and would have bought some, were it not for my money troubles. I smiled, knowing that in a month or two, I would be back in the black, and returning to sample some of the delicious dessert.
-----
My bud and I were taking a walk around his aunt's place one day, and we were out for a long time. We headed out around noon, passing by many wide streets and through construction zones, just wandering around for the sake of wandering. The construction was long and packed with ripped up roads and the skeletal frameworks of buildings still in the process of being made. After a block or two of this, we went down an alleyway to shave some time off of our trip. Just a few minutes later, we made it to a general store where I bought the notebook and lead pencil I would use to copy local words from the dictionary to become the semi-fluent speaker of the language that I eventually became.
After hours of wandering, we headed back to the general direction where his aunt's place was, and we walked by an ice cream shop. I saw some purple liquid in the pictures advertising the stuff inside, and I suddenly felt hungry and thirsty after the long trip. We went inside and both got a cup, and though the dessert wasn't as sweet as I imagined it to be, it was still a refreshing end to a long and free walk.
Moments later, we were home to watch B-movies and play Guitar Hero, then we were off to sleep.
-----
A month or two after I had settled into my new apartment, job and life, another friend from America told me that he was in the country, and we set up a time to meet. He and his girlfriend took a train and bus to get a few blocks away from my house in the restaurant district, and I went to pick them up and take them to my pad. The first thing I welcomed them to was a platter of Mexican food, complete with my precious and irreplacable hot sauce that my mom sent from America. They both shouted, "Burritos!!" and ran in to snarf. Apparently, they had been away from America as long as I had.
My friend and I talked for a long time about old times, our college lives, what our old friends were up to, basically all that fun catch up stuff. I also talked with his girlfriend about her life and the things going on with her, because the last time I saw her was early 2007, where the three of us had a goodbye dinner for me before I headed abroad. She encouraged me then that I was going to be popular when I got to the country, and though I was still working on myself and my dented psyche back then, I was still appreciative of the vote of confidence, even if I didn't believe her then.
After a few hours, the three of us went onto my roof with the little garden there, and had a very peaceful smoke in the warm night, staring out at the distant lights of the windows of a thousand shorter buildings all around us. My friend's girlfriend smiled as she looked over the little garden, and my friend and I spent a half hour pointing out distant landmarks and wondering what everyone at them was doing.
It was a Saturday night, I remember. My work was done, I was happily enjoying my time with my old friends, and I had an entire Sunday coming to explore more of my new country.
As for today...
I woke up at 10:00.
I took my wife and son out to eat breakfast, then we went home.
I hung up wet laundry.
I played cars with my son.
I took him out on a big trip to the mountains where we drove around, saw a temple and ate at McDonald's, then we went to the arcade, then we went home.
I played cars with him.
I played video games with him.
I started a load of laundry.
I played video games
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I did the dishes.
I hung up wet laundry again.
I slept.
Time: Before I got married.
One of my first trips outside of my bud's aunt's house was a few days after we got there, when we went out one night to look around and scout out the Mexican restaurant that we went to in Then and Now 42. We were out for a while, walking among the darkened streets in the warm summer night, and actually ended up blundering right into the place just a few minutes into the walk.
Once we knew where it was, we continued on to see what else there was to see, and we found a great sight: in the still of the night, completely dark except for some a neon cross upon it, was a church. And although I was still in the throes of the worst of my adjustment phase, I snapped out of it just long enough to admire its beauty, like a symbol of peace in an unsure world. I told my bud that it looked really nice and we should head in sometime to look around, but he just joked that I wanted to go in to convert.
-----
I got an email from a girl, Laura, who wanted to hang out one day. She sent a picture and she looked pretty cute, but regardless of her charming appearance, I was going to meet her in my quest to be the popular man I wanted to be.
I met up with her at dusk outside of the main station, under a winding freeway overpass. She was very, very assertive, spoke directly and always had something to share or talk about. In fact, as we walked to a nearby restaurant, I noticed how difficult it was to get a word in edgewise. When we arrived at the restaurant, we got a few looks from other locals, though whether it was because it looked like we were on a date, or because of my new friend's chattiness, I'm still not sure.
Laura spoke for a long time about her college life and her friends there, about her dream to travel the world and model in as many as she could, and other inspiring tales of her future success. I wasn't quite as charming, content to let her speak and enjoy her enthusiasm. We ate heartily that night, and though I offered to pay for the meal, she insisted that she be the one to pay, stating that her family was somewhat rich and that it wasn't any trouble for her. Her pride was infectious.
After we ate, we headed straight back to the main station, where I finally got to tell her about my time in her country, sharing stories from my time in her country and my eagerness to explore. She seemed happy for me, but her tone and body language throughout the night told me the complete story: at first, she met up with me because she was looking for a boyfriend. The walk over, she was still interested in me. At dinner, I became a friend. On the way back, I had the strong impression that I wasn't going to see her again.
And I was right; that was the last night I saw her. It didn't matter much to me because there were other friends to make, and it was a fun night regardless of whether we ended up together, whatever the meaning of the phrase.
-----
I don't remember where this place was, or how I got there. I get the feeling that it was a part of Then and Now 43, but the overall look of that part of the city, in my mind, looks different.
I came out of an industrial area full of factories and warehouses, and crossed over some railroad tracks to a place with a lot of schools teaching language, music, art and other subjects. There were a couple of quiet apartment buildings with a few grassy fields and trees about, and there were a lot of parks about the area. Everything there was so quiet and serene, that although I had no particular plan to see or anything do that day, I felt content knowing that there was no chores, work or other problems for me to take care of that day. It was just me and my travel.
I passed by a little ice cream store and would have bought some, were it not for my money troubles. I smiled, knowing that in a month or two, I would be back in the black, and returning to sample some of the delicious dessert.
-----
My bud and I were taking a walk around his aunt's place one day, and we were out for a long time. We headed out around noon, passing by many wide streets and through construction zones, just wandering around for the sake of wandering. The construction was long and packed with ripped up roads and the skeletal frameworks of buildings still in the process of being made. After a block or two of this, we went down an alleyway to shave some time off of our trip. Just a few minutes later, we made it to a general store where I bought the notebook and lead pencil I would use to copy local words from the dictionary to become the semi-fluent speaker of the language that I eventually became.
After hours of wandering, we headed back to the general direction where his aunt's place was, and we walked by an ice cream shop. I saw some purple liquid in the pictures advertising the stuff inside, and I suddenly felt hungry and thirsty after the long trip. We went inside and both got a cup, and though the dessert wasn't as sweet as I imagined it to be, it was still a refreshing end to a long and free walk.
Moments later, we were home to watch B-movies and play Guitar Hero, then we were off to sleep.
-----
A month or two after I had settled into my new apartment, job and life, another friend from America told me that he was in the country, and we set up a time to meet. He and his girlfriend took a train and bus to get a few blocks away from my house in the restaurant district, and I went to pick them up and take them to my pad. The first thing I welcomed them to was a platter of Mexican food, complete with my precious and irreplacable hot sauce that my mom sent from America. They both shouted, "Burritos!!" and ran in to snarf. Apparently, they had been away from America as long as I had.
My friend and I talked for a long time about old times, our college lives, what our old friends were up to, basically all that fun catch up stuff. I also talked with his girlfriend about her life and the things going on with her, because the last time I saw her was early 2007, where the three of us had a goodbye dinner for me before I headed abroad. She encouraged me then that I was going to be popular when I got to the country, and though I was still working on myself and my dented psyche back then, I was still appreciative of the vote of confidence, even if I didn't believe her then.
After a few hours, the three of us went onto my roof with the little garden there, and had a very peaceful smoke in the warm night, staring out at the distant lights of the windows of a thousand shorter buildings all around us. My friend's girlfriend smiled as she looked over the little garden, and my friend and I spent a half hour pointing out distant landmarks and wondering what everyone at them was doing.
It was a Saturday night, I remember. My work was done, I was happily enjoying my time with my old friends, and I had an entire Sunday coming to explore more of my new country.
As for today...
I woke up at 10:00.
I took my wife and son out to eat breakfast, then we went home.
I hung up wet laundry.
I played cars with my son.
I took him out on a big trip to the mountains where we drove around, saw a temple and ate at McDonald's, then we went to the arcade, then we went home.
I played cars with him.
I played video games with him.
I started a load of laundry.
I played video games
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I did the dishes.
I hung up wet laundry again.
I slept.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
Then and Now 62 - Pirate Park
Then and Now 62 - Pirate Park
Time: Mid-2007, single and at the hostel.
Jerry and I got acquainted on the internet and we met up in a part of the main city that I hadn't seen before. The train arrived in a wide, two story, indoor station which was covered with posters advertising coming events. It was also one of the few stations I had been to that had some potted plants around for decoration.
Outside, I saw a local watching me, and I knew it was Jerry. We introduced ourselves, and he asked what I wanted to do. I took out my subway map and pointed around our general area, seeing three different places that were labeled and looked interesting: a college, a park and an art expo.
The college was only a few blocks away, but it was a bit boring. It looked no different than the hundred buildings sitting around it, and its internals were blocked by the dorm rooms, so I couldn't see any courtyards, students or food courts around. So I decided to take us right on past it, and we headed farther down the road and down a few more blocks. On the way were several convenience stores and a freeway overpass that shaded us for a few seconds, but there wasn't much else to talk about.
The park was amazing. We arrived on the southeast side, which just happened to be right next to the huge art expo across the street. Jerry and I went inside and looked over a couple of swing sets and slides, but the main attraction was this huge pirate ship sitting in the middle of the park. It was constructed of polished wood, plastic and metal, and it was solid enough to climb. It even had massive cannons that looked real enough to fire pointing out of it. We weren't allowed inside, but Jerry and I looked at it from every angle while I snapped pictures, then complimented him on the craftsmanship of the people of his country to make such a great piece.
After that, we headed to the northwest, where there was a miniature forest to walk around in. The canopies were so thick that it was almost impossible to see the sun, except for a few rays that pierced the thick leaves in intermittent bursts of light. The ground was covered in leaves that crunched with every step, and we had some noisy company in the form of some kids running and laughing around us.
We left the park shortly after and headed towards the art expo. We passed under a huge overpass and over two separate, multi-lane roads with hundreds of anxious cars waiting for their turn at the green, and into a massive tent. Inside, there were hundreds of tables, and thousands of locals, eyeing and selling jewelry, plants, statues and other assorted luxuries. They were piping in some local music, and at that time, I was able to start picking out bits and pieces of the lyrics that I heard. I tried my best to tell Jerry what I thought they were saying, and though I only understood about 20% of the song, I got most of those parts right.
I guess most of the vendors there thought I was ignorant of the language because nobody tried to call me over to buy anything, so I got the chance to check out what they were selling without being hounded to actually get something. I especially liked the bunch of wooden animal statues that I saw in the back.
While walking around, Jerry and I talked about the foibles of each of our languages. I talked about there being no good reason to have to add the letter "S" to present tense verbs for he, she and it, and the foolishness of the past and perfect tenses when we could just add a separate word to the present tense to simplify the language ("I was run" being simpler than "I ran" or "I have eat" being easier than "I have eaten," for example). He told me of something silly about his language, but for anonymity's sake, I have to be vague on his point.
We were there for about an hour before we headed out. Nearing the train station, I asked Jerry if he wanted to come with me to another stop to continue traveling, but he said he had to head home. Being the master reader of tone, body language and semantics that I had become, I could tell that he was bored and wasn't expecting anything fun. I smiled and we said goodbye, then I went off to do something more exciting as a sort of quiet, sneaky payback to my new buddy.
As for today...
I woke up at 8:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I took my son to the arcade, then we went home.
I ate lunch.
I did the dishes.
I roughhoused with my son.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I cleaned up the floor and table again.
I played video games.
I slept.
Time: Mid-2007, single and at the hostel.
Jerry and I got acquainted on the internet and we met up in a part of the main city that I hadn't seen before. The train arrived in a wide, two story, indoor station which was covered with posters advertising coming events. It was also one of the few stations I had been to that had some potted plants around for decoration.
Outside, I saw a local watching me, and I knew it was Jerry. We introduced ourselves, and he asked what I wanted to do. I took out my subway map and pointed around our general area, seeing three different places that were labeled and looked interesting: a college, a park and an art expo.
The college was only a few blocks away, but it was a bit boring. It looked no different than the hundred buildings sitting around it, and its internals were blocked by the dorm rooms, so I couldn't see any courtyards, students or food courts around. So I decided to take us right on past it, and we headed farther down the road and down a few more blocks. On the way were several convenience stores and a freeway overpass that shaded us for a few seconds, but there wasn't much else to talk about.
The park was amazing. We arrived on the southeast side, which just happened to be right next to the huge art expo across the street. Jerry and I went inside and looked over a couple of swing sets and slides, but the main attraction was this huge pirate ship sitting in the middle of the park. It was constructed of polished wood, plastic and metal, and it was solid enough to climb. It even had massive cannons that looked real enough to fire pointing out of it. We weren't allowed inside, but Jerry and I looked at it from every angle while I snapped pictures, then complimented him on the craftsmanship of the people of his country to make such a great piece.
After that, we headed to the northwest, where there was a miniature forest to walk around in. The canopies were so thick that it was almost impossible to see the sun, except for a few rays that pierced the thick leaves in intermittent bursts of light. The ground was covered in leaves that crunched with every step, and we had some noisy company in the form of some kids running and laughing around us.
We left the park shortly after and headed towards the art expo. We passed under a huge overpass and over two separate, multi-lane roads with hundreds of anxious cars waiting for their turn at the green, and into a massive tent. Inside, there were hundreds of tables, and thousands of locals, eyeing and selling jewelry, plants, statues and other assorted luxuries. They were piping in some local music, and at that time, I was able to start picking out bits and pieces of the lyrics that I heard. I tried my best to tell Jerry what I thought they were saying, and though I only understood about 20% of the song, I got most of those parts right.
I guess most of the vendors there thought I was ignorant of the language because nobody tried to call me over to buy anything, so I got the chance to check out what they were selling without being hounded to actually get something. I especially liked the bunch of wooden animal statues that I saw in the back.
While walking around, Jerry and I talked about the foibles of each of our languages. I talked about there being no good reason to have to add the letter "S" to present tense verbs for he, she and it, and the foolishness of the past and perfect tenses when we could just add a separate word to the present tense to simplify the language ("I was run" being simpler than "I ran" or "I have eat" being easier than "I have eaten," for example). He told me of something silly about his language, but for anonymity's sake, I have to be vague on his point.
We were there for about an hour before we headed out. Nearing the train station, I asked Jerry if he wanted to come with me to another stop to continue traveling, but he said he had to head home. Being the master reader of tone, body language and semantics that I had become, I could tell that he was bored and wasn't expecting anything fun. I smiled and we said goodbye, then I went off to do something more exciting as a sort of quiet, sneaky payback to my new buddy.
As for today...
I woke up at 8:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I took my son to the arcade, then we went home.
I ate lunch.
I did the dishes.
I roughhoused with my son.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I cleaned up the floor and table again.
I played video games.
I slept.
Monday, March 18, 2013
Then and Now 61 - Soccer Tour
Then and Now 61 - Soccer Tour
Time: Mid-2007, single and at my apartment.
After I had settled into my apartment, I spent the first night making a big circle to the northeast, then looping back to the west through some dark streets where I met the old man and the dogs, all so I could get to know my neighborhood a little better. This night, I headed southwest and looped to the east to see another side of my new town. My school was in this direction, so I made sure to take another route that I hadn't traveled on my way to work.
It was dark, and the city was settling down. I headed along the long and wide canal that split the residential part of town from the commercial area, and looked in here and there to see how bone dry it was; there hadn't been any rain for a while. Heading past some local businesses and a little steakhouse, I went through an alley between rows of houses towards the bustling center of town. There was a tall clock standing watch over a little park and gazebo, which were on a street island between several twisting roads. There were still quite a few vehicles heading up and down the streets, definitive proof of the many night owls that occupied my new growing city.
To my left was a farmer's market with a huge, glowing neon sign above stating its name, and there were still people moving about picking up veggies, fruit and fish for dinner. I was still dieting, so I just snapped a picture or two and kept moving. As I continued down the road from the city center and time grew later, there were fewer and fewer people around, until it was a surprise to see a car's headlights pass me by. I kept on until it was a bit past midnight, then I cut east to begin my walk back.
It wasn't long before I came across my first mega parks, the first easily three or four city blocks wide. There was nobody there, and it was serenely peaceful. The swings on the swingset moved slightly back and forth in the quiet breeze, the leaves of the trees rustled, and sparsely spaced lights threw long shadows over the grass, sandpits and little cement path that went around the beautiful city block. I spent half an hour just walking about the restful area with a slight smile of contentment on my face.
Heading down another road and past a bunch of cell phone stores, I came to another park. This one was a little smaller at only a block or two, but it had an outdoor concert stadium for sports, orchestras and other kinds of entertainment in one of the corners. Giant floodlights shone down on outdoor bleachers and on a large grassy field behind them, and an older woman was sitting up on the seats, looking down on something going on in the field.
I went around the bleachers and saw a group of foreigners playing soccer with each other. A couple of the locals walking about casted glances their way, but none of them dared to play with the foreigners (probably because of the late hour). I smiled, thinking back on the volleyball tournament that Ken, Harry, Vicki, Yuri, Elle and I played with the locals back in Then and Now 5. I have to admit, I felt a bit smug comparing that day to the lazy game my foreign compatriots were enjoying.
I wanted to do something similar while I was in my new town, and I thought about what I could do with the locals on this field. I decided that someday, I was going to play Super Soccer with anybody who wanted to, which was basically soccer, but played with a ball about ten feet tall. I played it back in school for a week or two, and it was so fun, I wanted to share it with my new neighbors. I wondered briefly how the locals would react to that ball, which was just as insanely hard to get moving as it was to stop it when it was on its way. I always barreled into it no matter the speed, but would the locals be so brave?
After watching the foreigners kick the ball around for a while, I headed back to the north until I found the canal, then followed it back to my apartment to get some rest. Another day of work was coming in just a few hours, and a weekend of fun was just beyond that.
As for today...
I woke up at 6:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I played cars with my son.
I roughhoused with him.
I played video games with him.
I ate lunch.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I did the dishes.
I did a puzzle with my son.
I watched internet movies with him.
I went to work by train, and played video games on the way.
I taught students.
I came home by train, and played video games on the way.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I played video games with my son.
I slept.
Time: Mid-2007, single and at my apartment.
After I had settled into my apartment, I spent the first night making a big circle to the northeast, then looping back to the west through some dark streets where I met the old man and the dogs, all so I could get to know my neighborhood a little better. This night, I headed southwest and looped to the east to see another side of my new town. My school was in this direction, so I made sure to take another route that I hadn't traveled on my way to work.
It was dark, and the city was settling down. I headed along the long and wide canal that split the residential part of town from the commercial area, and looked in here and there to see how bone dry it was; there hadn't been any rain for a while. Heading past some local businesses and a little steakhouse, I went through an alley between rows of houses towards the bustling center of town. There was a tall clock standing watch over a little park and gazebo, which were on a street island between several twisting roads. There were still quite a few vehicles heading up and down the streets, definitive proof of the many night owls that occupied my new growing city.
To my left was a farmer's market with a huge, glowing neon sign above stating its name, and there were still people moving about picking up veggies, fruit and fish for dinner. I was still dieting, so I just snapped a picture or two and kept moving. As I continued down the road from the city center and time grew later, there were fewer and fewer people around, until it was a surprise to see a car's headlights pass me by. I kept on until it was a bit past midnight, then I cut east to begin my walk back.
It wasn't long before I came across my first mega parks, the first easily three or four city blocks wide. There was nobody there, and it was serenely peaceful. The swings on the swingset moved slightly back and forth in the quiet breeze, the leaves of the trees rustled, and sparsely spaced lights threw long shadows over the grass, sandpits and little cement path that went around the beautiful city block. I spent half an hour just walking about the restful area with a slight smile of contentment on my face.
Heading down another road and past a bunch of cell phone stores, I came to another park. This one was a little smaller at only a block or two, but it had an outdoor concert stadium for sports, orchestras and other kinds of entertainment in one of the corners. Giant floodlights shone down on outdoor bleachers and on a large grassy field behind them, and an older woman was sitting up on the seats, looking down on something going on in the field.
I went around the bleachers and saw a group of foreigners playing soccer with each other. A couple of the locals walking about casted glances their way, but none of them dared to play with the foreigners (probably because of the late hour). I smiled, thinking back on the volleyball tournament that Ken, Harry, Vicki, Yuri, Elle and I played with the locals back in Then and Now 5. I have to admit, I felt a bit smug comparing that day to the lazy game my foreign compatriots were enjoying.
I wanted to do something similar while I was in my new town, and I thought about what I could do with the locals on this field. I decided that someday, I was going to play Super Soccer with anybody who wanted to, which was basically soccer, but played with a ball about ten feet tall. I played it back in school for a week or two, and it was so fun, I wanted to share it with my new neighbors. I wondered briefly how the locals would react to that ball, which was just as insanely hard to get moving as it was to stop it when it was on its way. I always barreled into it no matter the speed, but would the locals be so brave?
After watching the foreigners kick the ball around for a while, I headed back to the north until I found the canal, then followed it back to my apartment to get some rest. Another day of work was coming in just a few hours, and a weekend of fun was just beyond that.
As for today...
I woke up at 6:00.
I played video games.
My wife and son woke up, so I turned off the computer.
I played cars with my son.
I roughhoused with him.
I played video games with him.
I ate lunch.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I did the dishes.
I did a puzzle with my son.
I watched internet movies with him.
I went to work by train, and played video games on the way.
I taught students.
I came home by train, and played video games on the way.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I played video games with my son.
I slept.
Friday, March 8, 2013
Then and Now 60 - Odds and Ends 9
Then and Now 60 - Odds and Ends 9
Time: Before I got married.
For the sake of this Then and Now, I'm going to refer to my wife as my girlfriend.
I was at the underground mall one day on the path between two of the subway stations, and I came to a video game store. There were a couple of titles that I recognized, but most of the ones that I saw were completely new to me. There were games of all types: ones with cute characters on the front, ones with tough looking ones, ones with buildings, ones with cars. I didn't understand half of the titles, but I got the idea that I could buy one and play it at home to practice my language skill while I had fun.
I went home later to hang out with Nate and told him about my plan. I asked him what game he suggested to me, and he told me about a title that he played for years in primary school, then found a movie of it on the internet to show me. It looked kind of like a local version of Ogre Battle, and it looked really fun to play. I asked to borrow his copy, he found it for me, and I started playing a little on the weekends.
My girlfriend got pregnant shortly after and I lost the will to continue, but just thinking of the possibilities to combine two of my favorite hobbies, language and games, gives me fantasies of fun that I wish I had followed through on.
-----
I took my girlfriend to the main station to show her around a bit, because as she said, "I live here, but you know this place better than I do!" After wandering a bit around the restaurants and stores inside, we went out to check out some department stores across the way. Outside one of the big ones, there was a huge truck with a long line of people waiting outside of it. It didn't take long to see that it was a bloodmobile, and the people were waiting to be the donor that saved a life.
With my girl's happy blessing, I waited in line to do my part. There was a camera crew walking around and shooting video of the people there, including me, and I wondered if they were a news crew. In direct, and therefore purposefully incorrect, localspeak, I told my girl, "Holy s***! I'm on TV! Hi mom!" She laughed for a long time and repeated my joke several times over the next hour.
About thirty minutes later, I was inside and donating. I watched local TV for a while while my girl chatted up the nurse, then when I was done, I got a chance to get a gift. I asked for the "blood donation socks," another purposefully direct, but incorrect, phrase, and everyone laughed again. Soon after, my girl and I headed out to take a nice walk through the city on a free day.
-----
In the same general area as the bloodmobile, but on a different day, I was walking outside the main station to a huge intersection running across the massive street out front. There were hundreds of people waiting to cross, and I had stood there many times before. Out of nowhere, an old man walked up to me.
"You!" he said in English. "You! What... country?"
I grinned. "America," I answered in the local language.
He smiled a wide smile and his eyes went big. "America!" he exclaimed in English again. "President... Bush! Ah-hahahaha!"
I didn't know what to do, so I just chuckled nervously, waved goodbye and skittered away.
-----
I went out to the main city to see a concert hall, which doubled as a museum filled with DVD presentations of the country's history, statues of local heroes, official and country-sweeping documents hanging on walls, and other assorted pieces of history. I wandered around the main area with the throngs of other people, then snuck around in an area that I wasn't sure was off limits to see a few empty conference rooms.
After I had swept the area twice for interesting sights, I went back outside to spend time among the locals out with their families and enjoying the afternoon air. There was a nice little pond and a couple of trees around it in the middle of a courtyard outside of the hall, so I went over to take a closer look.
A high school student came up to me on the way, and asked in hesitant English if she could do a survey with me about my time in the country. I agreed, and answering her questions, had nothing but glowing praise for her country and people as a foreigner. Where she couldn't find the right word to ask her questions, I helped her out in the local language so we could understand one another, and though she responded with nervous smiles every time, she seemed to get more confident as time went on.
After a few minutes, we were finished, she thanked me, and I went on over to the little pond to spend some time watching the fish.
-----
Tim, Jessie and I had many classes together since I first met them while I was at the hostel. We continued our classes even after I had gotten a job and a stable source of income, and once my financial affairs were settled and I had a workable budget to carry me to my next paycheck (around early October of 2007), we had another class at an ice cream shop. It was on a street corner with an open entrance that let the warm night air in, and I got some kind of fruity shaved ice thing.
I told them then and there that I didn't want to take their money anymore, because I could support myself from then on. I thanked them graciously for their support during our tutoring, and said that from that point forward, we would meet as friends in a class-like setting. They said that they, like I, wanted to continue our class, but they still wanted to pay me somehow. They eventually came up with the plan to pay me in dinner at any restaurant I wanted to eat at. After living on nothing but the free lunches that my job provided for the previous month, I was only too happy to agree to the plan.
We ended up having our first, and last, dinner-for-English class at an incredibly delicious place that sold specially prepared local food. I wish anonymity didn't keep me from going into detail, but suffice it to say, that this place gave Mexican food an absolute run for its money. I had never eaten in a restaurant like this in my entire life, because my family never had the money to go, and I always thought it was an incredible waste when I had disposable cash, when the money I spent on one night of dinner could buy a video game, movie or music CD that would last my entire life. But that night, I had my chance: the atmosphere was relaxed and friendly, the help was very accomodating, the place was brightly lit and full of beautiful pictures on the walls, and I had plate after plate of the most delicious local food I had had to that point.
Tim, Jessie and I didn't talk again after that night. I waited for them to email or call me for another class, but they never got into contact with me, so I played a little waiting game until they were ready.
A few months later, my girlfriend got pregnant, and T&J became the absolute least of my worries. They didn't enter my mind again until I had moved away from the main city and into this one, and I decided to clean out phone numbers on my phone. I deleted all of them, knowing that I would never see any of my other friends again. It was then that I truly realized just how many friends, adventures and opportunities I had lost to marriage.
As for today...
I woke up at 8:00.
I played video games.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I ate lunch.
I watched TV.
I played video games with my son.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I played video games with my son.
I slept.
Time: Before I got married.
For the sake of this Then and Now, I'm going to refer to my wife as my girlfriend.
I was at the underground mall one day on the path between two of the subway stations, and I came to a video game store. There were a couple of titles that I recognized, but most of the ones that I saw were completely new to me. There were games of all types: ones with cute characters on the front, ones with tough looking ones, ones with buildings, ones with cars. I didn't understand half of the titles, but I got the idea that I could buy one and play it at home to practice my language skill while I had fun.
I went home later to hang out with Nate and told him about my plan. I asked him what game he suggested to me, and he told me about a title that he played for years in primary school, then found a movie of it on the internet to show me. It looked kind of like a local version of Ogre Battle, and it looked really fun to play. I asked to borrow his copy, he found it for me, and I started playing a little on the weekends.
My girlfriend got pregnant shortly after and I lost the will to continue, but just thinking of the possibilities to combine two of my favorite hobbies, language and games, gives me fantasies of fun that I wish I had followed through on.
-----
I took my girlfriend to the main station to show her around a bit, because as she said, "I live here, but you know this place better than I do!" After wandering a bit around the restaurants and stores inside, we went out to check out some department stores across the way. Outside one of the big ones, there was a huge truck with a long line of people waiting outside of it. It didn't take long to see that it was a bloodmobile, and the people were waiting to be the donor that saved a life.
With my girl's happy blessing, I waited in line to do my part. There was a camera crew walking around and shooting video of the people there, including me, and I wondered if they were a news crew. In direct, and therefore purposefully incorrect, localspeak, I told my girl, "Holy s***! I'm on TV! Hi mom!" She laughed for a long time and repeated my joke several times over the next hour.
About thirty minutes later, I was inside and donating. I watched local TV for a while while my girl chatted up the nurse, then when I was done, I got a chance to get a gift. I asked for the "blood donation socks," another purposefully direct, but incorrect, phrase, and everyone laughed again. Soon after, my girl and I headed out to take a nice walk through the city on a free day.
-----
In the same general area as the bloodmobile, but on a different day, I was walking outside the main station to a huge intersection running across the massive street out front. There were hundreds of people waiting to cross, and I had stood there many times before. Out of nowhere, an old man walked up to me.
"You!" he said in English. "You! What... country?"
I grinned. "America," I answered in the local language.
He smiled a wide smile and his eyes went big. "America!" he exclaimed in English again. "President... Bush! Ah-hahahaha!"
I didn't know what to do, so I just chuckled nervously, waved goodbye and skittered away.
-----
I went out to the main city to see a concert hall, which doubled as a museum filled with DVD presentations of the country's history, statues of local heroes, official and country-sweeping documents hanging on walls, and other assorted pieces of history. I wandered around the main area with the throngs of other people, then snuck around in an area that I wasn't sure was off limits to see a few empty conference rooms.
After I had swept the area twice for interesting sights, I went back outside to spend time among the locals out with their families and enjoying the afternoon air. There was a nice little pond and a couple of trees around it in the middle of a courtyard outside of the hall, so I went over to take a closer look.
A high school student came up to me on the way, and asked in hesitant English if she could do a survey with me about my time in the country. I agreed, and answering her questions, had nothing but glowing praise for her country and people as a foreigner. Where she couldn't find the right word to ask her questions, I helped her out in the local language so we could understand one another, and though she responded with nervous smiles every time, she seemed to get more confident as time went on.
After a few minutes, we were finished, she thanked me, and I went on over to the little pond to spend some time watching the fish.
-----
Tim, Jessie and I had many classes together since I first met them while I was at the hostel. We continued our classes even after I had gotten a job and a stable source of income, and once my financial affairs were settled and I had a workable budget to carry me to my next paycheck (around early October of 2007), we had another class at an ice cream shop. It was on a street corner with an open entrance that let the warm night air in, and I got some kind of fruity shaved ice thing.
I told them then and there that I didn't want to take their money anymore, because I could support myself from then on. I thanked them graciously for their support during our tutoring, and said that from that point forward, we would meet as friends in a class-like setting. They said that they, like I, wanted to continue our class, but they still wanted to pay me somehow. They eventually came up with the plan to pay me in dinner at any restaurant I wanted to eat at. After living on nothing but the free lunches that my job provided for the previous month, I was only too happy to agree to the plan.
We ended up having our first, and last, dinner-for-English class at an incredibly delicious place that sold specially prepared local food. I wish anonymity didn't keep me from going into detail, but suffice it to say, that this place gave Mexican food an absolute run for its money. I had never eaten in a restaurant like this in my entire life, because my family never had the money to go, and I always thought it was an incredible waste when I had disposable cash, when the money I spent on one night of dinner could buy a video game, movie or music CD that would last my entire life. But that night, I had my chance: the atmosphere was relaxed and friendly, the help was very accomodating, the place was brightly lit and full of beautiful pictures on the walls, and I had plate after plate of the most delicious local food I had had to that point.
Tim, Jessie and I didn't talk again after that night. I waited for them to email or call me for another class, but they never got into contact with me, so I played a little waiting game until they were ready.
A few months later, my girlfriend got pregnant, and T&J became the absolute least of my worries. They didn't enter my mind again until I had moved away from the main city and into this one, and I decided to clean out phone numbers on my phone. I deleted all of them, knowing that I would never see any of my other friends again. It was then that I truly realized just how many friends, adventures and opportunities I had lost to marriage.
As for today...
I woke up at 8:00.
I played video games.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I ate lunch.
I watched TV.
I played video games with my son.
I went to work.
I taught students.
I came home.
I cleaned up the floor and table.
I folded and put away dry clothes.
I played video games with my son.
I slept.
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