Saturday, August 30, 2014

A whole month

Where have I been? What have I been doing?

Same place and nothing, as usual; this is marriage. If you thought marriage was usually made of night dancing, endless laughs on the boardwalk and abundant shared moments that last forever, well, you can think again. Nothing really important has happened in the last thirty days, and they've slipped by quickly, leaving me with 4750 days left on the counter until I'm free again.

The only minor things that happened this month were losing some classes at work to leave me with a more relaxing schedule, me spending lots of time with my son in games, blocks and action figure wars, and otherwise constant work.

I did end up making more money this month than any other month of my life: $3000. Of course, when I did the math and realized that around $150 of that is mine and the rest is going to everyone else around me (I would have kept $2200 as a single man, or $1000 if it were just me and my son), I didn't feel quite so excited.

The final thing to mention is that after a visit from my mom this year and snarfing down the candy and cookies she brought, I was about 220 pounds in the end of winter. It didn't really show because of my height, but it was still unacceptable, so I worked hard to lose that weight up to now. I've now dropped thirty of those pounds on an amazingly effective diet I just discovered, and I'm also fourty pounds away from perfectly and healthily <b>underweight</b>; I'll probably get there in just a few months, now that I know what to do.

After I lose this final weight, my wife will actually be fatter than me. Unmarried men, let that sink into your minds for a second.


  1. What an amazing blog. I've read a lot of it in a heartbeat. As a man in his late 20s from not that much Westernised country i am amazed at my blindness. From now on, I will rethink double about my next steps. Keep up the good work, and endure the pain ! P.S Can you also tell the name of your diet.

    1. Thanks for the kind words, and stay strong. You don't know the pressure or the mind-numbing repetitiveness of marriage until you've experienced it, and by then, it's too late. Don't believe the lies of people who say it's great for men.

      For my diet, I tried:

      - Exercise three times a week for two hours each time, and normal meals. I gained weight.
      - Exercise three times a week for two hours each time, and less food. I lost nothing.
      - Exercise three times a week for two hours each time, and little food. I lost weight, but couldn't even stand when I was at work.
      - Regular calorie meals. I gained weight.
      - 75% of base metabolic rate calorie meals. I gained weight.
      - 50% of base metabolic rate calorie meals. I lost nothing.

      At this point, I got fed up and now no longer eat anything until Sunday. On Sunday, I pig out and eat whatever I want, but for Monday to Saturday, I take only water, a multivitamin pill and a protein drink for the glycogen.

      When I feel like I'm going to collapse from the lack of energy, I eat an apple or a banana and nothing else (this usually happens every other night). Since my metabolism has been this slow since college, there's no other way for me to lose weight and have enough energy to go to work.

      I'd suggest half calorie meals first before you try what I'm doing; your metabolism probably isn't as glacial as mine.