It's another Sunday, so of course that means my wife would be stepping out of line again. It's the only day of the week I get to take a break from work, and she just has to find a way to cause trouble to make it as uncomfortable as possible for everyone else.
I took my son out for a five hour trip to the beach and a windmill, two of our favorite hotspots. My wife, of course, didn't want to come, like she never does. While out, she called me five times, but I didn't pick up because I was busy driving most of the time. So what did she want?
She recently took day work instead of the graveyard shift and has a lot more to do every day before she can go home. I've advised her to change her thoughts, multitask more, talk to her boss or quit her job and stop wasting money on luxuries to break even, but she's only followed through on suggestion 3, otherwise content to come home in a bad mood every night to spread her unhappiness as far and wide as possible. It's just unacceptable that she could proactively do something else to better her circumstances.
So when I got back with our son, I got a little whining about how she was worried something had happened to us, even though our son and I had been out for twice as long before and she had no problems then. Then she whined about a bad dream she had about her work, and after I repeated my advice in its entirety yet again, I got the silent treatment, for which I was thankful.
Then she got a call from her mom and my wife started yelling at her for several minutes, hung up on her and called her back later to yell some more, then complained to me yet again about my mother-in-law's behavior. I ignored her, because that's the only response that quiets her, and she never listens to me anyway. Later, she said that she should apologize to her mom, showing yet more ignored advice that I'd already given: not flying off the handle and dealing with your anger is easier than going ape, then apologizing later. But of course, she ignored me then too, so once she spoke to me again, I just said, "Yeah." Then I ignored her some more to play with my son.
Give her advice, be ignored. Lecture her, be insulted. Dismiss her, invite rage. Ignore her, achieve peace. Where is that girl I used to know?
Right. Marriage swallowed her.
This may be a strange question: Just curious, was your wife behaving the same way with her parents before she met you (Do guys ever ask their wives' parents what they're really like)? Women may be nice pre-marriage and during dating, but their true personality emerges after marriage (and a baby), when they know that they have their husband totally lock-stock-and-barrel so to speak no matter what, and there is no incentive for them to continuing to be nice (thinking the husband would never leave them at that point).
ReplyDeleteYou absolutely nailed the major problem of marriage for men right there. And no, she never acted up to her mom before me, and only acted up to me once. I was too naive and stupid to know what a red flag was at that time, though. I didn't discover the manosphere until about three years ago, far too late to save myself.
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