September.
November.
January.
And now March. Every two months, almost on the nose, my wife seems to have a new s*** test to hand me. And today was no exception.
It really was a minor thing, but she should have known better. I just came home from eleven hours of work and commuting and made $125, $5 of which was going into my own pocket. I shed my clothes to prepare for a shower, and not three minutes from the time I entered the apartment, there my wife was standing behind me, holding a sock. She held it out to me and asked me to put it in a box that was two steps from me, three from her. I shook my head in derision at her, then turned away to get a bath towel.
If you don't see the problem with this, then you're obviously not a married man. I've discussed how I used to do these little jobs, chores and errands for my wife in the past, and how it led to her being a selfish, lazy, disrespectful, demanding shrew who had me maintain the entire house while she sat around and did nothing. The more I helped, the more contempt she handed me, and the more jobs she expected me to take care of. If I had taken that sock, the next s*** test would have arrived in a month, then the next in two weeks, and so on until we were back where we were three years ago.
You cannot stop s*** tests, as they are in a woman's nature; you may as well attempt to stop the sun from rising. But at least if you're an unmarried man, you can accept these tests as fair trade for whatever you're sharing or receiving in your relationship. Try to keep things that way; don't be an idiot like me and end up trading your dreams, your free time, 95% of your money and almost all choice in life in exchange for sex once a month and the non-step tests of marriage.
While I'm posting, I just noticed it's almost April. I can't believe that eleven months have passed since the last anniversary of this blog... so little of consequence has happened in this pitiful life of mine that almost an entire year has slipped by without my attention on it. Hopefully this will keep up for the next thirteen years, when I can finally escape this nonsense and go back to living.
I actually think female "shit tests" are just bad and rude behavior, not necessarily some kind of unconscious biological evolutionary behavior or "male fitness test" to test men. Women can just be a big pain in the ass for a man, that's all - it's just their nature. I think the PUA's and others that came up with this delusional notion are reading too much into this behavior.
ReplyDeleteSee:
http://uncabob.blogspot.com/2014/04/shit-tests-sure-whatever.html
http://uncabob.blogspot.com/2014/06/its-men-who-shit-test-women-not-other.html
http://uncabob.blogspot.com/2014/04/shit-tests-are-for-shit.html
http://uncabob.blogspot.com/2014/05/the-shit-test-fallacy.html
If a woman likes a man, she'll make it obvious and easy for the man - think about it: she doesn't want to drive him away. I think the guys coming up with the idea of female "shit tests" is that they don't have any positive experiences with women, so they don't have a reference experience as to how a woman really acts when she is attracted to a guy and is interested in them. So, the concept of the "shit test" seems plausible to them, when it really isn't. If a woman is insulting you or giving you a hard time, she isn't shit testing or fitness testing you, she just really doesn't like you and is rejecting you. Naive, young and inexperienced guys think she is playing "hard to get." - Nope, she doesn't like them (that doesn't mean she can change her mind about the guy later). A true shit test or fitness test would have to be done over a longer period of time, like in dating.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if those points apply to me personally because this post was written six years after I married my wife, so we've known each other plenty long enough. I also know that once I put into practice the advice given to me by men talking about counteracting these tests, my wife has put a stop to any and all fighting and drama she used to stir up.
ReplyDeleteAlso, whenever she started acting like a pill in more recent months, a quick response as taught to me by other men about these tests shuts her down immediately and makes her act triply eager to please and "win me back." Just today she was trying to condescend to me and tell me to turn on the AC if I was hot, like I was a child who didn't know. I responded without looking, "I didn't feel like it. Doesn't matter anyway: I do what I want." She gasped, then I heard her chuckle, and she later bought me ice cream.
As for other men first getting to know women, I think you're right. I know if I were on the dating field again knowing what I know now, this behavior would be exactly as you say: a woman telling me she's not interested, and I would be gone in a flash. One strike, you're out.